Consequences
by lalaland07
Summary: A Consequence Something that follows from, or is caused by, an action or set of circumstances. Her world was torn apart after the death of her parents. It resulted in a consequence she never saw coming. Now she discovers the true meaning of consequence
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi, this is my first fanfic. It's set in the 7th year so disregards books 7 and also book 6. Let me know what you think.

**Chapter 1- And so it begins...**

Hermione Granger. Daughter of Graham and Jane Granger. Best friend of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Prefect from the 5th year. And now Head girl in her 7th and final year.

She was proud of herself. This was what she'd hoped for since her first year. Her parents were ecstatic too, it wasn't often they could understand things that went on at Hogwarts, but being made head girl was something they could.

It was the second week of August and today she was leaving for the Burrow to spend the rest of her holidays with Harry and the Weasleys.

Her parents drove her into London where she was meeting Mr Weasley at the Ministry of Magic. He was going to take her to the Burrow using side-along-apparition because of the wards on the house.

She stood next to the red phone box that was used as the visitor's entrance to the Ministry and prepared to say goodbye to her parents.

"We're so proud of you my darling! You deserve this so much after all your hard work." Her Mother said, she was a little teary as she always was when it came to saying goodbye before her daughter left.

"You show everyone what you're made of!" said her Father. "We love you so much, enjoy your last year at school."

"I will." She told them before hugging them both and stepping towards the phone box. "I love you both."

"Love you too." They both replied as she closed the door.

Hermione had arrived at the Burrow 20 minutes later and was greeted by Harry and Ginny. Ron had gotten a summer job helping Fred and George in Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. She been pleased to see her friends, the summer holidays always seemed so long when she didn't see the people she was used to seeing everyday at school.

Hermione was now sat in the front room of the Burrow with Harry, Ginny and Fred. Ron and George were still working at Weasleys Wizard Weazes, Fred taking his turn for an evening off. They had been talking for the past couple of hours, catching up on all the goings on in the wizarding world and drinking butterbeer.

The others had moved the conversation on to quidditch. Hermione sat back in her chair, admitting to herself that as dearly as she loved her friends, she'd much rather be curled up reading one of her books than discussing which of the tactical moves Ginny and Fred thought had been the best when they'd recently been to see the Holyhead Harpies play against the Chudley Cannons.

Noticing that all of their mugs of butterbeer were now empty, she decided to make herself of use.

"Does anyone else want more butterbeer?" She asked, they all replied with a fervent yes.

"I'll get it." Said Ginny starting to get to her feet as Hermione made her way towards the kitchen

"It's fine, I've got it." She called back

As Hermione reached into the cupboard and pulled out the large bottle of butterbeer, she heard her phone ringing in the living room.

"Can someone answer my phone please?" Hermione shouted to the others. The mobile had been a present for her 16th birthday last year. The Weasleys were all at a loss to understand it. Mr Weasley in particular had been fascinated of course; she'd spent over an hour last Christmas trying to explain all the different things the phone did to him.

"HELLO!" She heard Ginny shout, obviously still not comfortable with the idea of using a phone. "Yes she's here, I'll just get her." She said before entering the kitchen and handing Hermione the phone.

"It's your aunt." She said

"Oh." Said Hermione wandering what her aunt could possibly want. She figured she wasn't calling for a catch up.

She took the phone and leaned against the kitchen unit holding the butterbeer in her other hand.

"Hello." She answered.

"Hermione." She paused. Hermione noted her serious tone, now she was certain she definitely wasn't calling just for a chat. She stood up properly and moved away from the unit.

"Aunt Elaine, what is it?" She said feeling worry flood over her and settle in the pit of her stomach.

"This isn't easy," Elaine replied. "Hermione, there's been an accident, a car crash." Her voice was shaky as if she was struggling to hold it together.

"Elaine you're scaring me, please just tell me straight. What's happened?" Hermione was panicking now.

"Your parents are dead Hermione." She said gently

Hermione felt as though someone had plunged a hand straight into her chest and gripped it tightly around her heart. There was a loud smash as the bottle slipped through her fingertips and shattered around her feet. Her head was consumed with shock. She could hear the others calling from the other room.

"Hermione, are you ok?" Harry's voice echoed as though she was hearing it through water.

"Hermione?" It was Ginny's voice calling this time; her voice came clearer as Hermione's thoughts started to come back into her mind. She realised she was still holding the phone in her hand, her aunt still on the line.

"I, I have to go." She whispered into the phone, hanging up before her aunt could say anymore. For she could not bear to hear anymore. She didn't want to know any of the details, or what she was supposed to do next. Because hearing any of that would make all this seem real. And this could not be real, because her parents could not be dead. They were her mum and dad and it just wouldn't register in her mind. She wanted to pick up the phone and ring her aunt back so that she could tell her this had all been a dreadful mistake.

"Hermione." Harry was standing in the doorway now, worry etched across his face. Fred and Ginny were standing behind him. "What happened?"  
He walked over to her and pulled her away from the shards of broken glass on the floor before putting his hands on her shoulders and looking into her face. She tried to come to her senses.

"Umm, there's been a car crash," She stuttered her voice cracking. "My parents, they're, they're dead."

It had taken all her strength to utter those words and she had nothing left as the reality set in. She became aware of the hot tears falling down her cheeks as Harry pulled her close to his chest and put his arms around her.

"Mi' I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair.

"Oh no. I'm sorry too." Ginny said softly rubbing Hermione's back in sympathy.

Eventually Harry pulled away from Hermione and put his arm around her shoulder, steering her back towards the living room. When they reached the sofa she sank down into it. Her tears had lessened now and she felt strangely numb. There were so many emotions waiting to spill over but her body wouldn't allow it. As if letting herself break down would take her body with it, and she didn't know how she'd ever be able to get back up. She knew that eventually she would have to let all these emotions out, but for now she preferred the numbness.

"Here you go." Ginny said as she placed a glass of water in front of Hermione. She turned her head to look at it but didn't pick it up.

"Thanks." She said as Ginny sat next to her on the other side. George had sat in the armchair opposite. They sat in silence for a while, it felt like hours but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. Harry, Ginny and George were all  
in shock too, none of them knowing quite what to say. Hermione was grateful to them just for sitting there with her though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 A World Torn Apart**  
  
The past day had been a total blur. She was lying on the spare bed in Ginny's room, her body curled up in a ball. This is where she had been since she found out about her parents. She couldn't bare to face having to get on with life, comfortable with staying in the confines of the room. She hadn't eaten the night before yet she didn't feel hungry despite the protesting groans from her stomach. She thought back to day before, just after she'd found out about her parents.

**Flashback**

Hermione walked with Ginny into the redhead's room. She looked around at the room she'd stayed in during so many other visits to the Burrow. Yet somehow it seemed different, Ginny hadn't changed anything though; the walls were still the same shade of magnolia, the weird sisters poster was still on the wall where it had always been. Perhaps it was the new eyes with which she was seeing things now. The innocence of a teenage girls room seemed tainted now, the family photos on the wall seemed to mock her, portraying a life that Hermione no longer had.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Ginny asked cautiously.

"Do you have any dreamless sleep potion?" Hermione said as she sat down on the bed staring straight ahead, her eyes blank and unfocused.

"Yeh, I'll just get it."

"Thanks Gin." She murmured quietly, lowering her head down to the pillow and curling her legs up to her chest.

Ginny returned and handed Hermione the potion. She lifted her head and downed it barely even registering the unpleasant taste.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Ginny asked, hoping that Hermione would tell her what she was supposed to do to help her deal with this.

"Please could you shut the curtains?"

"Of course." Said Ginny, sighing. She was worried, Hermione was shutting down and she had no idea how to help her.

**End of flashback**

She hadn't had many visitors yet and for this she was grateful, relishing in the silence of the room. Mrs Weasley had been the first, coming in to wake her in the morning. Ginny was already awake having breakfast downstairs with the others. For one blissful second Hermione forgot before the memories came flooding back. She let out a choked sob as Mrs Weasley pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her in her arms.

"It's ok dear, let it out." Mrs Weasley soothed. Hermione clung to her shoulders finally succumbing to the emotions that had been waiting to burst out since the previous day.

"It's not fair." Hermione choked out. "I want them back, I was only with them yesterday and now they're gone."

"I know." Said Mrs Weasley. "I know how hard this is. You probably have no idea what to do at the moment." Hermione nodded into her shoulder taking shuddering breaths. "But that's ok. Just know that we're all here for you. You'll always have a family here with us."

This made Hermione want to cry more. Mrs Weasley was being so kind and she did love all the Weasleys like her family. But her real family, her parents, were gone and she would've given anything to have them back.

Harry and Ron had come to see her later in the morning. The curtains had remained shut covering the window. Hermione refused their offers to open them. She wanted to shut herself away from the real world; the sunshine streaming in, the birds flying past, they were proof that the world was still turning, it was still living. Hermione's world seemed to be frozen in time; her memories stuck on repeat of everything that had happened yesterday like some awful broken record playing over and over in her head.

Neither Harry or Ron had said much. Ron had given her a hug telling her how sorry he was. Normally when she was upset Ron would either have teased her or done something to make her laugh depending on his mood and the reason she was upset. But this time he hardly said anything. He seemed awkward, she knew he was afraid to say anything that might make her cry, he wasn't good when people cried.

Harry had told her that Dumbledore had been round in the morning to offer his condolences. Apparently he'd said that he would understand if she didn't feel ready to return to school straight away, but the start of the new school year was only 2 weeks away, Hermione could only hope that she would be getting back to normal after 2 weeks.

Other than that the trio had sat in silence. As much as she hadn't wanted company, having her best friends there had comforted her. There had been no need for words; just their presence had been enough.

**One week later…**

It had been a week since the first day without her parents. To say Hermione was coping would be an outright lie. The old Hermione who had been logical and focused and happy seemed to have disappeared. The Hermione she had become was distant and spent her days in bed. Ginny and Mrs Weasley had spent hours trying to convince her to leave her bed over the last week. Even Harry and Ron had tried to persuade her to at least come down at mealtimes telling her that Mrs Weasley was beside herself with worry, that they all were. She knew it was only because they cared and wanted to help but she still didn't feel ready to face people.

Today however she had no choice as she finally had to leave the safety of Ginny's room and face everyone. Today was the day of her parent's funeral.

She had been up since 5:30. She'd stayed in bed thinking about what was going to happen today. She'd never been to a funeral before. Her Grandparents had all died before she was 8 and her parents had decided she was too young to attend a funeral then. How she was going to get through today she had no idea. She'd spent a week shut up in this room, shutting herself away from the world, and now she was about to be thrown full force back into it.

The sun started to rise around 6 o' clock. The glare breaking in through the gap in the curtains made her head ache as the sun rays broke over the horizon. She climbed out of bed and walked over to the chair in the corner where her clothes lay draped over it. Harry, Ron and Ginny were coming with her to the funeral, along with Mr and Mrs Weasley, for support. Mrs Weasley had gone to buy her an outfit for today as Hermione had been in no fit state to even think about clothes. Apparently her Aunt Elaine wanted people to wear something brightly coloured as well as black. So Hermione had a black shift dress that came to her knees with a red bolero to go over the top. Had it been for any other occasion, she would have been impressed by Mrs Weasley's choice of muggle clothing. With a sigh she started to put her outfit on.

Hermione had made it downstairs for breakfast. Everyone was dressed in their funeral clothes and had been in a solemn mood but Mrs Weasley had tried to keep the atmosphere as bright as was possible. After she'd forced down some toast and jam she returned to Ginny's room. She sat alone on her bed with her hands clasped in her lap and started to feel tears well in her eyes.

"Hermione." Ron's voice came from behind her where he was stood in the doorway with Harry.

"Hey are you ok?" Harry asked when he saw her tears.

"No." She answered. It was the simple answer, the only answer she had

Harry and Ron came and sat down on either side of her, Ron put his arm around her and Harry took one of her hands in his.

"I don't think I can do this." She said struggling to maintain control over her tears. "Not today."

"I know it isn't going to be easy, but you _will_ get through today. We'll be right there with you ok." Said Harry as he exchanged a concerned glance with Ron. Hermione nodded before leaning forward and running her fingers through her hair.

"We really are sorry." Said Ron, "I know we only met them a few times but they always seemed really nice."

Hermione kept her face in her hands. It was easier to block this out if she couldn't see their faces. It probably helped that they couldn't see her reaction either, because she couldn't stand to hear any of this yet.

Yes she knew how great and nice her parents were. Yes she was sorry too. But these were the things she didn't want to be reminded of, because with reminiscence came the reminder that these were the things that she would desperately miss. She wasn't ready to start dealing with that yet.

*************************************************

Once her emotions were as back in check as she could get them, she made her way downstairs, Harry and Ron followed behind her. They were all leaving by portkey directly into her parent's house.

She hadn't been in the house since she had left in the car with her parents to drive to the Ministry. Thoughts of the car made her feel sick. It was in that car that her Mum and Dad had spent their last moments. The fact that they would never have been in the car had it not been for her, just wouldn't leave her alone. The guilt she felt was immense leaving a strangled feeling in her chest. It made her feel as though her throat had been sealed shut and she could no longer breath; she was suffocating under it.

**Flashback**

"Thank you so much for the lift," Hermione said brightly from the back of her parent's car, "I could've just taken the train up you know."

"Of course you could have, but we wouldn't want our little girl getting a train all the way to London on her own." Said her Dad who was driving.

"Dad I'm 17 years old. I'm not a little kid." She giggled.

"You'll always be our baby, sweetheart." Said her Mum.

"And fancy the idea of you wandering around London alone until you got to the Ministry." Said her Dad.

Hermione laughed at this. If only her parent's knew all the things she had gotten up to with Harry and Ron at school.

"Now you promise to ring once you're settled in at the Weasley's, don't you?" Asked her Mum.

"Yes Mum." She droned.

"Hey, not in that tone of voice miss." Her Dad laughed. "You know we just like to make sure you're ok. How else would we find out what you do while you're away?"

"I know." She said, thinking _If only you knew all that I managed to get up to_. "We really won't be doing all that much anyway. We'll head to Diagon Alley to get school supplies, but we'll probably just end up hanging out at the house playing quidditch and things."

"All the same we like to know to know these things. You are our only daughter after all." Said her Mum.

**End of flashback.**

Why hadn't she just taken the stupid train? Her parents had insisted they drove her and she had indulged them in their protectiveness. If she could have gone back she would have changed her mind and taken the train every time. It made her yearn for the time turner she had used in 3rd year; she wished desperately that it was still in her possession.

At around 11 o' clock Hermione gathered with Harry and the 4 Weasley's around the large flowered vase that had been turned into a portkey. She felt a tug behind her stomach and was spun into darkness, before her feet landed firmly on the floor of her front room.

She heard sounds from upstairs.

"Hello." She called, listening to the footsteps descending the stairs.

"Hermione sweetheart." Her Aunt Elaine said pulling her into a hug as she entered the room. "I didn't hear you arrive. How are you?"

"Holding up." She replied with as honest an answer as she could.

As her Aunt introduced herself to the others, Hermione looked around the room. It looked exactly as it had when they'd left it; varnished wooden floor, white textured wallpaper, 2 large sofas covered in brown cord material. As she continued to look around she was met with pictures that brought back a hundred memories; birthday parties, holidays, school pictures.

It looked like today was going to be just as hard as anticipated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Of Goodbyes and Hello's**

The funeral service had been her own personal hell. She had felt like she would suffocate under the atmosphere. She'd been sat between her Aunt Elaine and Ron. The silences were over whelming, offering her no concealment for her cries. When they had brought in the coffins her legs nearly buckled out from underneath her. Ron had put an arm around her to keep her standing.

The rest of the service had gone by in a blur. She'd barely felt conscious during most of it, barely listened as friends and relatives got up to talk about her parents. She was glad she'd refused to stand up and make a speech. That would have just about finished her off and she didn't feel the need to make her own personal breakdown a public display.

After the funeral everyone had returned to her parent's house. It was for all intents and purposes a wake, but Hermione didn't want to use that name. A wake…awake. She found herself wandering why no one had ever thought of the irony when they had first used the name. For it suggested a conscious state of awake and whoever you had buried certainly wasn't in a conscious state.

So here she was surrounded by relatives, most of whom she hadn't seen in years. She made her way to the kitchen where Elaine and Mrs Weasley were sorting out the food.

"Can I do anything?" She asked.

"No dear, we've got everything under control." Said Mrs Weasley.

"Yes, you go and see everyone sweetheart." Said Elaine

"Oh, ok." She replied. She had been hoping she'd be able to avoid talking to people under the pretence of being busy serving food. She just wasn't in the mood to listen to people say how sorry they were. But what could she do? If she demanded they let her help, they'd only worry more about her mental state. People were walking on eggshells around her enough as it was.

"Don't you worry about anything. We're here to help." Said Mrs Weasley as she ushered her out of the kitchen.

_Don't worry about anything. Yeh, that should be easy_.

She walked into the front room to face her relatives.

"Hermione." Someone called.

Hermione groaned inwardly. This voice belonged to her Aunt Janet. Out of all her relatives, Janet was probably the one she wanted to talk to the least. She was family in the smallest sense of the word. She may have been her father's sister but biologically was where the connection ended. They only ever saw her at family events, whether happy or sad. Hermione's Mum had hated her and even her Dad hadn't been keen and she was his sister. She was the sort of person that thought herself above everyone else in the family. To say she was a snob was an understatement, she had always criticised her parent's house whenever she was round.

"Auntie Janet." Hermione turned around to face her and attempted to put even the smallest hint of enthusiasm into her voice.

"How are you darling?" Janet asked.

"I'm fine." She lied, knowing full well that Janet wasn't interested in hearing the truth about how she was feeling. "How are you?" She asked in return.

"Oh I'm ok." Her aunt replied. "I was just telling people how desperately sorry Thomas and Isabelle are that they couldn't be here."

Thomas and Isabelle were Hermione's high achieving, super motivated and ambitious cousins. They were like her in so many ways, not that her parents had ever been able to let Janet know that, they would've been lucky to get a word in edgeways. Hermione knew she was about to hear just how wonderful and fabulous there were.

"Thomas had a big meeting at his office today. He tried and tried to get out of it but just couldn't. You know how it is what with him being promoted to department manager, they really can't do without him." Janet droned on. "And Isabelle is still completing her travelling. Did I tell you she's been helping to build a school in Tanzania?"

"No you didn't." Hermione replied, although she was barely listening. "How wonderful for her." She wandered if that sounded as sarcastic out loud as it had in her head.

"Yes well we're very proud of them both. But enough about my kids. I really was so desperately shocked when I heard about Graham and Jane." She said.

"We all were." Hermione replied. She honestly had no words more meaningful than this to say to her. She was already planning an excuse as to why she had to get away from her. Janet was speaking again but Hermione had lost concentration once more.

"…so awful. I can only begin to imagine how you must be handling things."

_Because precious Isabelle and Thomas have never had to deal with anything of the sort_. She replied silently in her head.

"And what will you do with the house?" She looked around the room with the snobbish look she had perfected when walking into Hermione's parent's house. "You're far too young to live here by yourself. If you were to sell, you'd have to re-decorate of course. You parents always had such outdated taste." She let out a small chuckle obviously thinking she was talking about some funny quirk her parents had had. Hermione felt anger rising as her Aunt continued to talk about her parent's house.

_The vile smug cow!_

"Why are you here?" Hermione interrupted, louder than she had intended. People around them turned to look.

"Excuse me." Janet said in a shocked tone.

"I said, why are you here? How dare you come in here and still put my parents down. The only reason we're in this room is because they're dead!" Hermione's voice had risen and now most of the people in the room were staring awkwardly. She could hear Ginny saying her name from somewhere behind her.

"You're so full of yourself and your perfect bloody children that you don't give a thought for anyone else's feelings! My parents hated you when they were alive so I don't know why you're here now!" That last line hadn't been far from shouting.

Hermione was now breathing heavily and the whole room had been plunged into a shocked silence. Janet was stood there with a look on her face that suggested that nobody had ever spoken to her like that before.

"I need some fresh air." Hermione said into the silence before walking out of the front door. She walked down the garden path and started to make her way down the street, her arms wrapped around herself. She flicked her hair out of her eyes. Ginny had used Sleekeazy's hair potion on it and pulled it back in a bun but it was now falling loose.

"Hermione." She heard Harry's footsteps running up behind her. "Hey wait. Where are you going?"

"I don't know," she said. "I just need to get away from here." She angrily wiped away the tears that had started to fall.

"Ok, well come back in the house and we'll go back to the Burrow." Said Harry.

"No," she cried. "Look, I need to be alone right now. Please!" She begged.

"I don't think you should be on your own." He replied.

"I'll be fine, but I need to do this Harry. I need to be by myself for a bit."

"At least come back to the Burrow. I'm sure Ginny wouldn't mind sharing a room with someone else, you can have her room to yourself."

"Harry please. I know you just want to help but…"

"I do," he interrupted, "We all do. You know, I understand what it's like to lose both your parents, to feel like you don't have a family. But you do, we're your family. Me and the Weasley's."

"I know and I love you all so much. But if you love me too then you'll let me go now."

"Where will you go?" He asked.

"I don't know, the Leaky Cauldron probably. I'll be fine there ok."

Harry sighed before nodding his head.

"Ok." He said. "Just let us know you're alright, yeh"

"Of course," she replied. "Thank you Harry." She pulled him into a hug before wiping away her tears again and walking into an alley to disapparate.

* * *

Hermione's feet hit the ground in the Leaky Cauldron. She only had one thought in her mind and that was to forget. She walked over to sit at the bar and waited for Tom the landlord to come over. She looked around the room, it was relatively quiet. A couple of wizards were sat in the corner playing wizard's chess. A group of witches were sat around a table talking. There was also a hooded figure sat in the back of the pub covered by the shadows.

"Hello Miss Granger. What can I get you?" Tom asked.

"Firewhisky please." She replied.

"Is everything alright?" He asked as he poured firewhisky into a glass.

"Everything's fine." She replied in a voice more harsh than necessary. She couldn't even escape the questions here.

The firewhisky burned her throat but she relished in the affect it had on her, taking the edge off everything she was feeling.

She ordered another glass and found herself sinking into oblivion. By the time she knew it she was on her 5th glass and all the emotions of the past week had been suppressed some place she didn't know where. But if a few glasses of firewhisky was enough to send them there she didn't care.

"Didn't think you were the sort to drink firewhisky Granger." A cold voice came from behind her.

She turned to see Draco Malfoy stood there. He had been the hooded figure in the corner, his robe left discarded on the table. She had expected to see a sneer plastered across his face but it wasn't there. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, he looked disheartened, like he'd given up on himself.

"What's it to you if I am?" She replied, annoyed at her disturbance.

"Nothing," he said, the broken look from before now gone and replaced with a scowl. "I was just wandering what you've done to make Scarhead and Weaselbee ditch you? Finally gotten sick of you too have they?"

"Go away Malfoy. I'm really not in the mood right now." She glared at him.

"Touchy tonight aren't we." He said.

"Why are you talking to me? I'm a mudblood remember, scum of the wizarding world. You wouldn't want to catch any germs." She replied coldly.

"Yeh well maybe I'm starting to build immunities." He muttered.

"I meant it when I said go away Malfoy."

"Alright alright. No need to get your knickers in a twist, it's not like someone died."

She turned her head away quickly before he could see the tears building in her eyes. If only he knew how close to the bone that had hit. She didn't turn around to face him again, after a few minutes she assumed he had returned to his table. She discovered she was wrong when he sat down on the bar stool next to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked him incredulously.

"Sitting down, what does it look like? And they say you're the brightest witch of your age."

"Go away!"

"No, I can sit where I want Granger."

Deciding to ignore him she called Tom over to order another firewhisky. She was fiddling through her money bag for the right coins, when a galleon was placed on the bar and pushed towards the landlord.

"I can pay for my own drink. I don't need your charity." She told him.

"A thank you would have been just fine. Hasn't your Mother ever taught you any manners? Maybe I paid because you looked so desperately tragic fumbling through your money bag like that." He said

The reminder of her parents again had sobered her up slightly. It was like he knew. She knew he couldn't have though, these were just his usual taunts. She shoved a few sickles into his hand and downed the firewhisky in one.

"Don't you think you should slow down a bit?" He said

"No I don't."

"So, why are you here anyway?" He asked.

"What is this? 20 questions?" She said.

"Good way to avoid answering." He smirked

"Well why do you get to ask all the questions?" She had no idea why she was talking back. But then she had no idea about anything anymore.

"I don't. Ask away Granger."

She hadn't meant that literally. She had no idea what to ask him. She shrugged.

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

"Oh yeh, I can see you put a lot of thought into that one." The smirk returned to his face once more.

"Well shouldn't you be off with your Slytherin cronies or following your Dad around like his miniature."

His eyes hardened at the mention of his father, but he didn't let her see anymore than that.

"Maybe I'm here for the same reasons you are" He answered.

"I highly doubt that." She said.

"No? Surely you're here to forget. To drown your sorrows and hope the answers to all your problems lie at the bottom of the glass."

She looked at him in shock. He'd just described exactly why she'd decided to come here.

"I'm right aren't I. Looks like we're not a million miles away from each other after all then." He said with no emotion in his voice.

"Maybe you should slow down on the drink too." She said.

He laughed slightly.

"Maybe I should."

Hermione certainly wasn't slowing down. She ordered another glass of firewhisky and drank it down.

"Tom, another firewhisky down here please." She called, her voice was starting to slur now.

"I think you've had enough Granger." Draco said.

"Really? Cos I don't think I have. I'm sure I've had just as much as you."

"True, but I think I can handle my drink a bit better than you can."

She went to get up from her bar stool ready to give him a piece of her mind but stumbled and felt her legs give out from underneath her. Draco caught her around the waist and pulled her to him to keep her up. The contact shocked her, they were now standing closely together. Her chest was pushed up against his. She looked up, realising that her face was alarmingly close to his. She saw his eyes glance down to her lips before an invisible force seemed to pull them towards each other. The next thing she knew their lips had met and they were kissing

_What am I doing? Merlin I must be more drunk than I thought. I'm kissing Malfoy and I'm enjoying it._

She ran her tongue along his bottom lip before he opened his mouth to allow her tongue entrance. After a couple of minutes she pulled away.

"Malfoy, what are we doing?"

"I don't know." He replied, before moving in to kiss her again. His arms were still around her waist and she had moved her hands up his chest and around his neck. This time it was Draco who pulled away.

"I've got a room upstairs." He said.

"Maybe we should take this up there then." She replied.

"Thing is though, you're pretty drunk right now. I'm not gonna take advantage."

"Why would you be? You're drunk too. I know what I'm doing. Like you said it's about forgetting right. One night, no strings attached, to forget."

He nodded before leading her up the stairs towards his room. She'd told him she knew what she was doing but if she was honest his kisses were mesmerizing her. That added in with the firewhisky was making her forget exactly who she was and exactly who he was.

Once they were in his room they returned to getting lost in each other's kisses. She could feel how aroused he was against her thigh. It made her feel powerful to know she had that affect on him.

Making a decision about what she wanted to do next she moved her hands to the buttons on his shirt before starting to undo them. She was about halfway down when Draco pulled away.

"Granger." He said breathlessly.

She looked up in confusion before noticing why he had stopped her. There was a huge purple bruise across his abdomen and smaller ones starting to form across his chest as if someone had poked him there. She gasped in shock. Draco turned his head away from her when she stroked her fingers across them. Raising her fingers she touched his cheek and turned his head to face her again before pulling him into another searing kiss.

She returned to the rest of the buttons on his shirt, grabbing the corners of it once it was open and pulling him over to the bed. His hands slid down to the hem of her dress before he pulled it up over her head and leant in to kiss her again. She returned the kiss as she slid his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms letting it fall to the floor. She pulled him down on top of her in a silent agreement to what they were about to do.

* * *

Hermione was now lying curled up next to Draco. He had his arm around her and she was resting her head carefully on his chest to avoid the bruises. They lay in silence for a long time, neither sleeping, but indulging in the quiet. Eventually Draco broke through the silence.

"What happened to you Granger?" He wasn't sure why he asked. It wasn't like he really needed to know, but he was curious. It must have been pretty bad for her to do this with him. He wandered if she'd expected him to ask.

"My parents," she said after taking a deep breath. "They were killed in a car crash. Today was their funeral."

The silence returned. Draco wasn't sure what to say, but he wrapped his arm tighter around her when he felt a cold tear fall on to his chest.

"I'm sorry." He said a few moments later. Hermione didn't say anything at first, just carried on in her silent crying.

"What about you? What happened to your chest?" She eventually asked in return.

She heard Draco's breath catch before he slowly let it out. She didn't think he was going to answer, she'd obviously hit a nerve. She jumped when she heard his voice interrupt her thoughts.

"You said I'm my Father's miniature. Perhaps if I did a better job at that I wouldn't be such a disappointment to him." He told her.

"Your father did this?" She asked.

"I'm supposed to join the death eaters as soon as I leave Hogwarts. I told him I wasn't ready. That wasn't what he wanted to hear." His voice was so cold it made her want to shiver. She raised her head up to look at him.

"You're not his miniature Malfoy. That's a good thing."

"Not in his eyes or the eyes of the Dark Lord. I don't see what choice I have anyway. They'll kill me if I don't. I just would've liked a little more time to live my life before I signed away my soul."

She didn't know how to reply. He sounded as though he'd already given up on life. Instead of words she simply squeezed his shoulder that was opposite her head to let him know she was listening.

"You can't tell anyone what I've told you tonight, understand." He said.

"I wouldn't. As long as you don't tell people about my parents. I don't want people to feel sorry for me."

"Deal." He said nodding his head.

That was the end of their conversation and they spoke no more as they both fell into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4- The Morning After The Night Before**

She had only been asleep for a few hours and when she woke up it was the middle of the night. Her brain was fuzzy and her eyes were refusing to open yet. As she became more aware, she realised her head was resting on something hard and warm. Sliding her hand up she realised it was a person. All at once she was hit with the memories of yesterday. The funeral, Aunt Janet, firewhisky and Draco Malfoy.

Her eyes shot open at the last thought. She was met with the sight of Malfoy sleeping, his eyebrows furrowed. She sat up quickly and clutched her head as it pounded from her movements. The affects of the firewhisky setting in. Looking down she noticed they were both naked.

_Oh no. What have I done?_

She climbed out of bed carefully so as not to wake him. Retrieving her underwear and dress from where they had been discarded the previous night, she started to pull them on quickly. She wanted to get out of there as fast as she could.

_What was I thinking? Well I wasn't thinking was I. that was the point. _  
Hermione left the room as quietly as possible. Right now she wanted nothing more than to return to the Burrow and apologise for leaving and making them all worry. With that thought in her mind she apparated just outside of the wards placed over the Burrow.

Walking through the gate, she saw a light still on in the kitchen. She made her way up to the front door and knocked lightly.

"Hello. Who's there? Reveal yourself." Came Mrs Weasley's voice from behind the door.

"It's me, Hermione. Best friend of Harry and Ron. In my 4th year at Hogwarts you only sent me a small Easter egg because you thought I was going out with Harry and cheating on him."

Mrs Weasley opened the door and pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Hermione dear. I've been so worried, I couldn't sleep knowing you were gone. I was so cross with Harry for just letting you leave. Where have you been? Are you ok? Have you eaten?" She questioned.

"I'm fine Mrs Weasley, honestly. I've just been at the Leaky Cauldron. I'm not really feeling hungry at the moment, thanks." She replied. Her stomach was churning and the thought of food made her want to throw up.

"I don't blame you for wanting to be away from that awful woman. Your Aunt Elaine was so angry at her. But you mustn't just leave like that. Anything could have happened to you!"

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't want to make any of you worry." Hermione was starting to tear up again. Everything was beginning to sink in now.

"Now don't you go making yourself upset again. You're safe now. Are you sure I can't get you something to eat? Some cocoa maybe?"

"No thanks. I think I might just go on up to bed." She said.

"Ok then, you'll let me know if you need anything though wont you."

"Of course Mrs Weasley. Thank you. Goodnight."

* * *

Hermione was making her way up the 2nd flight of stairs when she was met with the sight of Harry sat at the top.

"I thought I heard you downstairs." He said.

"Yeh, I decided to come back." She said quietly before making her way up to sit next to him.

"I'm glad, we were all pretty worried. I thought Mrs Weasley might scalp me when I told her you'd gone."

"Yeh she told me she was angry downstairs. I really didn't mean to create anymore problems. I just couldn't think straight. I had to get away."

"And now? Are you feeling better now?" He asked.

"Not really." She whispered.

"Did you go to the Leaky Cauldron? What happened, why did you decide to come back?"

"Yeh I went there." She told him. As she remembered exactly what she had done there she burst into tears.

"Hey, what's up? Did something happen there?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Nothing. Nothing happened there." She said snuggling in closer to his chest. "It's just everything. I want everything to go back to how it was before the car crash."

"I know. If I could find some way to make all this go away for you, you know I would right." He said.

She nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder.

How could she tell Harry what she'd done, and with his worst enemy too. Except he hadn't been the usual Malfoy when he'd sat with her in the bar the night before. He seemed to understand exactly what she was feeling without asking too many questions.

She couldn't deny that she'd been affected by the copious amounts of firewhisky she'd had, but she couldn't accuse him of taking advantage. If she did, she'd have to accuse herself as well, because he'd been drinking too and it was obvious he wasn't himself even without it. They'd taken advantage of each other; because there'd been no one else there, because in that moment they hadn't needed a friend who would beg them to say why they were hurting. They'd lost themselves in each other, both knowing that nothing would change between them once the night had passed.

She didn't think Harry would see it that way. She wouldn't have blamed him either. Even though she had had her reasons she still felt so ashamed of herself. She wasn't the sort of girl to just throw herself at any guy. When she'd woken up next to Malfoy and remembered what they'd done it hadn't seemed like as good an idea as it had the night before when the firewhisky had taken the edge off everything.

Harry was rubbing her back now while he held her to his chest. She felt guilty, as though she'd betrayed him and the Weasley's. Harry who was sat here holding her through her tears. Mrs Weasley who had sat up waiting for her to come home. Ginny and Ron who'd spent hours trying to get her to open up to them.

She needed to start to deal with all the grief and hurt she was feeling. She couldn't go on like this. Hurting the people she loved, the people who loved her. She definitely couldn't go around sleeping with guys to help her forget how she was feeling.

"Harry, I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What? Why are you apologising?"

"I'm sorry for all of this. How I've been acting. For going off after the funeral."

"Listen to me," he pulled away from her and looked her in the face. "None of this is your fault ok. Nobody blames you for anything that's happened. We're all just worried about you. You have to talk to us Mi'. You can't go on shutting us all out like this."

"I know. I'll try I promise." She sniffed.

"Good. Anyway I think you should go to bed now, it's pretty late." He said

"I will, maybe you should too." She told him.

"Well I can now I know you're home safe."

"Thanks Harry," she pulled herself up. "Goodnight."

"Night." He replied before making his way up to the attic room he was sharing with Ron.

* * *

When Draco had woken up in the morning he'd found that Granger was gone. He had expected it; was quite relieved because he wouldn't have known what to say to her. They certainly weren't friends or even acquaintances and he wasn't going to suddenly start being nice to her. But he felt they at least had an understanding now. Even if it did just mean they ignored each other, it was one step up from before with the shouted insults and punches in her case. He was speaking for himself of course, Granger may still want to argue and punch him. But he for one planned on ignoring her completely.

He wasn't sure why he'd done what he did last night. He could only just find the reasons for why he'd gone to talk to her.

When she'd first walked in he hadn't recognised her at all. He'd looked up to see a pretty girl with sleek brown hair walk in, wearing a dress that clung to her body in all the right places. He couldn't deny that he'd been attracted to this girl.

However when he'd realised this girl was Granger he'd nearly died of shock. Then he'd seen the look on her face. He knew something was wrong; it was obvious she'd been crying. When Tom had asked her if she was alright she'd snapped at him defensively. Her face was a picture of distress and total devastation. Whatever had made her upset had her broken.

He'd watched from his shadowed corner as she drank more and more firewhisky slowly getting drunk.

He never intended to go and talk to her. He'd been quite content to sit and wallow in his own self pity. His chest and stomach had been stinging, he'd taken a pain relief potion but it had starting to wear off. Thinking about his Father had made him feel angry again.

He'd been avoiding his Father as much as possible during these holidays. All he wanted to talk about was Voldemort's plans for Draco.

Draco had spent a lot of time hanging out with Blaise, he was reminded of how his life was at school. He moaned about it enough, but secretly he enjoyed it more than he let on. Hanging out with his mates and not having to worry about much at all. This year he'd been made Head Boy. His Mother had been thrilled when they found out. His father was pleased at the achievement but had said that it didn't really matter as he'd be joining the Death Eaters as soon as he graduated.

This was what the argument had been about yesterday. He'd told his Father that he wanted more time before he had to join. He wanted to maybe travel the world a bit first. Possibly get a job if that was what he felt like doing after school. All he knew was that he wasn't ready to make such a huge decision right after leaving Hogwarts.

This of course had upset his Father. He had scoffed at Draco's request telling him that there would be no need to do any of that when the Dark Lord was going to be taking over the wizarding world. He had talked of the power they would have when he joined, but Draco wasn't sure he wanted that sort of power. He'd seen the violence and the killings carried out in his home. He'd seen things that he'd never be able to erase from his memory.

The argument had escalated until his Father had lost it, poking him in the chest with his cane over and over telling Draco that he would listen to him and do as he was told. Draco had fallen to the floor before being kicked in the stomach before his Father had left.

He had pulled up the hood of his robe and taken the floo network to Diagon Alley, eventually ending up in the Leaky Cauldron. And there he'd sat until the beautiful broken girl had walked in.

Originally he'd gone to talk to her in the hope that annoying her might raise his spirits. It hadn't happened that way though. He'd found himself curious as to why she was so obviously upset. He didn't care about her, but he'd been comforted to know that even though it felt as if his world was crashing down around his ankles there was someone else who seemed to be falling apart at the seams too.

He'd been surprised that he enjoyed their banter; it had brought a smirk to his face. He did start to notice that maybe she was drinking a little more than was good for her, but she hadn't listened to anything he'd said. But then she'd fallen. It had been his seeker reflexes that had made him automatically go to catch her before she fell to the ground. This was where his memory seemed to haze. It had been more physical contact than he'd had in a long time when he'd pulled her against his chest. He hadn't been able to stop himself from leaning in to kiss her.

It was like an electric spark had been shot through him, nothing else was running through his head other than the desperate need to ravage her mouth. He really hadn't been thinking when he'd told her he had a room, it just slipped out. But when she had agreed to go upstairs with him he'd started to have doubts. He was more than aware of how much she'd had to drink, he might have been many things but he wasn't the sort to take advantage of a girl who was out of it. But Granger had insisted she knew what she was doing, and the way she had described it,

'One night, no strings attached, to forget.'

That was what he craved desperately, to forget about everything. Who he was. What he was going to have to become. And she'd been there with the same needs as him. To be taken to a place where reality didn't exist, where blood didn't matter, where the past was forgotten. Even if it was just for one night.

He hadn't thought about the bruises hidden beneath his shirt until she had started to remove it. He'd panicked and stopped her, but she hadn't freaked out or demanded he tell her right there what had happened. He'd been grateful for that, to be able to carry on in the moment without having to think about why they were both there.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5- And So We Meet Again**

The end of the holidays had finally arrived. Hermione hadn't left the burrow again after returning from the Leaky Cauldron. Not even to go and get her school supplies from Diagon Alley. She'd given Mrs Weasley her money and asked her to get them for her.

Her initial reaction upon returning had been guilt for making everyone worry and a determined realisation that she had to start dealing with her grief.

This however had quickly dissipated. She had found it increasingly difficult to spend time around Harry and the Weasley's, feeling like a spare part seeing as Harry and Ginny had been dating since the end of last year. The perfect happy family routine seemed to mock her. Even when Ron and Ginny argued with Mrs Weasley, she found herself thinking of how she would never have even that with her parents anymore.

Mealtimes were the worst. All gathered around the table together while Fred and George cracked jokes and Mr Weasley talked about all that was going on at the Ministry. Mrs Weasley had taken to watching Hermione like a hawk to make sure she was eating. So Hermione had been choosing to take naps whenever a big family meal was looming to avoid them as much as possible.

****************************************************************

She was now stood on Platform 9 ¾ with Harry and Ron.

"So, who do you think Head Boy is Hermione?" Asked Ron.

"No idea." She shrugged.

"I wasn't really expecting it to be one of us," said Harry gesturing to himself and Ron. "I mean I know Dumbledore thinks I've got enough to be getting on with what with Voldemort and Ron's never really been dedicated enough. No offence Ron. "

"None taken mate," Ron laughed, "I reckon it'll be a Ravenclaw, you know someone smart, like you Hermione."

"Yeh, probably." Hermione replied. She hadn't really thought about who was Head Boy all that much. She would be sharing a dorm with him, she knew that much but she'd had other things on her mind for obvious reasons.

Ginny approached them and linked her hand in Harry's.

"Come on, we should go find a compartment on the train." She said before pulling Harry along with her, Ron following behind them.

"Are you coming Mi'? The trains about to leave." Said Ron.

"Um I'm supposed to go and sit in the heads compartment, sorry guys." She told them

"I guess we'll see you later then." Said Ginny, disappointment obvious in her voice.

"Yeh," Hermione replied. "See you all later."

She knew her friends were worried about her. Ginny had spent ages trying to convince her that locking herself away in their room wasn't helping. But what did she know? She still had both her parents. The only person who did understand how she was feeling was Harry and she didn't want to burden him. Not when he already had so much to deal with.

She climbed onto the train and found the heads compartment. She sat down next to the window and stared blankly out of it. She heard the door slide open a few moments later and looked up in shock when she was met with grey eyes and white blonde hair.

******************************************************************

Draco didn't know why he was shocked when he walked into the heads compartment and saw Granger. Of course she'd have been made Head Girl. He hadn't put a lot of thought into it if he was honest. He'd stayed at the Leaky Cauldron for a couple more days before his Mother had turned up and begged him to return home, telling him that his Father was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again.

Of course it had though. Draco was now sporting bruises across his back where he'd been pushed back against the concrete steps of the Manor.

Granger had been staring out of the window before he'd walked in. Now she was staring at him in shock.

"You're Head Boy." She said

"Don't sound so surprised Granger," he replied coldly. "If it wasn't for you I'd have the best grades in our year."

_How dare she! If anything I've got more right to be here than she has._

"Wipe that look of shock off your face. Dumbledore obviously thought at least one of us needed good blood. If it had been up to me I wouldn't be the only pureblood in here." He said.

"Are we really going back to all that. After everything."

_Damn_. He'd hoped she wouldn't bring that up, he certainly wasn't planning to. This brought back the memories of what they had done and why they had done it. _Her parents_, he thought. If the look on her face before he'd entered was anything to go by she still wasn't coping. His decision to ignore her came back to him.

_Well it's going to be bloody hard to ignore her if we've got to share a dorm together. _

"Look Granger," he started. "We've got to get through this year, right. Well I think the best way to do that is if we just ignore each other. We'll talk when it comes to head duties. But other than that lets just stay out of each others way."

"You're the one who came in here mouthing off with your pureblood prejudices."

He didn't reply, just looked at her and waited.

"Alright, that sounds like the best thing to do." She finally said.

"Good." He replied. And with that they turned away from each other and sat in silence for the rest of the journey, each getting up a couple of times to patrol the train corridor.

As the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade station Draco climbed to his feet.

"I think we're supposed to make sure everyone gets into the carriages alright." He said

"I know Malfoy." She hissed and stalked past him.

_Great, the ignoring thing's going really well already._

*********************************************************

Hermione was sat at the Gryffindor table next to Ron; Harry and Ginny sat opposite them. Dumbledore had announced the feast before the food had appeared before them.

Hermione picked up a bread roll and buttered it before taking tiny nibbles. Her eyes had glazed over and her thoughts were a million miles away from the Great Hall and the people surrounding her.

"Hermione."

She was brought back to reality by Harry calling her.

"You were miles away then," said Ginny. "You are going to eat more than that, aren't you."

"I'm eating my roll at the moment." She replied.

"I know. It's just that you must be starving, you didn't come down for breakfast this morning."

"I was busy finishing my packing. And what's to say I didn't eat loads from the trolley on the train." She said defensively

"Did you?" Ron asked through a mouthful of food.

"Look, I'm just not hungry right now ok. Will you please just leave it!" She told them angrily.

Harry, Ron and Ginny exchanged looks over the table. Not wanting to cause an argument and push her even further away, they decided to leave it for now.

The rest of the welcome feast passed in a haze. Hermione had listened in to peoples conversations about how brilliant their summers had been. She pointedly avoided answering anyone's questions about hers. What was she going to tell them? The truth? Yeh that was likely, then everyone other than Slytherin would treat her with kid gloves too; frightened to say anything that might upset her. No, that was the last thing she wanted.

Dumbledore had announced that she would be Head Girl and Malfoy Head Boy at the end of the feast. Everyone had clapped but there had been more than a few shocked gasps when Malfoy's name had been called out. Harry and Ron sat with their arms across their chests. Hermione had told them and Ginny when she'd been on patrol on the train. The boys had been horrified to say the least. Ginny had pointed out that his grades were second best next to Hermione's. Harry and Ron hadn't been interested though, huffing and puffing about Hermione's safety, when really it was their own pride that was damaged.

Dumbledore asked her and Malfoy to wait at the end so they could be shown to their new dorm. They stood next to each other awkwardly by the doors of the Great Hall waiting for the Headmaster to finish.

They were now following him along a 4th floor corridor before he stopped outside a portrait. The lady in the picture had pale skin and long brown hair pulled back in ringlets. She was wearing a dress that suggested she was from the late 19th century.

"This is Elphera, she will be your portrait while you are head students." Dumbledore told them. "The password is Consocio."

"Hello." The head students both muttered, neither in the mood for a big get to know you chat.

"Right, well lets go in then." Said Dumbledore obviously picking up on their moods. "After you."

Hermione followed in after Malfoy with Dumbledore behind them.

The common room was similar to the Gryffindor common room. Except it wasn't round and there were silver and green hangings as well as red and gold. There was a fireplace on one wall with a sofa and 2 armchairs around it. Against the opposite wall there was a table with 2 chairs next to the windows that looked out over the grounds. There were also 3 more doors. One with a Gryffindor crest on, one with a Slytherin crest on and one that led to the bathroom.

"I hope you find it adequate." Said Dumbledore

"It's lovely Sir." Hermione replied.

"Yeh I guess." Said Draco.

"I'm pleased to hear that." Dumbledore told them cheerily. "Now if I could have a word with you Miss Granger in private." Dumbledore said. Hermione nodded.

"Of course Professor." She replied calmly following him back outside into the corridor.

"I wanted to tell you in person how deeply sorry I was to hear about your parents." He said once they were outside.

_Oh great! So this is going to be one of those chats._

"To lose ones parents at such a young age is a tragic occurrence. No one would blame you if you were finding it hard to cope Miss Granger," he continued, "and with your new role as Head Girl I don't want you to feel as though you have too much placed on your shoulders.

"I don't. I'm fine Professor, honestly. In fact I'm glad to be back at school if anything." She told him.

"Aah yes. As it so happens, Molly Weasley contacted me about the concerns she has had for you while you have been at the Burrow. She's worried that you're isolating yourself, that you're not eating properly. She's concerned that you are not coping well. That perhaps you might struggle with your position as Head Girl."

"What!" A burst of anger shot through Hermione. "How dare she! I can assure you Professor I'm coping perfectly well. Yes, maybe I've missed a few meals but I'm sure you'll understand that I haven't quite felt up to loving family meals under the circumstances. And as for coping with being Head Girl. I've worked my butt off over the past 6 years for this! You can't take it away from me!" Hermione was raging.

"Miss Granger calm down. No one is suggesting taking Head Girl away from you. And you mustn't take this the wrong way. Molly thinks of you as a second daughter. She doesn't want you to lose Head Girl, she is merely worried that _you_ may feel like it's too much to cope with on top of everything else."

"But I don't feel like it's too much, so there's no need for anyone to worry." She was struggling to keep her voice calm.

"Hermione you must never feel like you are on your own. There are so many people around that care for you. Harry, Ron and Ginny to name but a few. You must also know that my door is always open if you need to talk. It's a difficult thing talking through your problems but I believe people in the muggle world use the saying 'A problem shared is a problem halved'. I think it would be wise to remember this saying."

"Thank you Professor. May I return to the common room now."

"But of course. I bid you and Mr Malfoy goodnight." He said before leaving.

Hermione tried to hold in her rage as she stepped back into the common room and slammed the portrait shut. But she had seen red the moment Dumbledore had told her that Mrs Weasley had gone behind her back.

"She had no right to interfere." Hermione was muttering to herself.

"Who didn't?" Draco was sat on the sofa one arm draped lazily over the side.

"I wasn't talking to you Malfoy." She spat.

"First sign of madness, talking to yourself you know." He told her in an amused voice.

"Argh, why don't you just go away?!" She said annoyed.

No. It's my common room too."

"You know what Malfoy. I'm fed up of you already."

"And you think I'm enjoying putting up with you." He said sarcastically.

"I'm going to leave now because you're a boy and you can't help it that you weren't blessed with many brain cells." She huffed.

"Screw you mudblood." He no longer found this amusing.

"You already did! Remember." She said before storming to the door of her bedroom.

Hermione felt so angry and betrayed. Mrs Weasley had spoken to Dumbledore about her.  
_  
How could she! What if he'd taken Head Girl away from me?_

Fair enough she wasn't really coping that well. Even she could admit that to herself. But if anything being Head Girl was going to be a welcome distraction. She had been hoping for the past 2 weeks as she'd laid in bed that once she was back at school, things would start to feel more normal.

Being back at Hogwarts hadn't had the immediate affect she had hoped for, she was still feeling as confused and devastated as ever. She knew that she couldn't really be angry at Mrs Weasley. She had only spoken to Dumbledore because she was so worried. She remembered his words;

'She sees you as a second daughter'

This brought tears to Hermione's eyes. Tears for the parents she no longer had. But also tears for the people who had practically accepted her as a daughter for years; those who she'd spent 2 weeks avoiding. She thought of Harry, Ron and Ginny and the look on their faces when she shouted at them about leaving her alone when they were only concerned that she wasn't taking care of herself.

She sat down on her bed, taking a proper look around her new room. She had a large bed with a wooden headboard. She was sat on a red and gold comforter. There was a wardrobe and desk on either side of a door that she assumed led to the bathroom.  
She'd certainly be comfortable living here.

_Apart from the fact that Malfoy will be sleeping next door._

To say she'd been shocked when he'd walked into the heads compartment was an understatement. He hadn't been the last person she'd expected to be Head Boy, Crabbe and Goyle were still there after all. He certainly wouldn't have been top of her list of likely candidates though. But then he'd pointed out that his grades were best next to hers. This was true, but he was Malfoy. Surely he'd carried out enough rule breaking offences not to be considered. It came to mind how many rule breaking offences she had carried out though and they'd still chosen her.

If she was honest with herself she felt awkward. Every time she looked at him she got flashbacks of that night. It made her cringe just thinking about it. Arguing with him distracted from that, but she wasn't sure she wanted to argue with him. He'd suggested ignoring each other. It wouldn't be easy when they were living next to each other, but it must have taken a lot for him to call this truce of sorts. She also knew that he was right when he said it was the best thing to do.

She knew he hadn't had an easy summer either; had seen the bruises on his body. She didn't know what had happened after she'd left the Leaky Cauldron. She wandered whether he had returned home too, whether the affect of waking up and remembering had made him run home like it had her. She didn't want to talk to him about it, yet she had thrown it in his face twice already in the space of a few hours.

He was obviously trying to forget about it. So why couldn't she too. She was going to make an effort to stay away from him.

No more shouting

No more arguing

And definitely no more waking up next to each other.

**************************************************

A/N: Ok I have to say in my defense that I really wanted to avoid the whole head students sharing a dorm cliche but it just worked for this story so I had to go with it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6- Memories in a Photo Frame**

It was the end of the first week back at school. Draco was sitting on his own in the courtyard. It was nearly deserted bar a couple of first years and a group of 6th year girls who kept looking in his direction.

Draco had settled back into school life easily, grateful to be away from his Father. They'd spent most of the lessons this week going over what they would be learning this year. Needless to say however there were still some teachers such as Snape and Binns who hadn't hesitated to give them homework.

In the grand scheme of things there wasn't much point in him doing his homework, not when his fate upon leaving school was already decided, but it was either do homework or sit and wallow in self pity. He'd managed to complete most of his already. It wasn't like he had any distractions from it, like friends for example.

He sighed. He'd always been popular in his first few years at school, but now most people had grown apart from him. There were people like Crabbe and Goyle who knew of his defiance in fulfilling his Fathers wish for him to become a Death Eater. Of course they could never understand it. They had no other opportunities. Not that they wanted them anyway, they saw it as the utmost honour to follow in their Father's footsteps, as Draco once had.

The problem was that he didn't, not anymore. His life would be a whole lot easier if he did. Over the years he had come to realise that his Father was not this brave clever man as he had always thought but merely a coward who desperately followed the orders of, let's face it, a complete psychopath because that's what Voldemort was.

It wasn't that Draco didn't understand why his Father tried so heartedly to please the Dark Lord. It was through fear and an unfailing need for acceptance. Draco knew the fear too, of course he did, and he knew what was coming to him if he didn't join them but he had started to accept his fate now.

He still had nightmares about the things he had seen Voldemort and the Death Eaters do. At first Draco had tried to convince himself that he would be able to do these things too. But the more nights he woke up in a cold sweat having dreamt of innocent people being cursed, humiliated and killed had made him realise that he couldn't; would never be able to.

Draco Malfoy was a coward. Only he was a different sort of coward to his Father. Lucius Malfoy was willing to carry out all of those horrific things where as Draco was willing to end up dead before he did them. He would take the easy way out because he'd be living no life if he gave in and became a Death Eater. It would be a half life, sullied by the memories of all the things he had never wanted to do, all the things he would never be able to forget or forgive himself for.

Maybe that was why he'd never fought back against his Father, because he knew what was coming in the end. He had learnt to block the physical pain, it barely even bothered him anymore, there were potions to deal with that. It was the emotional side that Draco found hardest to deal with. Being male he wasn't good at dealing with any more serious emotions and this certainly wasn't an exception.

He had always been closer to his Mother as he had always spent more time with her. She adored him and had lavished him with love and cuddles and praise as a child. His Father was the opposite. Draco was sure that his Father _did_ love him but it was never shown, not in the conventional way at least. His Father believed that he shouldn't be over praised, hence why Draco was criticised so much, everything he did could always have been done better. He had never hugged him, Draco wasn't sure his Father had ever even held him as a baby.

His Father's idea of love was to buy Draco everything he wanted. He'd always had the best of everything, the nicest clothes, the fastest broom. When he was younger Draco had bragged about everything he had, but looking back he realised that his Father had simply been buying his affection. Sealing the deal that would make Draco become a Death Eater. Only it hadn't worked, he wouldn't be bought.

He was drawn from his thoughts by someone behind him.

"What do you think you're doing there Malfoy." Came a stern voice.

Getting ready to defend whatever it was he was supposedly doing he turned around only to be faced with Blaise.

"You're funny Zabini." He muttered.

"Cheer up, it might never happen." Said Blaise.

"Probably will though."

"I see you're as cheerful as you were during the summer."

"I haven't got a lot to be cheerful about." Draco told him.

"Things still bad with your Father then?" Blaise asked.

Draco nodded.

"I'm sorry mate. It sucks that things have to be like this for you. I still say you should talk to Dumbledore."

"No way. I'll die before I betray my Father to him."

"I'm not talking about betraying him. Just getting protection for yourself." Blaise suggested.

"There's no point Blaise. My Father would never give up until he found me and had me killed."

Blaise was silent for a few moments.

"Well then if that is what's facing you after Hogwarts then you should make the most of your last year here then. I mean look those girls can barely take their eyes off you." He motioned to the 6th year girls across the courtyard

Draco inwardly sighed. A year ago perhaps he would've been more interested in picking up girls. He could have been selfish and done that now, but he didn't want to give any of those girls hope; hope that he could be their boyfriend or whatever because every breath he took was marked and counted for.

The only girl he had been near recently was Granger and that had been different. There'd been no hope there. That it was a one night stand had been the point. He was certainly sure she was harbouring no hopes that anything else would happen between them. They had argued the first night they'd been back for a start. Draco didn't think he had the energy to fight anymore, but there was something between Granger and himself. Friction, and when they rubbed each other the wrong way sparks flew. Although the only time they'd rubbed each other the right way sparks had flown then too, if you excuse his pun.

He'd only seen her a couple of times since then this week. Once to sort out the prefect patrol rota and another time when he'd been leaving the bathroom after a shower. That had been an awkward moment. His only attire had been a towel and the blush on her cheeks hadn't passed him by. He might have laughed about it had it not been for the part where she spotted the bruise across his back. It bought back memories of the last time she'd seen bruises splayed across his skin. He was sure it brought back uncomfortable memories for her too. If it hadn't at first Draco had made sure that it did by mentioning her parents. He knew it was a low blow but he didn't want either of them to be reminiscing over _that_ night.

_That_ night was definitely something he didn't plan to repeat. She was still Hermione Granger and he was still Draco Malfoy; to everyone else's eyes at least. In their own separate worlds they were falling apart, but they were both good at putting up masks and that was how it had to be. They would both deal with their own problems separately. Yes, sleeping together had been a good distraction once but it wasn't something that could happen again. Draco had already done enough recently to defy his Father, adding sleeping with a mudblood into the mix certainly wouldn't do him any favours.

"I'm not interested." He told Blaise

"Well if you're not then you won't mind if I go talk to them will you?"

"Like Mother like son eh Blaise."

Blaise laughed and punched Draco in the arm jokingly.

"Enough of that. My Mother goes for men's money and it's certainly not their money I'm interested in." Blaise said as he winked at the 6th year girls.

"Man whore." Draco teased before Blaise walked off to the other side of the courtyard to flirt with the girls.

_On my own again. That about sums up my life _

They had been back for a week. Hermione was throwing herself into school as she always had. Only before it had been all about getting good grades, now it provided a much craved distraction.

Ginny had taken over from Mrs Weasley in watching over Hermione like she was a child. Throughout the whole 6 years she'd been at Hogwarts, no one had ever been bothered if she skipped out on lunch to do research in the library. But now if she did that Ginny would throw a fit, threatening her with bat bogey hexes if she didn't start coming to every meal.

Hermione was sure she'd been talking to the teachers too. McGonagall had cornered her after transfiguration to give her a speech similar to Dumbledore's. Hermione didn't like the feeling that people were keeping an extra eye on her.

She didn't need them to. She hadn't cried in 3 days now. She was still taking dreamless sleep potion, but that was only down to her fears that she would dream of her parents and she'd be reminded of how much she missed them.

Her school work got her through the day and the sleep potion got her through the night, and she had slipped into a steady pattern of denial. As long as she kept this up then she could cope, she wouldn't split apart at the seams.

*****************************************************

Hermione was sat on the sofa by the fire. She was avoiding dinner yet again. She had been planning on going to the library as a certain someone she was trying to ignore also seemed to be skipping dinner. Malfoy however had stayed in his room so she had made the decision to do her ancient runes homework in the common room.

They had ignored each other quite effectively, only having to sit down together once to sort out the prefect patrol rota. There had been one awkward moment on the second day of term. Hermione blushed at the memory.

**Flashback**

Hermione woke up after another night of dreamless sleep. Yesterday had been her first day of lessons and she had found that once her mind was focused on making notes it pushed the other thoughts from her mind. She could only hope today's lessons had the same affect.

Climbing out of bed she grabbed her wash bag and headed for the bathroom. As she entered the bathroom she was met with the sight of Malfoy standing dripping wet with a towel hanging low on his hips. She let out a shriek and dropped her wash bag.

"Really Granger, it's nothing you haven't seen before."

She scowled at this as she bent down to pick up her wash bag.

"You just shocked me, I thought it was empty." She said, trying to avert her eyes from the muscles of his torso and the trail of hair that led down to… _Bad thoughts_ she told herself.

"Well obviously it wasn't," he said as he dried his hair with a towel. "I'm done now anyway so you can come in"

As he turned away she noticed a bruise across his back.

"Malfoy, your back." She gasped.

He froze in place but didn't turn to look at her. He reached down and picked up his shirt before pulling it on to hide the evidence.

"It happened again." She said

"Don't be naive Granger, you honestly think last time was the first time."

"I, I don't know. I guess I hadn't really thought..."

"Look didn't we make a deal not to talk about this." He interrupted.

"No. We made a deal not to tell anyone about it, not that we couldn't talk about it."

"Yeh well I haven't asked about your parents have I." He knew this would make her freeze up and he wasn't let down. It had the desired effect; she quickly shut the door on him before he could say anymore.

**End of flashback **  
She hadn't seen him for the rest of the day after that. This was why she had avoided the common room all week, she wasn't sure why she'd been so shocked about seeing more bruises on him. It wasn't that she'd been naive as he had put it and thought that it had only happened the once. She'd been completely honest when she'd said that it hadn't crossed her mind, she'd had far too much going on in her mind that night. This made her feel slightly selfish, but he obviously hadn't wanted to discuss it then or in the bathroom either.

Every thought towards him that went through her mind was so contradictory that it left her head spinning. She didn't know how she felt about him.

She didn't like him in a romantic way, I mean sure he was good looking but it wasn't all about looks. She didn't really hate him either. They'd got through a whole week with only one proper argument, which had to be some sort of sign that things had changed between them. She just wasn't sure in which way they had changed.

Could she call him an acquaintance? Yes, that was probably closest to what they were now. Although acquaintances usually said hello to each other in passing and she didn't think there'd be any of that between her and Malfoy. Which, quite frankly she was glad about.

The ignoring thing was great as far as she was concerned because her mind was still being invaded with hazy images of the night they'd slept together every time she saw him. The incident in the bathroom certainly hadn't helped that. She found her cheeks growing hot whenever she thought about what they'd done together. She wished they hadn't done it but at the time she hadn't been thinking logically, she had only cared about finding a way to numb the crushing pain that was flooding her and he had been it. Well and the firewhisky too. She now knew that grief mixed in with any sort of intoxicating substance was lethal and a mistake she didn't plan to make again.

Returning her thoughts to the book in front of her. She sat in a comfortable silence. As long as she was thinking about translating runes she wasn't thinking about everything else that had happened in the past 3 weeks. She was drawn away from her homework by a knock at the door. She groaned as she got up to answer it wandering whether it was Ginny coming to drag her down to dinner.

"Hermione." Parvati said cheerily as she opened the door.

"Oh Parvati. Hi." This hadn't been who she had expected.

"I feel like I've hardly seen you yet this year." Parvati exclaimed.

"Oh yeh, sorry I've been really busy, you know Head Girl and stuff." She motioned towards the common room.

"Of course. We're all so proud of you. Talking of that though, Lavender and I were cleaning out our dorm and we found this under your bed."

Parvati handed her a photo frame. Hermione turned it over and felt her heart sink. Staring back at her out of the frame was a picture of her and her parents. She was stood in the middle of them and they both had an arm around her it had been taken when they were on holiday in France a couple of years ago. She remembered all the hours they'd spent visiting various monuments.

Hermione had a lump in her throat. She knew Parvati was probably watching her questioning her reaction, but she felt as though she had been frozen in time, unable to move, unable to breathe. Her throat was constricting as she struggled to hold back the tears and suck in a breath.

"It must have been knocked under there when you left last year." Parvati said trying to coax words out of Hermione.

"Um thanks Parvati. Umm bye." She said shutting the door quickly before Parvati could see her tears.

She was still stood frozen on the spot holding the photo in her hands. She couldn't breathe again, the tears were falling freely on their own. She was sure her lungs were failing for they would not let her draw in oxygen. When she started to feel as though she would pass out she managed to take a deep breath before letting out a strangled cry.

She had been coping so much better since she had been using work as a distraction. The photo frame in front of her had shattered the fragile defences she had built. Now that she had found her breath she couldn't stop the shuddering sobs that were leaving her lips.

She had to get out of there. This was how she had felt at her parent's funeral before she had left. The photo frame dropped from her fingers and fell to the floor leaving jagged lines across the photo where the glass had cracked before she pushed the portrait open and ran out.

*****************************************************

Draco was sat at his desk completing his homework when he heard a knock at the door. He listened as the door was opened and a girly voice droned through.

_Probably the she-weasel here to stalk Granger again _  
He shook his head hoping he wasn't about to be privy to a girly heart to heart when he heard the door shut again. A few seconds later he heard an awful noise, a cry. He didn't think he'd ever heard anyone make a sound so filled with hurt and emotion. He sat listening to the cries, he wandered if she was alone, he couldn't hear anyone trying to calm her down.

He felt torn; his head was telling him that it definitely was not a good idea to go out there. What would he even do if he did? There was a part of him though that wanted to make this crying stop, but he wasn't the sort of person who was used to dealing with people crying.

His legs made the decision for him as he heard a smash. He shot up from his chair and pulled open the door that led to the common room just as the portrait slammed shut. He noticed something on the floor by the door. As he got closer he realised it was a photo frame. The glass was cracked but he could still make out the picture inside. It was of Granger, a couple of years younger than she was now. The people stood on either side of her were obviously her parents. This was what had upset her. He tucked the picture inside his robes and ran out the door after her. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7- Progress Comes in the Break Down**

Hermione didn't know where she was heading, she was running down the marble staircase in the entrance hall. She was aware that Malfoy was behind her. She had wandered if he was following her but decided that he couldn't be unless of course he was planning on taunting her. She really hoped he wasn't, she couldn't take anymore kicks from this day.

She found herself heading out of the front doors and into the grounds. She revelled in the fresh air which lessoned the suffocating feeling she felt in her chest. She looked out towards the dark glittering abyss that was the black lake shimmering in the early evening moonlight. She had taken Harry there once when he'd been having a difficult time in the 4th year. She chose this as her destination but was stopped in her tracks as she realised Malfoy was still behind her.

_He is following me_

"What part of ignoring don't you understand Malfoy." She yelled as she span on her heel to face him. "Go away!"

"What, so you can chuck yourself in the black lake?"

"I'm not going to do anything stupid." She said turning her face away from him.

"Like you did _that _night, you mean?"

"What?" She turned to look at him again.

"Isn't this what you've been dying to say all week? How I took advantage of you."

"GET over yourself Malfoy" She shouted. "Not everything is about you!"

"But it bothers you though, what we did."

"My parents are DEAD Malfoy! They're gone, and you know what sleeping with you did take the pain away even if it was just for one night. You're right though I do regret it. But that isn't what this is about now though so just leave me alone!"

"I didn't leave you last time."

"And look where that led." She hated how weak her voice sounded through her tears.

"I saw the picture you dropped."

"So what? Why did you follow me? Thought you'd try you're luck again did you?"

"No," he scoffed. "I don't know why I followed you." He reached into his robes and pulled out the photo frame.

"Reparo." He muttered before handing it back to her.

She took it slowly and felt her body reduce to shaking sobs again. Her cries filled with pain as she broke down. Strong arms wrapped around her as Malfoy held her while she cried. Eventually her cries subsided until she was taking ragged breaths as she gripped her fists in his robes. He didn't speak, just held her. After a few moments he heard her voice from his shoulder.

"I wish it was as simple as casting a reparo spell. I wish I could make it all repair itself; have my parents back."

"But nothing can bring them back, you know that." He said as he pulled away from her. "I'm not going to tell you that it'll all be ok, cos what do I know? And you know I don't care about you so I'm going to be truthful with you. I think you need to talk to someone. Even I've noticed how desperate your friends seem to be about helping you. And there are the teachers; I'll admit that Dumbledore's slightly mental but your lot seem to trust him enough. You can't go on like this, I think you know that."

He had said pretty much the same as her friends had. Somehow though when it came from him it made more sense. Like he said he didn't care for her; didn't really have any reason to want her to feel better. He was just telling her straight what she should do. She couldn't explain the urge she had to just tell him everything she was feeling. Perhaps it was because his reaction would be different to her friends. He certainly wouldn't treat her with kid gloves to protect her. Taking a deep breath she started to talk.

"I'm so torn with emotions all the time. I finally started to feel as though I was handling things and then I saw the picture and it felt as if I'd just been told all over again. I was doing so well distracting myself with work and now I feel like I'm back at square one.

When Draco had suggested she talk to someone he really hadn't meant himself. But now she had started he found he didn't have the heart to stop her. She looked more broken than he'd ever seen her, even the night at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Hiding away from your problems isn't going to make them go away." Draco was a hypocrite, a big hypocrite; he'd spent the whole summer avoiding his problems.

"It made it easier to get through the days though. I miss my parents so much I feel like I could suffocate under it. When I was using work as a distraction I could pretend that none of this had ever happened; that they weren't gone. I don't know how I'm ever gonna be able to let them go. "

"You don't have to. They'll always be your parents whether they're dead or alive." He replied.

"This was all my fault though, do you understand that. They would never have been in the car if it wasn't for taking _me_ to London."

"It was an accident Granger. It could have happened anywhere else they might have been that day."

"But it didn't, did it. I feel like I don't know where to turn. I keep pushing Harry, Ron and Ginny away. They're so desperate for me to talk to them, and I want to so badly but something stops me every time."

"Yeh well, I don't think much of them but they're your friends. It's obvious they love you. At the end of the day are you really gonna feel worse than you do now if you talk to them?"

"Probably not." She sniffed.

"I'm not saying that losing your parents isn't awful, no one deserves that, not if they love them. But you're lucky, you know that. You have friends who care about what happens to you and take you into their family without a second thought." He took a deep breath, why he was being this honest he didn't know. "You talked about my Slytherin cronies that night at the Leaky Cauldron but I don't even have those anymore. Crabbe and Goyle can't wait to join the Death Eaters and Pansy's off dating Theo Nott. The only friend I have left anymore is Blaise. Plus I'm pretty sure my back is proof of how much my Father cares about me."

She had stopped crying now and was watching him carefully.

"You're a better person than he is Malfoy. All these years and all you've done is believe in what he believes in and try to please him. Maybe this has finally made you realise that you're your own person. You don't have to always follow his orders."

"I thought we were supposed to be talking about you."

"You were the one who brought up your Father."

"Well I wasn't expecting that charming psycho-analysis."

In spite of herself, she smiled at this.

"Sorry I thought if you were being honest I would be as well."

"Yeh, except despite what you think, you have a way out of your grief."

"I'm sure if you search hard enough there's a way out for you to."

"I wouldn't count on it Granger. Never underestimate the Dark Lord or my Father."

"I don't." She replied quietly. "But I don't underestimate you either."

He turned to look at her. What she had just said shocked him, there certainly weren't many people who believed in him at the moment. The invisible force that had been there between them at the Leaky Cauldron had returned. They both felt it threatening to pull them closer as they continued to look at each other. By the time Draco managed to pull his eyes away they were both breathing deeply.

"We should go in. It's starting to get cold out." He breathed.

"Oh, yeh right." She replied trying to clear her mind of the fog that had built and gather her thoughts.

Turning away to face the castle, they both made their way inside.

*********************************************

He'd wanted to kiss her; had only just managed to stop himself. To say he'd got caught up in the moment was an understatement.

He didn't know what he'd expected to happen once he followed her. He certainly hadn't done it so he could try his luck with her again as she had suggested. He hadn't been planning anything as he'd followed her down to the black lake.

She'd shouted at him once she realised he was coming after her. He didn't mind this; shouting seemed to distract her from crying. It was certainly an easy way to comfort her.

At least it had been until he gave her the photo. He couldn't remember ever seeing someone break down like she had. Her whole body shaking with cries that seemed to clench at his chest. He'd hesitated at first; unsure if she would freak out more if he tried to hug her. The way she had just stood there in front of him though, looking so helpless and distraught. She hadn't flinched when he'd wrapped his arms around her. She had settled against his chest and tucked her head into his shoulder.

Eventually she'd calmed down enough to talk. That was where it all started to go downhill as far as he was concerned. She'd started pouring her heart out to him and he'd found himself giving her advice. Obviously he needed to stop talking to Dumbledore; the senile old man was starting to rub off on him.

As soon as the conversation turned to him he knew alarm bells should have been ringing in his head but they hadn't. He was surprised at how easy it had been to talk to her. He hadn't let his guard down though; no one could make him do that. He'd been honest in what he _had_ said though.

She'd told him that she didn't underestimate him. _That_ was why he had nearly kissed her. It was all her fault. No one had ever told him that. _He_ didn't even have that hope in himself. It felt stupid to say that she had given him some of that hope, not when his situation didn't have any. It didn't make a difference who believed in him but it was still nice to know that someone, even the girl he had been taught to hate all of his life, did.

That still didn't make it ok that he had felt a burning need to kiss her. They were in two totally different worlds. Eventually she'd get over her grief and would probably go on to lead a happy, successful life. Where as he, no matter how high Granger's expectations of him were, would be a marked man as soon as he left Hogwarts and didn't become a Death Eater.

**********************************************  
Hermione woke up the next morning with a more positive outlook than she had felt in weeks. Her conversation with Malfoy the night before had struck a chord, however she was strictly blocking out the over-whelming urge she had had to kiss him.

She knew she had to change. She wasn't the only person with problems at the moment. Malfoy had his Father and Harry pretty much had the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. Feeling sorry for herself definitely wasn't helping anyone especially not herself. Her break down last night had given her a reality check on using distractions as a defence mechanism to help her cope. Distractions would only work as long as nothing came along to break them, and last night something had. The photo had crumbled her defences and brought every emotion she had kept locked up inside crashing out full force. She hated to admit that Malfoy had helped her, but he had been honest and truthful with her. He hadn't treated her as though she was a fragile doll that would break apart in his hands, and maybe that was what she had needed. Although she couldn't deny that when he'd held her in his arms she had been comforted. She was reminded of the more gentle Malfoy she had met in the Leaky Cauldron, he had still been sarcastic and brutally honest but in that gesture she saw the side of Malfoy she knew that very few others had ever seen. She had placed the photo on her bedside table. Malfoy had been right, they would always be her parents and burying her head in the sand just wouldn't work anymore.

She felt hungrier than she had in days. Making the decision to go to the hall for breakfast, she climbed out of bed and pulled on her school uniform.

*******************************************

The hall was just starting to get busy when she entered. She spotted Harry, Ron and Ginny at the Gryffindor table and made her way over to them.

"Morning." She said sitting next to Harry.

"Morning." They replied.

Without looking at them she started to fill her plate. When it was full she picked up her knife and fork and started to eat her scrambled eggs on toast. Harry, Ron and Ginny all turned to look at her with hopeful expressions on their faces. Ron had even stopped eating, his fork held in midair, bacon hanging precariously off the end.

"Are you ok, Hermione?" Ginny asked.

Hermione looked up and nodded sending her friends a small smile before going back to eat. The looks on their faces said it all, they shone with relief. Ginny looked like she was fighting the urge to jump in her seat. This may only have been a small step but seeing her friends reaction made it feel like a huge step. Hermione decided this was the most normal she had felt in a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8- The Consequence**

_October 23rd__  
_  
It was now the nearing the end of October. Hermione had made progress during the last month. The afternoon after she had first started eating breakfast again she went to see Dumbledore. It was something Malfoy of all people had suggested down by the lake. He'd pointed out that she trusted Dumbledore and he was right. After all Dumbledore had said his door was open if she needed to talk.

So that was where she had found herself. She thought back to that afternoon as she'd sat outside Dumbledore's office.

**Flashback **  
Hermione was outside the Headmaster's office. She was sat awkwardly on a wooden chair. Her hands were gripping the underside of it, her nails digging into the wood. She knew what she had to do but she couldn't help but feel nervous.

She had arranged a meeting with Dumbledore at 4:00. It was now 3:55. She sat listening to the clock on the wall ticking. Her breaths following the steady flow of tick and tock. It was around this time of day she'd usually have found herself consumed in her homework or reading the mountain of books she had borrowed from the library in the event of completed homework. It was her perfect distraction, but it could be no longer. She had fallen apart the previous night and now she had to start building herself back up.

The clock continued to tick until the time read 4 o'clock. She stood on shaky legs before knocking on the door.

"Come in." Dumbledore called.

She pushed open the door and walked in.

"Ahh Miss Granger." He greeted. "You needed to see me."

"Umm Yes." She stood with her back against the door unsure of how to start this conversation.

She had felt brave and hopeful this morning but now she felt like a quivering wreck again.

"Do take a seat. Now, what was it that you wanted to talk about?" He asked as she came to sit in the chair opposite him.

"Well, you see…" Hermione felt a tear trickle down her cheek; she quickly raised her hand to wipe it away.

"It's ok Miss Granger. Take your time." Dumbledore encouraged.

"Well the thing is I'm… I'm not coping" She whispered as more tears fell. "I know I said that I was but I was just distracting myself from everything that was really going on and I know I can't keep doing that. I'm sorry Sir I know I'm Head Girl and I'm sure everyone expects me to be handling this better." She tried to keep her voice steady hoping that she'd sound as though she at least had some control left over herself.

"Not at all, you have nothing to apologise for. Head Girl or not you are still human. You've suffered a devastating loss that even some people twice your age have not had to deal with." Dumbledore told her. "You know I myself had lost both my parents by a young age too. I tried to do what was right. I tried to be the one to stay home and take care of my brother and sister. My reaction was to… well lets just say I lost my way a little."

There was a definite sadness behind his eyes. Hermione wandered if he was reminiscing over a lost youth or if the devastation of losing his parents still had the power to let his emotions seep through his eyes, even after all this time. Is that how it would be for her? Would she never get over the loss? She'd never forget it she knew that much, but what if this were her life from now on? No, she wouldn't allow it to happen. She knew that somewhere inside her was the determination to deal with all these feelings. She was willing to try anything because as harsh as it sounded life did have to go on, she couldn't let grief control her and she couldn't let distractions console her.

"We're not here to discuss me though. You say you've been distracting yourself?"

"Yes, with homework and books. I thought that as long as I kept my mind focused on them then I wouldn't have to think about my parents. Not that I don't want to think of them." She added in quickly not wanting to seem heartless. "It's just that I _can't_ think about them, not without breaking down in tears. But I know I can't go on like that, I love my parents and I miss them so much I want to be able to think about them, to remember them."

"All of this is a perfectly natural reaction Miss Granger. Admitting you need help is often the hardest thing, but no one will think any less of you for it. I have said it before but you have many friends who care greatly about you, who I'm sure are willing to help you."

"I know." She said quietly. "Harry, Ron and Ginny are always saying how I can talk to them anytime about anything. But sometimes I think telling the truth about how I feel would only make them worry more."

"Sometimes the ones we care about the most are the hardest to be honest with. You have realised however that you do need someone to talk to. Perhaps a counsellor of some sort?" Dumbledore suggested.

"You think I should see a psychiatrist?" She asked. "I'm not crazy."

"Of course you are not crazy. I was actually thinking of Professor McGonagall. She is your head of house after all. I could arrange for you to have meetings with her."

Hermione thought about it for a moment. Would she be able to talk to Professor McGonagall? Yes, she was sure that she would. She was one of her favourite teachers. While she could be firm, Hermione knew that there was also a side that was kind and understanding.

"Yes Sir I think that would help."

**End of Flashback**

She'd been seeing Professor McGonagall once a week. Talking to someone who didn't patronise her or try to force things out of her but simply listened and gave advice where fit had really helped her to make progress. She hadn't missed a meal in weeks now. She spoke to Harry, Ron and Ginny more and was honest about what she was feeling. She could see now that her 3 weeks in near solitary confinement hadn't helped her, not really. They'd only masked the emotions until they had burst out down by the black lake. She still had bad days, but she finally felt as though she was gaining some control over herself again.

Today however she wasn't feeling in control, not of her body at least. She kept having dizzy spells, she had decided that perhaps her blood sugar was low; she had been feeling nauseous a lot recently. She was sat in the Great Hall next to Ron trying to eat breakfast.

"Are you alright Mi'? You look pale." Ron asked.

"I'm fine. Look I'm going to be late for class." She got to her feet and left to go to her first lesson. She wasn't quite as fine as she'd made out, her head was spinning and her vision kept blurring. But her friends had only just stopped worrying about her; the last thing she wanted was for anyone to panic. She was thankful it was Friday though; at least she only had to get through the rest of this day before the weekend.

Arriving in Arithmancy she took a seat at the front. She saw Malfoy at the back of the classroom sat next to Blaise Zabini. Professor Vector had just arrived and was starting to talk about the lesson. Hermione rested her head on one hand and hoped this dizzy spell would pass.

"Today we will be filling out number charts working in pairs; which will be assigned by _me_ before you all start choosing people to work with." Professor Vector was telling the class.

Hermione hoped she was paired with someone capable, she wasn't sure her brain could cope with concentrating on number charts.

"The pairs will be as so,

Susan Bones and Terry Boot

...

Hannah Abott and Blaise Zabini

...

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy"

"What." They both yelled.

"Oh really I thought you'd be over these petty arguments now you're both head students, Now please move to sit next to Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger." Said Professor Vector.

Hermione grudgingly picked up her things and walked to the table at the back, she clutched the other tables for support. She wasn't in the mood for talking to Malfoy today, they'd gone back to ignoring each other and this suited her fine. She felt embarrassed about what had happened down by the lake; how much she'd told him about what was going on in her head, how she'd nearly kissed him. She slid onto the stool that Blaise had just vacated and sat in silence.

"Well this ignoring thing is going to be really successful if we have to work together here too." Said Draco once Professor Vector had set them all to work.

"Seriously Malfoy, I'm really not in the mood right now. I'm not feeling well." She said shakily.

"Now you mention it you do look paler than me for once." He smirked, but as he turned his head to look at her he saw her eyes rolling back in her head before she started to fall backwards. Shooting out an arm, he caught her under her back, her head hanging back.

"Granger?" He said putting his other arm under her head to support it before shaking her. "Uh Professor, we might need some help back here."

"Merlin's beard." Cried Professor Vector as she turned away from the board and rushed over to them. "What happened?"

"I think she fainted." Draco told her.

"Right, move her to lie on the floor. Mr Zabini you can help." She said to Blaise who was sat on the next table along.

Draco and Blaise lowered Hermione to the floor. Blaise stood up immediately but Draco stayed kneeling next to her. Professor Vector joined him as Hermione started to come round.

"Miss Granger. Can you hear me? You fainted." Professor Vector told her.

Hermione was now conscious and trying to push herself up to sit but Professor Vector was pushing her back down.

"Just lie here for a moment. You've had a nasty shock. Goodness if Mr Malfoy hadn't managed to catch you, you could have suffered a serious head injury. Does anyone have anything sugary, any sweets or chocolate?"

Ernie Macmillan pulled a chocolate frog out of his bag and handed it to Hermione. Draco looked up to find Blaise looking at him confusedly. Realising he was still kneeling at her side he jumped to his feet.

"I'm fine Professor." Hermione said.

"No need to worry Miss Granger. Now lets get you sitting so you can eat some chocolate, then you can go to the hospital wing."

"Oh no, I really don't need the hospital wing. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm sure I'll be fine once I've finished this chocolate." She said taking a bite.

"Nonsense Miss Granger. Of course you must go. Healthy young girls do not just faint for no reason."

"Honestly I'm already feeling a lot better, the chocolate is really helping." She said as she finished it.

"That may be so but you must still see Madam Pomfrey." She said as she helped a shaky Hermione to her feet.

"Mr Malfoy?"

"What?" He said in a voice that suggested he had no idea why the Professor was talking to him.

"Well she can't very well go to the hospital wing by herself."

"You want me to take her?"

"Well seeing as you are Head Boy I don't believe you are incapable of handling such a task."

"Fine." He muttered, putting an arm around Hermione's waist and pulling her out of the classroom.

"Why is it always you who catches me when I fall?" She said in a frustrated tone once they were outside.

"Don't be thinking it's because I care about you."

"Trust me I really wasn't." She said as they reached the end of the corridor. "Look you can just leave me here now ok."

"You're going to go to the hospital wing by yourself?"

"No I'm going back to our dorm."

"But Vector said..."

"So," she interrupted, "I don't have to do everything she says. Not when I know all I need is to lie down and maybe have some more chocolate."

"Wow you really must be ill if you're going against a teacher. What do you want me to say to Vector?"

"Wait here for a bit and then go back and say you took me to the hospital wing."

"I didn't realise you had Slytherin tendencies."

"Don't compare me to your lot. I think you know that there's a lot you didn't realise about me." She said before wandering off up the corridor

Draco was left to stare incredulously after her retreating form.

* * *

Hermione had made it back to the Head's common room. She'd had some more chocolate and was now lying down on the sofa resting. She wasn't asleep but her eyes were closed. They shot open when she heard banging on the portrait door.

_Did Malfoy forget the password?_

"Hermione are you in there?"

It was Ginny. Hermione got to her feet and went to open the door.

"Hermione are you ok?" Ginny said as the door was opened, she put a hand on her head checking for a temperature. "I heard you fainted in class. Have you been skipping meals again?"

"What, no! Ginny you've been there with me at all my meals."

"Oh yeh. Well, what's the matter then? Have you been to see Madam Pomfrey?" Ginny asked.

"No, I don't need to I'm fine."

"People who are fine do not just faint." She said slowly as if Hermione was stupid.

"Look I really don't want to go to the hospital wing ok."

"Why? You could be ill."

"I'm sure I'm not." Said Hermione.

"Hermione do you know how ridiculous you're being. There could be something really wrong with you and you wouldn't know cos you're not in the mood for the hospital wing. I mean you could have wand pox or spattergroit or..."

"I'm late." Hermione interrupted.

"What?! You've just fainted and you're worried about being late for class!"

"No. I'm _late_, my _periods_ late." Hermione felt tears building in her eyes.

"Oh." Ginny said with a shocked expression on her face. "You're not... you don't think you're...well pregnant."

"I don't know." Hermione cried, tears now falling down her cheeks.

"Oh my gosh Hermione. When? Who?"

"Please Gin I really don't want to talk about this."

"So that's what you're doing, avoiding it and hoping it'll go away."

"I might not even be..._that._ I mean there could be loads of reasons why my period hasn't come. Stress! I've been really stressed what with everything that's happened."

"Yeh but you also fainted. That's another symptom. It doesn't matter how long you hide from this, it'll still be there."

"I know, alright. But I just want it all to go away."

"All the more reason to see Madam Pomfrey then. She can tell you if you are pregnant or if it's something worse." Ginny reasoned.

"What could be worse than that?"

"You could be dying, I'm pretty sure that'd be worse."

"Not necessarily." Hermione muttered sitting down and hiding her face in her hands.

"When did this happen? Or has there been more than one occasion? I mean, you do know who the father is...if you are..."

"Yes I know who the father is...if I am, which I'm most likely not." She took a deep breath before mumbling, "It was the night I went away after my parent's funeral."

"Really? You came back early the next morning. Who was it?" Ginny asked.

"I don't think I can tell you."

Ginny looked worried.

"It wasn't...you weren't, you know forced."

"Merlin, no." Hermione reassured her.

"Well that's one thing at least. Come on Mi' just tell me who it was, I wont tell anyone."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"It was Malfoy." Hermione sighed putting her face in her hands.

"What!" Ginny gasped. "How did that happen?"

"I really hope you aren't asking me to give you an explanation on the facts of life." Hermione replied looking up at Ginny.

"Of course not, but _Malfoy_? Me and Harry haven't even gone there yet."

"We were both drunk and upset and one thing led to another and I don't know." She rambled as she wiped away her tears. "What do I do Ginny?"

"We're going to go to the hospital wing and get Madam Pomfrey to do a pregnancy test. Then we can work the rest out from there." Ginny told her calmly.

Hermione nodded.

"Good. Well now is as good a time as any, right." Said Ginny.

"I'm scared Gin."

"I know, but it'll be fine. Like you said you might not even be pregnant." Ginny said hopefully.

Ginny pulled Hermione to her feet before making their way out the door.

* * *

Hermione was shaking. She was stood outside the hospital wing with Ginny. She'd never felt more terrified, not even when they'd fought Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries. She had got through that on pure adrenalin and quick thinking; there hadn't been time to panic. But now she was faced with the possibility of having a baby. There were no hexes or curses to avoid and no quick thinking to be done.

What would her parents think if they were alive? If they had known that she was on her way to take a pregnancy test at the age of 17. They'd have been so disappointed in her.

Ginny pushed the doors open and grabbed Hermione's arm pulling her in.

"I think Madam Pomfrey's in her office. Do you want me to stay with you?" Ginny asked.

"Please, I don't think I can do this by myself." Hermione replied as she knocked on the office door.

"Come in." Came Madam Pomfrey's voice.

"Hello." Said Hermione as they walked in.

"Miss Granger, Miss Weasley. Take a seat. Is everything ok?"

"Uhh not really. I...my...umm I..." Hermione stuttered.

"Hermione's missed her period," Ginny cut in sensing the struggle her friend was having, "and she fainted this morning."

"I see. Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?"

"Yes, there's a possibility." Said Hermione quietly, she didn't think she'd ever been more ashamed.

"Well I must say I wasn't expecting you to be coming to me with this problem." Madam Pomfrey said in a matronly voice. "However you aren't the first and I daresay you won't be the last." She said more gently.

Hermione thought she might die, she wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow her up. She had been in the hospital wing for some embarrassing things before, becoming a human cat for example. But the way Madam Pomfrey had spoken to her, with such surprise and pity. Hermione wasn't the sort of girl this happened to.

"There's a simple test we can do. But you know girls of your age can miss periods for many reasons so lets not panic yet. I'll go and get the potion from my store room."

Madam Pomfrey left to find the pregnancy test potion. Hermione turned to Ginny.

"Oh god I can't do this. What will people think if I am? Did you hear Madam Pomfrey, she might as well have told me that I'm the last person she'd expect to end up in this situation." She whispered.

"Hermione calm down. Let's just wait until you've done the test ok." Ginny tried to reassure her.

"Here we are." Said Madam Pomfrey re-entering the room. "Now I'll just need a small amount of blood. If you could hold out your hand?"

Hermione did as she was told. She winced slightly as Madam Pomfrey made a small pinprick on her finger with her wand before squeezing it over the vial of potion. They all watched as the potion immediately turned gold.

_Gold. What does that mean?_

Hermione looked up at Madam Pomfrey.

"Miss Granger, you're pregnant."

Hermione let her head fall forward into her arms that were resting on the table. Ginny put a hand on her back as she broke into uncontrollable sobs. This could not be happening, she could not be having Malfoy's baby. Ginny was rubbing her back. Hermione could hear her saying it was going to be ok from somewhere that sounded far away. From reality perhaps, because she could not be in reality, for things like this didn't happen to girls like her.

But this _was _her reality now. Madam Pomfrey had confirmed her worst fears. She was still dealing with the loss of her own parents. She couldn't be someone's Mother, she wasn't ready.

Madam Pomfrey left the girls alone to let Hermione compose herself. She kept her head in her arms; she couldn't bare to see the gold liquid confirming her fate in the vial. Her mind was starting to settle after the initial shock. Images of muggle abortion clinics shot into her mind. Being muggle-born she'd never really known much about pregnancies in the wizarding world and she'd certainly never had a reason to look it up, well not before now. Perhaps there was a spell or a potion she could take that would make it go away. It wasn't that she didn't want to be a Mother one day; she did, but not now. This had never been part of her plan.

"Hermione. I know this probably feels like the end of the world right now..."

"Feels like! It _is_ the end of the world Ginny. The end of my world at least."

"I can't even imagine how scared you must be, but it'll be ok. We'll all be here for you, and the baby."

"Baby! I'm not keeping it. I can't keep it."

"What? You're going to give it away?"

"No. If Madam Pomfrey can't do anything then I'll go to a muggle clinic."

"What sort of muggle..." Ginny gasped as realization hit her. "You're going to kill it!"

Hermione realised in this moment how sheltered Ginny's life had been at the Burrow, she was from a loving family. Mrs Weasley would never have condoned the idea of terminating a pregnancy; it had probably never been brought up in the Weasley house. Ginny looked utterly shocked.

"Please don't look at me like that. I don't have a choice." Hermione pleaded

"Of course you do! You can't kill your baby before it's even had a chance at life. You're in shock Hermione, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do Ginny, and when Madam Pomfrey comes back in I'm going to ask her about my options."

"No! I won't let you. You have to at least wait a while before you make such a huge decision. I know it isn't an ideal situation." Ginny reasoned. Hermione scoffed at this. "But I think you should take some time to think about this properly. I mean a baby wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I'm sure you could even still finish school. Can you honestly say you wouldn't feel any guilt if you went through with it."

"Of course I would! I'm not that heartless but I'd get over it in time."

"It would consume you Hermione. Think how you felt after your parents died. You blamed yourself then and that was an accident. This would be your decision, you'd never be able to forgive yourself."

Don't you dare bring my parents into this!" Hermione hissed. "You have no idea what I'm going through."

"No I don't, but I want to help. I don't mean to have a go at you Hermione but please just take some time to make a proper decision. Please!" She begged

Hermione was crying once more. Her head was a muddle. She understood why Ginny had gotten angry at her, but she couldn't see how there could possibly be another option.

"Alright, I won't make the decision yet. I'm going to ask Madam Pomfrey what the options are though. I have to know."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9- Decisions**

_October 24th_

It had been a day since she had found out. A day since her world seemed to have been thrown into chaos for the second time in as many months. She thought back to the day before, just after she'd found out.

Madam Pomfrey had come back into her office once Hermione and Ginny seemed to have calmed down. Ginny had been quiet and Hermione noticed that she hadn't been able to look at her when she'd asked Madam Pomfrey about the process of abortion in the wizarding world. She had heard Ginny wince when Madam Pomfrey had described the affect of the potion witches had to take. If Hermione was honest she'd wanted to wince herself, it certainly wouldn't be pleasant or painless by any stretch of the imagination. She had hoped that terminating a pregnancy by magic might have been less traumatic physically than the muggle way. She had been wrong.

Madam Pomfrey had given her a leaflet about it and some vile tasting potion to stop her feeling faint again. Hermione had returned to the heads dorm in silence with Ginny by her side. She'd still been crying softly as they reached the common room; she hadn't even cared about the state she must have looked. She'd had far too much going on in her head. She certainly hadn't been prepared for what had met her upon entering the common room.

**Flashback **

She stopped outside Elphera's portrait and turned to face Ginny.

"Ginny, please can you stay with me tonight. I know you think I'm a heartless cow for even considering doing this," she lifted the leaflet, careful to keep it hidden from Elphera, "but I really need a friend right now." Hermione's voice cracked through the tears.

"Of course I'll stay, and I don't think you're a heartless cow. I think you're just confused and in shock and nobody can blame you for that." Ginny replied calmly rubbing her arm.

"Thank you." Hermione whispered, her voice shaky as she muttered the password and entered the common room.

There on the plush crimson sofa was the last person she could ever hope to see right now. Malfoy was sat with a book on arithmancy on his lap.

"Oh there you are, thought you were coming back here because you were so ill. Or was that all faked to get out of class? I had to finish the number charts by myself you know," he sneered lifting up the book.

Seeing him in person, now her fears had been confirmed, made her feel utterly sick. How had she ended up in this situation with _him_? She didn't care how much better they'd been dealing with each other this year _or_ that he'd helped her down by the Black Lake; If ever there was an argument for getting an abortion he was it.

"Shove off Malfoy can't you see she's upset." Ginny scolded.

"Seriously Granger fainting in class isn't the end of the world. I'm sure you'll manage to catch up on all the thrilling lessons you missed." He teased her sarcastically.

She couldn't reply. If she had opened her mouth she was scared that either a desperate cry would leave her lips or she'd curse him into oblivion for leaving her in this mess. There was a small voice in the back of her head telling her she was a willing participant in the events that had led to this disaster. Her conscience really chose the worst times to come out.

Deciding she couldn't bare to see him any longer- the reminder of what was now growing inside her- she ran from the room. She slammed her bedroom door shut with such force that the objects on the shelf next to it shook. She heard Ginny tell Malfoy he was an idiot. Hermione threw herself down on her bed and cried. She was surprised she had any liquid left inside her to produce anymore tears.

"Hermione, are you ok?" Ginny asked as she entered the room and closed the door behind her muttering a muffliato charm.

"Do you really need to ask that question? Of course I'm not." Hermione cried as she sat up. "I've got _his_," she pointed towards the common room, "spawn inside me. You really still think I should keep this...thing."

"It's not a thing Hermione, it's a baby. And it's not just his you know." Ginny tried to reason as she sat down next to Hermione on the bed. "It'll be your baby. It's not like he would even have to know about..."

"Ginny, please stop talking as though I've decided I'm keeping it." Hermione interrupted. "I might have decided to think about it more but I still think the best option is just to get rid of it and pretend none of this ever happened."

"You'd never be able to pretend that none of this happened, it's your child Hermione whether it's born or not. Didn't you hear how awful that potion sounded?" Ginny asked in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried not to snap back at her friend.

"Yes I heard how awful it sounded, don't you think I know what a big decision this is. I'm terrified Ginny, completely and utterly terrified." Hermione sobbed. Ginny pulled her into a hug and let her cry until she hadn't been able to scrape together the energy to cry anymore.

Hermione was now lying in the darkness of her room, she was curled up in a ball unable to sleep. She stared ahead at the view that was just visible through the cracks in the curtains. From here she could make out the top of the Forbidden Forest with the crescent moon high above it. The quarter moon shone just enough light through the gap of the curtains that she could make out the dark form of Ginny laying on the floor on the mattress she had transfigured for her from a pillow. They hadn't spoken much after her sobs had taken over. She hadn't meant to snap at Ginny but everything had just become too much.

"Ginny, are you asleep?" She whispered into the darkness

"No." Ginny whispered back although her voice sounded on the brink of slumber. "Is everything alright?"

"There's too much going through my head to sleep." Hermione replied weakly. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"It's ok." Ginny said rolling over on her mattress to face Hermione as she was drawn from her state of near sleep. "I can only begin to imagine what you're going through." She sighed. "You could have come to me you now. I mean you must have been worried since last month when you didn't get your period. You didn't have to go through that alone."

"I wasn't worried though." Her voice cracked and she raised a hand to wipe away the tears that had been threatening to spill over as she lay in the dark. "I was so caught up with losing my parents that the thought never even came to me. It wasn't until a week or so ago when I realised I was due on that I even remembered I hadn't had one last month either."

"Even so, you didn't come to me then either." Ginny pressed

"I know but at first I really did just blame stress, and when I started to feel nauseas I put that down to eating more. I didn't want to believe that it could have been anything else."

"I know I got angry earlier but I'm here for you whatever decision you make." Ginny told her gently.

"I know. Thanks Gin." Hermione replied deciding to let her friend sleep as she heard her yawn. She pulled the covers up over her head, certain that sleep wouldn't be claiming her for the next few hours.

**End of flashback**

Hermione was now sat outside Dumbledore's office. She'd received a letter asking her to come to his office after lunch. She knew what it was about. Madam Pomfrey had asked for her permission to tell him of her pregnancy. At first she had wanted to say no; she couldn't think of anything worse than Dumbledore knowing how stupid one of his best students had been. She knew whatever choice she made he'd have to know though. Even if she did have an abortion she would have to go to St Mungo's and it would mean missing nearly a week of lessons.

Either way she was most likely going to be expelled. At the very least they were going to take Head Girl away from her. How had her life come to this? She was taking deep breaths trying to stop herself bursting into tears when she thought about what was to come. She was reminded of the last time she had sat outside Dumbledore's office like this. It had been the time she'd gone to talk to him about losing her parents. She'd been scared then too but for a totally different reason.

"Miss Granger. Thank you for waiting. You may come in now." Dumbledore said as he opened his office door.

She walked into the office to face her fate. She wandered if they'd make her leave right away or whether she'd be given a few days to get herself in order before she left. She wasn't sure which was worse, if she was given a few days she'd have to face people knowing she was being expelled and then there were bound to be awkward questions about why she had to go. She sat on the chair opposite Dumbledore's desk; she couldn't look the old man in the face.

"Well Miss Granger. Madam Pomfrey came to speak to me yesterday, she informed me of your...condition shall we say." Dumbledore stated calmly.

"I'm sorry Sir, I know that I've let the school down and you have to punish me as you see fit and if that means that you have to expel me then I understand." She said quietly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Punish you Miss Granger? While it may be quite a predicament you have found yourself in I see no reason to punish you as you say, assuming as I do that the child was not conceived here at school."

"No Sir." She said shaking her head.

"You have broken no school rules then. I certainly have no reason to expel you." He pondered. "I _have_ called you here to discuss your pregnancy though. I understand that you are unsure whether you want to keep the baby."

Hermione nodded.

"But of course, you are in shock and a decision like this needs time." Dumbledore told her. "I wanted to let you know what your options are should you decide to keep the baby. Madam Pomfrey informs me you would be due around mid May; therefore you would be able to carry on in your lessons until then. And once the baby is born you could take study leave from your lessons while you care for the baby. I have no doubt that you'll be more than capable of still taking your N.E.W.T's along with your friends. You are the brightest witch in your year after all."

"Perhaps if I'd been a little more bright I wouldn't have ended up in this situation." She looked down at her hands.

"Alas it is apparent that that is where this school seems to have failings. Perhaps we need to make sure the contraceptive charm is taught to the students." Dumbledore mused.

Hermione felt ashamed yet again and surprisingly embarrassed; she never thought she'd be sat with Dumbledore discussing the contraceptive charm.

"Would I be wrong in assuming the father is also a student here?"

"Yes he is." Hermione looked up and saw the knowing look Dumbledore was giving her over the top of his half moon glasses. "Oh god it's not Harry or Ron though, I know they would seem like the obvious choice but it isn't." She added in quickly.

"I did not mean to assume, Miss Granger. Will you be informing the boy regardless of your decision?"

"Will I be expected to Sir? I really don't think I can tell him, especially if I don't keep it. I mean there's no need for him to know is there?" She was panicked, what if they made her tell Malfoy?

"It would ultimately be your choice; no one would force you to tell him. I do feel however that it would be prudent to tell him, this child is created from his DNA as well as your own."

"I think that's another decision I need more time for Sir." She said swiftly hoping to draw the conversation away from talk of the father. Why did Dumbledore have to be so wise? Of course he would tell her that it was morally right to tell Malfoy.

"And time is something you have plenty of Miss Granger. Now, you have a visitor who will be arriving here by the floo network in just a moment. I shall leave the two of you alone to talk." He said as he got to his feet.

"A visitor? Who?" She questioned, intrigued.

"You shall see." He said before leaving.

Hermione felt odd being alone in Dumbledore's office. She looked around at the portraits of the previous head teachers on the wall. Some were empty; she noticed that the subjects of the abandoned frames had moved to join portraits nearby; she could hear the whisperings and mumblings that came from them. She was sure they were discussing how she would have been thrown out straight away in their day and how she had let the school down. She didn't have time to dwell on it for long though as a few seconds later the fire burned emerald green. Hermione stood to see who it was.

"Mrs Weasley." She said, surprised.

"Hermione dear." She sounded concerned but her tone was warm. "Ginny owled me about your news."

Hermione's heart skipped a beat; she couldn't believe Ginny had told her mum.

"Don't be angry with her, she was worried about you." Mrs Weasley added in quickly. "She just wanted advice. She thought perhaps you needed someone else to talk to; someone with more experience of pregnancy and babies, so I sent a message to Albus to arrange for me to come and see you."

Hermione was stood frozen on the spot waiting for Mrs Weasley to start shouting at her telling her how disappointed she was.

"I'm not angry. Shocked, yes, but not angry. I'm here to help you not shout at you." Mrs Weasley said recognising the look of fear on Hermione's face.

Hermione let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Tears had started to form in her eyes yet again.

"I'm so sorry Mrs Weasley." She whispered

"Oh Hermione, come here." Mrs Weasley said as she held out her arms.

Hermione ran into her embrace. She let the tears pour out, taking comfort from the hug. This was what she needed. The comfort of a mother's hug. Mrs Weasley may not have been her mother but she was the closest thing she had to one right now.

They stayed like that until Hermione's cries had lessoned, Mrs Weasley rubbed her back soothingly before pulling away.

"Let's sit down, it won't do us any good to stand here all day."

Mrs Weasley flicked her wand and the chairs next to Dumbledore's desk turned to face each other. She took Hermione's hands in hers once they were seated.

"Now, how are you feeling? Any morning sickness? You're must be feeling scared and confused and emotional." Mrs Weasley looked over as if expecting to see physical signs of Hermione's feelings.

"You pretty much described exactly how I'm feeling although I haven't actually been sick yet, mostly just nausea." Hermione sniffed.

"Well all of that is normal. It's exactly what every Mother feels when they discover they're pregnant for the first time. People feel that at any age." Mrs Weasley told her

"Even if they're still in school?" Hermione asked feebly.

"Well while I haven't had that exact experience I can understand becoming a mother at a young age. I hadn't been out of Hogwarts all that long when I became pregnant with Bill you know."

"But you were already married to Mr Weasley and you loved each other."

"That is true, but we were still scared and stepping into the unknown." Mrs Weasley admitted. "Now I'm not going to make your decision for you or ask you to go into details. I won't even ask you who the father is. Although if it's one of my boys I would of course like to know, but I understand if you aren't ready to tell me."

"Don't worry it isn't your grandchild."

"One of my sons may not be the father but of course this baby will be my grandchild." Mrs Weasley insisted

Hermione grimaced.

"Mrs Weasley, Ginny has told you I'm not keeping it, hasn't she?"

"She mentioned that you were confused." Said Mrs Weasley vaguely.

"Is that why she got you to come here? To persuade me to keep it."

"Not at all. She wanted to make sure all the possibilities were clear in your head before you make any decisions." She replied calmly noticing that Hermione was starting to get worked up.

"How disappointed will you be in me if I do decide to get rid of it?" Hermione asked quietly. She found that she couldn't look at Mrs Weasley as she asked this. Mrs Weasley who was the epitome of family and what a Mother should be.

"I wouldn't be disappointed in you. I won't pretend that I think it is the right thing to do. Every child deserves a chance at life. But I would respect your decision. I will stand by you whatever decision you make." Mrs Weasley replied honestly.

"I just don't see any other option. I can't have a baby while I'm still at school. What sort of life could I give a baby? How would I provide for it?" Hermione admitted her fears.

"It is not about the things you give a baby. I think Arthur and I are proof of that. The one thing we've provided our children with more than anything is love, and I don't doubt that you could give that in abundance. You would have support from so many people, Arthur and I, Ginny, Ron and Harry. Dumbledore says you could stay on here till the baby's born and then take study leave. You'd still be able to take your exams and get your N.E.W.T's."

"It's not just those things though. I'm only 17. I don't know how to be a parent I don't even have my own anymore." Hermione's voice had turned shaky as she realised it would have been her own Mother sat here had it not been for the car accident. She wandered what her reaction would have been.

"Nobody knows when it's their first, but you learn. People help you and there are books." Mrs Weasley said, knowing that Hermione had always put her faith in books.

"You're making it all sound as if it's easy. It wouldn't be." Hermione shook her head.

"You're right, it wouldn't be easy, I won't lie to you. But you wouldn't be doing it alone. I mean you'll be living with us at the Burrow once you leave school anyway, whatever decision you make."

"You're being so nice to me. I don't deserve it." Hermione was crying again.

"You're a young girl who made a mistake." Mrs Weasley replied brushing Hermione's hair from her face. "We all make those."

"Most people don't make ones that'll affect them for the rest of their life."

"That's how you'd feel if you decided to keep it. But what about if you don't keep it. Would that affect you for the rest of your life too?" Asked Mrs Weasley.

"I, I don't know. Yes I suppose so. I mean it nearly destroyed me when I lost my parents. But this isn't a real person, not yet, I'm only 10 weeks gone. That's the way I see it at the moment."

"Oh Hermione, even when it's only a bundle of cells inside you, it's what it grows into that matters. You know most of its major organs have developed at this stage, it has a heart, it's only very tiny of course but it beats all the same."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" Hermione's voice was choked from the tears she was crying.

"Of course not dear. I've already told you I'm not here to make your decision for you." Mrs Weasley squeezed her hands in comfort. "I have something for you. I wasn't sure you were ready for it, but I think now is the right time for you to see it. Your Aunt Elaine gave it to me after the funeral but you were in such a state after that I just wasn't sure you'd be able to handle it."

Mrs Weasley reached into her bag and pulled out a book covered in pale pink and yellow paper, there was a border around the edge of the front page of tiny baby footprints; her own she realised as she recognised the picture on the front as herself when she was a baby.

"It's your baby book. Elaine gave me all the photo albums and scrapbooks your parents kept but this one seemed appropriate." Mrs Weasley told her.

Seeing this reminded Hermione of the day Parvati had handed her the photo of her with her parents. She had cried then too as she was now. Only before it had been a break down but now she cried in remembrance. Mrs Weasley had been right she never would have been able to cope with this a month ago.

Hermione opened the first page. There was a picture of her and her mother; she could only have been a few hours old. Her mum looked utterly joyous to be holding the tiny baby in her arms. Hermione continued to turn the pages seeing a list of her first words, her first curly lock of hair, the first tooth she lost and various other pictures depicting her childhood.

She was so caught up in the book that she almost forgot Mrs Weasley was sat across from her. She was brought back to reality when she heard her voice.

"I didn't bring this here to upset you or make you feel guilty. I only wanted to give you the chance to think about all the things you would miss if you gave up this child. I wanted you to realise that no matter how difficult it might be, there will be one thing that will always make it worth it, and that will be your child."

"Thank you for bringing me this Mrs Weasley." Said Hermione as she closed the book and held it to her chest.

"That's ok dear. I should be going now. You take as much time as you need to come to your decision. You know that you can owl any time you need advice or to talk about anything." She said stroking Hermione's tear stained cheek before getting to her feet. She hugged Hermione tightly before moving to the fireplace to floo back to the Burrow.  
Hermione stayed sitting in Dumbledore's office to compose herself. Her head had so many thoughts running through it she thought it might explode. She needed to go somewhere where she'd be able think clearly. She decided to go to the one place that had always calmed her.

* * *

Hermione was in the Library. She had gone to a table right at the back where some of the oldest books were kept. Hardly anyone ever came back here; she had discovered that during the many hours of studying and research she had done over the years. It smelt of dust and old parchment back here, the familiar smell of the Library comforted her.

She was sat at the table with the baby book in front of her when she heard footsteps behind her.

"I thought I'd find you in here. How are you?" Ginny asked apprehensively .

"I should be angry at you for telling your mum." Hermione replied.

"I know. I'm really sorry ok. I didn't know what else to do." She admitted. "Are you really angry at me?"

"No," Hermione sighed, "Not really, I understand why you did it. Actually it was kind of helpful to talk to her."

"That's good. That's all I wanted, someone for you to be able to talk to who understands better than I do." Ginny sounded relieved as she sat down at the table. "What's that?" She asked motioning to the book in front of Hermione.

"It's my baby book. Your Mum brought it with her, my Aunt Elaine gave it to her."

Ginny turned the pages and looked through everything the pages held.

"Aww you were a cute baby. Does it feel any clearer in your head now?"

"Not really. If anything I'm more confused. I was so sure that I wanted to get rid of it but now I have no idea what to do. Did you know it already has all its major organs? Its heart and everything." Hermione said quietly.

"No I didn't. So it's like a proper little baby you've got in there."

"Look Gin don't get excited, I haven't made my choice yet. I just have another option to think about now. You know Dumbledore says I can stay on here and take study leave before my exams. It just means that getting an abortion isn't the only realistic option anymore."

Ginny nodded reluctantly.

"Did Dumbledore say anything else?" She asked

"He thinks I should tell the father. Obviously I didn't tell him that it was Malfoy." She said the last word as a whisper just in case their conversation wasn't as private as they thought in the back of the Library. "He pretty much pointed out that this child is half his. That thought terrifies me."

"But there's no reason to tell him. It not like you wouldn't have enough people to help you if you did decide to keep it. I mean he's not likely to be supportive is he?" Ginny reasoned.

"Exactly, and if I don't decide to keep it there definitely isn't a reason to tell him. There's no need to disrupt his life with it."

"Some might say that that's kind of generous of you. You know to be thinking of him right now."

"Yeh well maybe I've seen a side of Malfoy that he doesn't show very often." Hermione replied trying to sound as vague as possible.

This intrigued Ginny but she didn't ask questions, she had more pressing matters.

"So you're honestly going to consider keeping it then." Ginny said hopefully. "You know I think you'd be such an amazing mum and I'd babysit all the time and everything."

"I know you would Ginny, but this is a big decision, probably the hugest I've ever had to make. I feel as though I'm torn in 2 directions. I just need to think it all through properly."

* * *

_2 Days Later…_

Hermione lay on a cold hard hospital bed at St Mungo's wearing a hospital gown. She could feel icy metal bars behind her head where her pillow didn't reach. She had only ever been to St Mungo's once before in her life when Mr Weasley had been attacked by Voldemort's snake. It had seemed warmer then, perhaps it had been the people surrounding her then, those who she knew and loved creating a warm atmosphere around her. Now there was no one; no one that she recognised at least. Strange faces of Healers she'd never met kept passing her bed, frowning disapprovingly.

Hermione started to shiver; she wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't like it here. This wasn't like the hospital wing where the beds were relatively comfortable; there was no comforting face like Madam Pomfrey's. She was alone and she hated it.

2 Healers approached her bed. There was a man with black hair and a rotund stomach. He had a moustache and his brown eyes were round and seemed manic as he smiled down at her. The other was a woman. She was older with greying hair pulled back in a tight bun, her cheek bones were hollow with cold blue eyes set above them. She did not smile at Hermione. They both wore healer robes and Hermione noticed a vial of deep purple liquid in the female healer's hand.

"This will hurt." The woman said simply. Her voice was as cold and hard as her eyes were.

Hermione felt the rotund man place his hands on her shoulders. She closed her eyes as the woman poured the liquid into her mouth. It was hot and seared at her throat. She tried to choke it up but found that her mouth was covered by the bony hand of the female healer. As the potion settled into her body she felt her stomach erupt in pain. She started to thrash on the bed but the arms on her shoulder held her steadily. She tried desperately to scream but the hand over her mouth muffled any sounds she was making. Her abdomen felt as though it was burning, she prayed for unconsciousness to claim her.

The room around her started to fade. She expected everything to turn black, sure that she was finally being pulled under. Instead everywhere around her became a bright brilliant white. The healers holding her down disappeared and the pain started to dissipate. The only thing she could make out was herself and the bed she still lay in. Everything else had gone. She wandered what this new place was; how on earth she had ended up here. Just as the thought came to her mind she noticed a small figure a few metres away. It was small, a child she suspected, it couldn't have been older than around 4 or 5. It stood facing away from her, all Hermione could make out was the soft blond curls that fell down its back. She realised it was a girl when she saw the white dress the child was wearing that fell to her ankles.

"Hello." Hermione called out to her. She expected there to be an echo in such a bright white room but there wasn't. "Do you know where we are?"

The child slowly turned around and Hermione gasped when she saw the girls chocolate brown eyes. Her hand flew to cover her mouth; she knew those eyes. They were her own. The little girl walked towards her bed. She walked so gracefully that she appeared to be almost floating as her dress flowed behind her. With her white dress and light blond hair there seemed to be a glow emanating from her as she glided through the gleaming whiteness. Hermione sat back on her bed and pulled her knees closer to her. Somehow she knew that the girl meant no harm; she was not meant to fear her. Hermione couldn't help but feel terror rising in her though as she took in this situation.

"Who are you?" Hermione's voice trembled as the little girl reached the foot of her bed standing a metre away so that Hermione could see her.

"Why did you do it Mummy?" The girl asked in a tiny frightened voice.

Hermione's breath came in short puffs as she realised she had recognised this child all along. That was why she had not feared it, this was her child.

The little girl started to cry and Hermione felt a burning urge to reach out and hold her. She wanted to cradle her to her chest and make those tears stop.

"Mummy please don't let them take me." The girl was crying more now and Hermione reached out to the child but found that she couldn't leave the bed. She was trapped.

"Mummy please." The little girl cried frantically as invisible hands started to pull her away. "Mummy!"

Hermione screamed and cried as she tried to reach the terrified child. Her hands were stretched out in front of her as the small girl was pulled further away struggling and fighting at whatever was holding her.

"Come back!" Hermione screamed "Please bring her back!

As the little girl finally disappeared Hermione woke with a start. She sat up in bed and clutched her chest. She was breathing heavily and tears were streaming down her cheeks. As she looked around and took in her surroundings she realised she was in her own bed at Hogwarts. Her room was still dark; it was the middle of the night. She was not at St Mungo's, she'd never been there. It had all been a nightmare. She shook as she remembered how real it had seemed. She still felt the burning need inside her to help the child; her child, she could still feel terror running through her veins. She nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a knock at the door.

"What the hell are you doing in there Granger?" Draco called.

"Umm nothing." She replied coming back to her senses as it sunk it that none of it had been real, she was still pregnant. "Just a nightmare."

"Well could you at least have the common decency to cast a silencing spell on yourself if you're going to insist on waking up screaming like a banshee?" He huffed.

She heard him return to his room and slam the door. She sunk back under her covers and tried to get her breathing to return to normal as she realised she faced yet another night where she would barely sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10- Of Parties and Confessions **

_October 31st _

She was going to keep it.

It had taken her a week to come to her decision. The nightmare had shaken her; it had remained stuck in her head. Whenever she considered the option of getting an abortion now flashes of the dream shot through her mind; the pain she had felt searing through her stomach, the desperate pleas of the little girl, the feeling of having lost something as she had been pulled away. The more she thought about it the less she could stomach the thought of terminating her pregnancy.

She had started to think of the foetus growing inside her more as an actual baby, she knew that as soon as she stepped into that territory it would be near impossible to consider killing it. The minute she started to think of it as a real person was always going to lead her to the point where there was no turning back. She had spent time looking through her baby book. She wandered whether it would look like she had as a baby? She wandered whether it would grow up to look like the child her mind had created in her dream? That child was beautiful, she had had her eyes but the rest had been all Malfoy, this terrified her. Yet for all that the child had looked like him it hadn't lessoned the feelings she had felt in her nightmare; it hadn't lessoned the need to try and reach the child and comfort her. Hermione was scared and intrigued all at the same time and it made her head spin.

All of this had set her decision in stone. She couldn't kill her baby; she couldn't give it up, no matter who the father was. Ginny had been relieved when Hermione had told her; breaking into a fresh batch of promises to be there for her and help with anything she needed.

Today was October 31st, Halloween. She was about 11 weeks gone now. She had just woken up and was certainly feeling scary. In the past few days she'd been sick a couple of times resulting in quick rushes to the nearest bathroom praying that they would be empty. She had hoped she'd be able to skip the sickness part of pregnancy and just suffer through the nausea. She lay in bed for a few minutes before the nauseas feeling she'd put down to low blood sugar in the past few weeks set in. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth willing the churning in her stomach to settle. She turned over before realising it wasn't just nausea; she was going to be sick. She threw off her covers and ran to the bathroom.

She felt awful as she knelt on the freezing floor of the bathroom; the shock of having left the comfort of her warm cosy bed for this made her shiver instantly. The sound of retching filled the room and echoed off the walls as she brought up what little was left in her stomach. Her cheeks were now flushed pink yet she continued to shake. So this was what Mrs Weasley had been talking about when she'd mentioned morning sickness. However Hermione was slightly grateful that she only seemed to be getting it now, she'd read that some women suffered with it right from a few weeks in. She flushed the toilet and rested her cheek against the cold wall of the bathroom before closing her eyes. This soothed the heat that had built in her cheeks and helped rid her of the fading feeling of nausea. She was drawn out of her reverie by a knock at the door.

"Granger?" It was Malfoy.

Her heart seemed to skip a beat, as it had done every time she'd seen him since she had found out she was pregnant.

"Yeh." She replied.

"Oh you are still alive in there then."

"Unfortunately for you." She muttered under her breath.

"First you wake me up the other night screaming like you were facing a dementor attack and now you wake me up puking your guts up. Is it really necessary for you to do so?" He moaned.

"Yes Malfoy, it is necessary." She said huffily. "Now go away!"

"That's exactly what I plan to do. Just checking you're done throwing up so I can get ready in peace."

She heard his footsteps walk away from the door. You would never be able to tell he was the same boy who had been broken and beaten a few weeks ago. He'd obviously settled back into school life now that the bruises had faded and she saw more snippets of the old Malfoy than she'd been used to recently. Although he hadn't called her mudblood since the argument they'd had on the first night back at Hogwarts so it was still a much tamer version of the Malfoy she had known for the past 6 years. For the most part they still ignored each other though, rarely speaking and living their lives as separately as they could. The only problem was that she knew their lives were now bound in a way he had no idea. She didn't intend for him to have any idea either. Dumbledore might think he had a right to know but she wasn't ready. She was still settling into the idea that she was going to be a mother, adding him knowing into the mix would not be of any use to her at the moment.

She climbed to her feet shakily and splashed water on her face. Her legs felt as though they'd been filled with sand. She sighed as she looked at her pallid reflection in the mirror. Her skin was dull and pale and there were bags under her eyes. She wandered if it was normal for pregnancy to give you the appearance of being at deaths door. She certainly wasn't glowing that was for sure. She picked up a soft white flannel and patted her face dry before heading back to her room to get ready.

Once she had made herself look as acceptable as possible she walked into the common room only to be greeted by Malfoy again. He was lounging on the sofa as if he didn't have a care in the world. She knew fully well that he did; she wished she could be as good at hiding problems. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to conceal the fact that she was still trembling.

"I know what's wrong with you, you know Granger."

If it was possible Hermione's heart skipped about 3 beats. How could he know? She was sure he couldn't have heard her being sick before this morning as she hadn't been anywhere near the common room the other times. She'd already noted that she wasn't good at hiding problems but surely she wasn't that transparent.

"What?" She said trying desperately not to convey her panic.

"Well it's obvious, isn't it? I'm surprised none of your Gryffindor idiots have noticed yet." He said, his voice had a slight smug tone to it.

_Wait, 'noticed, I'm not even showing yet._

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" She asked warily as he got to his feet and walked over to face her. She took a step back; he was making her nervous. If he knew she was pregnant then he was sure to be angry; she didn't know what he'd do to her. This thought made her feel even more shaky, she clenched her fingers into her arms to stop them from trembling. Her legs felt heavier than ever; she knew that if he was to attack her she'd stand no chance of running.

"You've gone and given yourself some sort of eating disorder. Only now instead of not eating at all your throwing all your food back up." He said as though he had worked out the secrets of the universe.

She let out the breath she'd been holding. If she hadn't been in such a panicked state she might have laughed at this. If her mind hadn't been slowly clouding over ever since she had been sick she might have launched into a tirade of words telling Malfoy how stupid he was.

"I don't need this from you Malfoy. I'm going." She said feebly but as she tried to push past him her legs gave out from underneath her. She felt herself falling to the ground before arms wrapped around her waist and held her up.

"What are you doing to yourself Granger?" He said as he supported her weight and led her to sit in an armchair. He sat down on the wooden coffee table beside it. "I thought you were talking to McGonagall."

"I'm seeing Madam Pomfrey now instead." She mumbled. This was the honest truth; since she was going to be seeing the school nurse once a week for a check up anyway it had made sense.

"Does she know you make yourself sick?" He questioned.

"Shut up Malfoy you don't know what you're talking about." She said before leaning her head back on the sofa and closing her eyes.

She could feel his eyes burning into her. She didn't dare open her eyes to meet his gaze; scared of the look she'd be met with. Would it be confusion, disbelief, frustration or perhaps just a famous Malfoy smirk telling her how stupid she was? She didn't know and she certainly wasn't going to find out. She heard him sigh and get to his feet.

"Stay there." He muttered before leaving the room.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked around. She could hear him in his room.

_What on earth is he doing now?_

He returned in a matter of minutes with a small glass vial. Hermione looked up at him as he stood by her chair and pulled the stopper out of the bottle.

"Here, drink this." He told her placing the bottle in her hands.

"What is it?" She questioned suspiciously.

"Pepper up potion. It'll keep you from fainting. Of course keeping food down would also do the same." He replied.

"What have you done? Poisoned it?"

"Don't be ridiculous Granger. If I were planning on killing you there are easier ways than poisoning you with a potion that you might not ever have needed to take." He scathed. "Just drink it ok."

She narrowed her eyes; his reasoning had made her claims seem foolish now. She hated being wrong. Despite her frustration she downed the potion in one go.

"Don't bother to throw it back up Granger. It's not likely to make you fat." He said before turning and walking out through the portrait door.

Hermione stared after him incredulously. She was beginning to wander whether he had some sort of split personality disorder. Only a few moments before she'd been thinking of how he'd been acting more like his old self and yet here he was now helping her after she'd nearly fainted because he thought she had an eating disorder. It was nearly enough to make her head start spinning again.

She hadn't totally denied his claims. At least if he thought she was bulimic then he wouldn't be looking for any other reason behind her symptoms. He'd been right about the pepper up potion though; she was already starting to feel better. Her mind felt more awake, she had stopped shaking and her legs no longer felt as though someone had put weights in her feet. She definitely needed to ask Madam Pomfrey for some more pepper up potion if this was how pregnancy was going to make her feel.

* * *

Hermione was now sat in the Great Hall at breakfast. It was an array of black and orange. It had been decorated with levitating pumpkins and bats that were flying high above everybody's heads. There were streamers spiralling down from the enchanted ceiling to the corners of all the tables in the room alternating between orange and black.

The food in front of her had never looked so un-appetizing, even during the weeks when she had hardly eaten at all she could have faced food more than now.

She was distracted. She couldn't help but feel shaken up from Malfoy's accusations. What if he had have guessed the correct reason for her throwing up and nearly passing out? She was drawn back to reality by Ginny, Harry and Ron.  
"Hermione, you look absolutely dreadful." Exclaimed Ron.

"Oh thanks." She replied, sarcasm thick in her voice.

"Sorry it's just we were going to see if you wanted to come to the Halloween party in the Gryffindor common room tonight? But if you're sick then it's fine if you don't come." Said Ron.

"You know I have a feeling I might be better later." She exchanged a knowing look with Ginny.

"Good, so you'll come then. Everyone really misses you, it's not the same without you in the common room." Said Harry.

"You mean it's not the same when I'm not there to help you all with your homework." She raised her eyes although a smile was already forming at the corners of her mouth

"Not at all, although we do miss that too." Said Harry as they laughed.

"Alright I guess I could come for a bit." She replied. She was slightly nervous. To be honest she wasn't really in a party mood. What if she got sick there? It would be just her luck if she got evening sickness as _well_ as morning sickness. However she was determined not to let this baby start to take over her life already. What harm could a little party do?

* * *

It was 7 o' clock on Halloween. Luckily for Hermione she was feeling much better now; she had managed to keep down lunch and dinner.

She was in her room getting ready with Ginny. Hermione was glad it wasn't a costume party, she had settled on wearing a pair of dark denim jeans with a black jumper. She didn't want to draw attention to herself, not that you could tell in the slightest that she was pregnant, but at least black fitted in with the Halloween theme. Ginny was standing behind her smoothing out her hair with Sleekeazy's hair potion.

"Hermione, I was thinking that maybe you could tell Harry and Ron tonight, about you know what." She said motioning to Hermione's stomach.

"I don't know Gin. I don't know if I'm ready to tell them and they certainly aren't ready to hear." Hermione replied.

"But it would avoid awkward moments like this morning when they noticed how ill you looked. They'll start to think you're going back to how you were at the start of the year." Ginny pressed.

"I know, but I don't want to spoil the party for them. They'll be having a good time."

"All the more reason to tell them tonight, get them while they're both in a good mood." Ginny reasoned.

"I suppose. I'm not sure, let's just see how things go tonight." She said as Ginny finished her hair.

* * *

Hermione walked into the Gryffindor common room with Ginny. There was music playing in the background, she recognised it as the weird sisters. Someone had enchanted pumpkins to float in mid air as they did down in the Great Hall. She could see Parvati and Lavender sat on the sofa gossiping and Seamus and Dean daring each other to try out the latest products they'd brought from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Standing near the arched windows she spotted Harry, he caught her eye and made his way over to them.

Hermione pondered over telling Harry and Ron that she was pregnant. They always thought of her as responsible and sensible, not reckless and impulsive as she had been the night of her parent's funeral. They would probably be more disappointed in her than anyone else. But she didn't think they'd abandon her. No she knew they wouldn't. It wouldn't make telling them any less daunting though

"Hey. How are you? You look much better than you did earlier." He greeted.

"Yeh I'm feeling ok now thanks." She answered.

"Hey Harry did you want some…" Ron cut off his sentence as soon as he saw Hermione. He put his hands behind his back. "Oh hi Hermione, didn't see you there." He said nervously, failing at the fact he was obviously trying to hide something.

"What are you hiding behind your back Ron?" Hermione asked getting straight to the point.

"Nothing." He said trying to sound nonchalant but his voice came out high and his ears were turning red

"Honestly Ronald do you think I'm stupid?" She said as she pulled his hands from behind him. "Firewhisky." She exclaimed.

"Yeh well it is a party."

"Have you forgotten that you're a Prefect and I'm Head Girl?" Hermione questioned.

"No, that's why I was trying to hide it from you wasn't it."

This made her angry.

"So what, you have to hide things from me because you think I'll grass you up? I'm no fun because I'm Head Girl now?" She snapped

"No, you've always been the sensible one haven't you. And weren't you just planning on grassing us up?" Ron said defensively.

"No! I was worried in case you got caught Ronald." Her voice had grown high and shaky.

"Well then there's no need for you to worry because it's not like we've got enough to get drunk."

"That's not the point Ron! What you're basically saying is I'm just some big prude who doesn't know how to enjoy herself."

Hermione felt inexplicably upset. All the burning anger she had felt before had simmered and now she just wanted to cry. She had no idea why; she knew her friends _did _see her as sensible, earlier she'd been worried about them realising she obviously wasn't. She now had tears in her eyes. She hoped her hormones weren't going to be this unpredictable for the whole pregnancy.

"Hermione there's no need to get upset. Ron didn't mean it in a bad way." Harry tried to console her.

"Yeh you know what I'm like, rubbish with words. I'm sorry if I upset you." Said Ron guiltily.

Hermione couldn't stop the tears that were building. She took deep breaths trying to control her emotions.

"Maybe we should get you out of here Hermione." Ginny suggested.

"Come up to our dorm." Said Harry, utterly confused as to why Hermione was now in such a state over such an insignificant comment.

They led her across the common room and up to the 7th year boy's dorm. Once they were inside Hermione let the tears fall.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I got so upset." She choked out as she sat down on a bed and wiped away her tears.

"I do." Murmured Ginny.

"What do you mean?" Asked Harry.

"It's not my place to say." Ginny replied. "Hermione?"

"Ginny I don't think they're ready to know."

"I think you should tell them. It would help, and you never know it might even stop my idiot brother making stupid comments." Ginny scowled at Ron.

"Will _someone_ just tell us what it is? You're worrying me." Said Ron

"Me too. Whatever it is you can tell us, it seems my girlfriend knows and I don't. We're meant to be your best friends." Harry tried to reason.

"Harry I would've told you but it really isn't my place to say." Said Ginny.

"What isn't?" Ron said loudly. "Just tell…"

"I'm pregnant." Hermione cried, cutting Ron off mid sentence. It had been easier to just blurt it out like that. It had certainly stopped the arguing.

"You're what?!" Harry said in shock.

"You can't be pregnant!" Said Ron indignantly. "You have to have done _it_ to be pregnant."

"Well obviously Hermione has done _it_ seeing as she is pregnant." Said Ginny.

"Ginny!" Hermione tried to interrupt.

"You're actually pregnant?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Hermione nodded. She knew they'd be angry and she hadn't been wrong.

"What the hell Hermione. I can't believe you'd be this stupid." Said Ron.

"So I'm stupid now am I? I thought I was a prude downstairs a minute ago?" She argued.

"Well I was obviously wrong about that, wasn't I." Ron fumed.

Hermione opened her mouth to argue back.

"Stop!" Shouted Ginny. "All of you stop. You 2 are behaving like idiots. Can't you get off her back?" She motioned to Ron and Harry.

"We're behaving like idiots?" Harry scoffed. "You can't blame us for being shocked Ginny."

"I don't, I was shocked too. But I don't think anyone was more shocked than Hermione was. She's been through hell the last week ok." Ginny informed them.

"You've known for a week and you didn't tell us Hermione? Harry asked, he sounded hurt by this.

"Shows how much she trusts us mate." Muttered Ron.

"Of course I trust you." Hermione cried. "I didn't even know if I was going to keep it until a couple of days ago."

"You were thinking about getting rid of it?" Harry asked more gently now.

Hermione nodded running the back of her hand underneath her eyes to wipe away the newly fallen tears.

"You could have come to us you know. We would have been there for you." Said Ron who seemed to be getting over his initial shock too.

"I know." Hermione whispered.

"We didn't mean to get angry Mi'. It's just we're surprised. Even you have to admit that this isn't like you." Said Harry.

"I know and I promise you I regret it so much, but it's happened now. I'm absolutely _terrified_ and I don't think it's even properly sunk in yet. But I've made the decision to keep it and I really need you both right now." She told them honestly.

"We're here for you, you know that. Look I'm sorry for everything I said before. It's just I would've said nearly every other girl in our year was more likely to get pregnant now than you. I don't mean that in a bad way at all." Ron explained now he had calmed down.

"I know you don't Ron. I wouldn't have expected myself to get pregnant now either." She said quietly.

"Hermione, I have to ask this. Whose is it?" Asked Harry.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She had told them she was pregnant but she couldn't tell them that. They were still dealing with the shock of her being pregnant, if she told them it was Malfoy's baby it would probably send them over the edge.

"I, I can't tell you." She stammered. "I do trust you." She added quickly when she saw their faces. "It's not that I won't tell you, I just can't tell you now. I'm not ready. He doesn't even know, that's if I tell him at all."

"You _should_ tell him, make him take some responsibility." Said Ron.

"Trust me its better that he doesn't know." She insisted. She was sure that if Ron knew the truth he wouldn't be suggesting she tell him.

"Ok, we trust you, right Harry." Said Ron.

"Yeh and you won't be on your own. We'll all be here for you." Harry reassured her.

"Yeh, Ginny has already offered her babysitting services." She told them.

"We'll be the best uncles a baby could want." Said Harry

Hermione smiled slightly at this. She was still terrified but Ginny had been right, knowing her friends were all going to support her had made the future seem less frighteningly lonely.

* * *

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, it really means a lot, thank you!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11-Fights and Flames.**

_Friday November 13th_

Draco was in the Great Hall eating breakfast. He was sat next to Blaise at the Slytherin table ignoring the buzz of conversation going on around him. He looked over at the Gryffindor table where Granger sat. He thought to himself about how odd she'd been acting lately. His mere presence seemed to send her running from a room. He supposed it was because he had discovered her eating disorder; it was so obvious though. There was the time she had fainted in arithmancy and then he'd actually heard her being sick before she nearly passed out again.

Every time he saw her these days she was pale; although she didn't seem to have lost any weight. He wanted to kick himself for noticing these things. He tried to convince himself that he merely noticed them in passing; he certainly wasn't going to admit to spending time watching her. Merlin it made him sound like he was some sort of stalker. He wasn't, I mean they shared a dorm it was impossible to totally ignore her no matter how desperately he tried. He _wasn't_ worried and yet he didn't seem to be able to stop sneaking glances at her; checking for anymore changes. Every fleeting glance he took was followed by a grimace; he had other things on his mind far more important than making sure a mudblood wasn't killing herself. He didn't _care_ about her. No, care definitely wasn't what he was feeling he kept telling himself over and over. He was a Malfoy, he wasn't programmed to care; he was merely observing her situation that was all.

There was also the incident when he'd been woken up the other night by her screaming hysterically. His first hazy thought as he was startled awake was that someone had broken into the common room and was attacking her. In a split second he had jumped out of bed and grabbed his wand before rushing to the door.

His fingers had been wrapped around the cold brass door handle when he'd realised what he was doing; if he was to run out there and find that someone _was_ murdering her he'd be putting himself in danger. Immediately he had pulled his hand back and listened closer. She was still screaming and crying but he couldn't hear anyone else; there were no sounds of a struggle.

After much hesitation he'd decided to see what was going on. He quietly pulled open his own door and walked slowly and cautiously over to her bedroom; wand raised just in case. By the time he'd reached the door though her screams had stopped. He hadn't bothered to even open her door, he had shouted in to ask what the hell was going on only to be informed she'd been having a nightmare.

He'd returned to bed feeling slightly stupid after that. He wandered what exactly he'd been planning to do as he'd shot out of bed thinking she was being attacked. Was he going to go to her rescue? Rush in and be the hero? Just like caring wasn't something a Malfoy did, neither was playing the hero. The way he'd been brought up he was far closer to being the bad guy than the hero.

He was drawn from his thoughts by Blaise tapping him on the arm.

"Isn't that yours?" He said as the morning owls entered with the post.

"Yeh it is." Draco said grimly as he looked up to see his family's eagle owl flying gracefully towards him.

He saw that there was a letter attached to the bird's leg as it landed in front of him. His name was written in neat elegant script; his father's writing. He un-attached the letter from the owl's leg and looked at it hesitantly for a few seconds. He tucked it inside his robes before shooting up from the table and out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Draco walked quickly to the Astronomy Tower, climbing the spiral staircase and pushing open the old wooden door with its large iron handle. Before this year he had only ever come up here for lessons. These days however he'd found himself at the top of the school's tallest tower on more than one occasion, just sitting and thinking. It was quiet and calming. There was no one else to interfere with his problems when he was here; he could be alone to process the thoughts that were driving him crazy. When he was here, a couple of hundred feet up from the ground, he felt as though nothing else existed in the world apart from the occasional owl that flew past.

He sat on the stone floor and pulled the letter out. Quickly he opened it and discarded the envelope. If he hadn't have already recognised his Father's handwriting, the Malfoy family coat of arms at the head of the letter would have confirmed his fears. With a sigh he started to read.

_ Thursday November 12th __  
__Draco, __I hope things are adequate at school and that the absurdity that is the Head Master is not spouting nonsense about unity and fighting the Dark Lord. It's about time that Order of his learned that their efforts are pointless. Good things are about to happen regarding that my son. __You're lack of enthusiasm has disappointed me greatly. It is unacceptable. This is what you were born for; what I have been preparing you for. You must understand that your punishments were necessary and unavoidable. I trust that we will have no more disagreements in the future once you become a Death Eater. __I have been tolerable of you Draco. The Dark Lord would not placate you with beatings. No, he would simply kill you for defying him, that would be after a dose of the old crucio of course. __So you see Draco, everything I have done to you has been for your own good; to teach you life's most valuable lessons. Lessons in respect and honouring your Family and our beliefs. __It will not be long before you return home to fulfil your duties as my son. Honestly if your Mother hadn't insisted so formidably that you finish your education I would have brought you home from that wretched school long ago. __Here's to your future as a Death Eater. __Your Father. _

Draco was shaking; the thin parchment of the letter threatening to tear between his fingers as his body shuddered while fighting the urge to throw up. He swallowed back the bile in his throat before slamming his fists into the ground beside him. He barely even winced from the pain as he let out a feral growl.

Had he been expecting an apology? Of course not. The very idea of Lucius Malfoy apologising was ridiculous.

Had he been expecting his father to justify his actions? Yes, and he supposed that was what the contents of the letter had been. An explanation for the bruises that had patterned his pale skin and for the cruel words of disappointment and failure. It was obvious that his Father saw nothing wrong with what he had done. He still expected him to become a Death Eater.

Draco felt defiance running through his veins. He would _never_ join. He had been willing to give in and die…

_Why should I have to give up on life to avoid fulfilling _his_ plans for me?_ He suddenly thought.

Why had he ever accepted that as his fate? How had he given up so easily? Could there be another option? It wouldn't be easy…

His new found realisation was interrupted by a knock at the door. He turned his head and saw Blaise stood with the door ajar. He'd been so caught up in his anger that he hadn't even heard it open. Blaise looked at him almost hesitantly, Draco realised he was still shaking slightly and had his fists clenched tightly at his sides. He relaxed his body to show Blaise that it was ok for him to enter.

"Sorry, you seemed a bit on edge when you got that letter. I figured I should check you weren't trying to do yourself in or anything." Blaise said in an unnaturally calm voice considering he had been thinking Draco was about to throw himself off the Astronomy Tower.

"Not today." Draco muttered. "The letter, it was from my Father."

"I thought as much." Blaise admitted as he took a seat up on the barricades of the tower. "What did he have to say for himself?"

"Oh you know. How I've disappointed him. How everything he's done to me has been for my own good. How I _will_ become a Death Eater."

Blaise sighed.

"I take it the letter hasn't changed your mind then if the look on your face is anything to go by."

"I won't be a Death Eater." Draco replied icily.

"What are you going to do?" Blaise asked.

Draco remained silent for a moment staring past the barricades where Blaise was sat and out into the distance. He could just make out the boundaries of the school beyond the ancient withered trees that made up the Forbidden Forest. Past those boundaries was where freedom lay. In turn it would also be where he was at his Father's peril if he wasn't careful. Eventually he spoke.

"Go on the run." He said in a voice that sounded tired yet far more calm than it should have been.

The thought had come to him just as Blaise had knocked on the door. If there was another option then that was definitely it.

"It's either that or I go home to face my Father. I know how that will end and I'm not doing it. Not anymore."

"Are you going to go to Dumbledore for help then, like I suggested?" Blaise asked.

Draco shook his head.

"That Order thing he has won't be able to protect anyone. Not against the Dark Lord. I couldn't care less what happens to Potter but if he feels like surviving he should be doing the same thing."

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know, somewhere abroad maybe." Draco replied, answering the questions that had been swimming around in his own head as well as Blaise's.

"What sort of life would that be though, always looking over your shoulder?" Blaise said realistically.

"A better life than I'd have if I become a Death Eater. There are ways to change your identity easily enough and you never know maybe one day my Father will have forgotten what a huge disappointment I've been to him." Draco laughed bitterly.

Blaise returned the humourless laugh recognising his friend's sarcasm.

"Yeh I think that might be hoping for just a little too much. I mean I've met your father. He's a man obsessed." Said Blaise.

"Mm perhaps I should be questioning my own sanity." Draco pondered. "I don't want to die like that though. I don't want to just give up and go down without even trying. If I have to run then that's what I'll do, even if I spend my life looking over my shoulder at least I'll be living."

"Sounds like the most sane thing you've said in a while mate." Blaise laughed with more humour this time.

"And what would you know about sane?" Draco joked.

"More than I should with half a dozen dead Step Fathers and a crazed money grabbing Mother who most likely did my Father in too."

Draco looked over at Blaise. His faced seemed to be full of amusement but Draco knew that his eyes told a different story. There was bitterness and frustration there. He knew all the constant changes of never having a lasting father figure bothered Blaise more than he would ever let on.

"Do you ever feel like we're caught up in a war that isn't ours to fight?" Blaise asked, taking the conversation away from himself.

"Yeh, I suppose. I won't fight though. I've seen enough people hurt and killed to last me a lifetime." He answered honestly.

Draco felt something building inside him. Something he had almost forgotten how to feel. Despite all the anger that was still coursing through him thanks to his Father's letter there was now hope.

_Merlin I'm starting to sound like a sappy Gryffindor._

As much as he hated sounding like that he now had a plan; one that would give him a chance at life. When he left school, he was leaving as a free man. Well as free as someone on the run could be.

* * *

Hermione was now just over 3 months pregnant. During the past couple of weeks her nausea and sickness had gotten much better. For this she couldn't be more grateful.

She had been to see Madam Pomfrey for a check-up and apparently she and the baby were doing fine. She was starting to get used to the idea of being pregnant; although now the sickness was better she barely noticed at all some days. Well apart from the fact that Ginny, Ron and Harry had become obsessed with checking up on her. Ron wasn't quite as discreet at this as Harry and Ginny. The other day he had asked her loudly if she felt sick this '_morning_'. Luckily it had only been Neville sat next to them and he hadn't read anything into Ron's emphasis on morning.

Today was Friday; she was sat alone in the Great Hall eating dinner. She was absolutely exhausted after this week. Between going to lessons, doing homework, carrying out Head Girl duties and being pregnant she had barely stopped.

She was thankful it was finally the weekend, she was going to go back to the Heads Dorm, do her homework and get an early night. This sounded like a perfect plan to her. As she walked back from the Great Hall after she'd finished eating she spotted Harry leaning against a wall. His face was contorted with worry and his body was rigid. His eyebrows were furrowed together and he seemed barely aware of the people passing him noisily in the corridor as he stared ahead with unfocused eyes.

"Harry what's the matter? Has something happened?" She asked concerned.

"I just got called to see Dumbledore." He told her, his voice was thick with what she thought was anger or fear. His eyes glanced only briefly at her before returning to staring blankly ahead. "There was a raid on Grimmauld Place last night. They think it was Death Eaters."

Hermione sucked in a breath and covered her mouth with her hand.

"I can't believe it Harry." She gasped. "No one was hurt were they?"

"No luckily no one was there at the time." He replied seemingly more aware of her presence now. "It just feels as though they're getting closer all the time. How much time do I have left before it comes to the end between me and Voldemort?"

"Oh Harry." She said pulling her distressed friend into a hug. "I wish there wasn't so much placed upon your shoulders."

"Me too Hermione, me too." He murmured into her shoulder.

* * *

_2 hours later… _

Hermione had left Harry once Ginny had turned up and was now sat in the common room doing her homework. Unfortunately for her so was Malfoy, it was now too late to escape to the library. They were pointedly ignoring each other, both focusing on the parchment in front of them.

Hermione still wasn't able to look him in the eye. As soon as she saw the steel grey eyes, white blond hair and pointed features she panicked, wandering whether the baby would have any of those. They'd be better than inheriting his personality traits though she supposed. Quite frankly these thoughts were enough to bring back the morning sickness in her opinion.

She was writing an essay for transfiguration. It wasn't a particularly challenging essay just enough to distract her from her worries about what had happened at Grimmauld Place. She knew she had sworn not to use work as a distraction from her worries again but this was a one off. The thought of Death Eaters gaining access to the Order Head Quarters was terrifying; Harry was right they were getting closer. She focused on the essay in front of her pushing all thoughts to the back of her head. She knew worrying about it would not do her or anyone else any good. Her attention was drawn away from her work when Malfoy groaned and threw down his quill. She looked up to see him frowning at his essay.

"Something the matter?" She hated that she had asked, it seemed to be automatically programmed in her mind to want to help with homework.

"It's nothing." He snapped.

"Really?"

"Yes." He replied monotonously not looking up from his parchment.

"Are you sure?" She asked tentatively. She wasn't sure why she was pressing the matter; she supposed having someone else's work to focus on would distract her mind further.

"Yes Granger I'm sure." His voice was becoming snappier again.

"It's just that it doesn't look like nothing."

"You can't help yourself can you; questioning people's problems." He burst out throwing the parchment down on the coffee table. "I'm having some trouble with my essay alright, are you happy now?! Are you content thinking that you're better than everyone else."

"Talk about over-reacting. I was only going to offer to read through it for you. I think that's rather generous of me considering everything." She told him huffily.

"What! If that's a reference to the night at the Leaky Cauldron then you can shut up _right_ now. I don't owe you anything." He hissed getting to his feet as he became more worked up.

"And_ I_ don't owe you anything either. I could've gone on ignoring you instead of offering to help you know. I've got about 101 things more important going on than your homework right now. But _I_ decided to be the bigger person." She informed him trying to keep her voice calm as he towered over her.

"That's you all over isn't it Granger, desperate to please and have everyone tell you what a good person you are. You were certainly desperate to please _that_ night weren't you."

"That is _such_ a lie Malfoy and you know it." She said scowling at him. "I was drunk that night and devastated. I wasn't trying to please anyone, especially not you!"

"Really? Cos it certainly seemed like you tried pretty hard once you were up in my room." He plastered a smirk on his face.

"Shut up! I don't want to talk about that night." She told him angrily getting to her feet so that the height between them wasn't so great. It really was the last thing she wanted to talk about. She already had a reminder of that night with her at all times.

"Truth too much for you is it Granger?" He mocked.

"Truth! Let's talk about truth shall we. You are pathetic." Her hormones were taking over again and she was starting to lose control of her emotions. "You're so proud that you're scared to accept help, and we both know why that is. God forbid you accept help from a mudblood, what would Daddy do about that?"

As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them.

Images of a bruised chest and back flashed into her mind and her hands flew to cover her mouth.

"Malfoy I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." She said in a hurried rush of words.

"You are a vile, _dirty_ little mudblood." He spat, his face was thunderous. "You _never_ speak about my Father again. Do you understand?!"

"Yes I do." She cried. She was shaking; he had stepped closer to her now. "I wasn't thinking when I said that. You have to believe me when I say I never meant to say something so un-thoughtful."

"Shut. Up." He enunciated the words precisely. "I'm going to leave this room now and once I'm gone I don't want to speak another word to you. I don't need your help or your apologies. Ignoring you is the best thing I've done in weeks, certainly better than anything else I've done with you!" He said harshly before walking to his room and slamming his door so hard it shook.

Hermione remained stood on the spot for a few moments. Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks and her breaths were coming in short gasps. She was shaking slightly as she quickly picked up her homework and fled to her own room.

* * *

Draco was pacing his room with his fists clenched. Feeling his anger build until he could no longer control it he pulled back his fist before slamming it into the wall. He yelled out in pain watching blood start to seep from the grazes on his knuckles that were already sore and red from punching the floor of the Astronomy tower earlier.

_Bloody Granger_, he thought throwing himself back on his bed and taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. It wasn't working. He had already been full of pent up anger from his Father's letter earlier and she'd pushed him over the edge. He was still fighting the urge to barge into the bedroom next door and shake Hermione Granger until he felt better. He lay on the bed like that with his fists clenched for nearly half an hour before making the decision to go to a place he knew he could escape to calm down and stop himself resorting to that particular outcome, he dragged himself up from the bed and made for the door.

Draco stomped across the common room muttering under his breath all the things he'd like to say to Granger.

If he'd been focussing more he might have felt the gaze of the person hidden around the corner of the corridor in the darkness as he threw back the portrait door and stalked off down the corridor.

* * *

Hermione was sleeping restlessly in her bed, her sheet and comforter twisted around her hips. She had gone straight to bed after the argument with Malfoy. Her mind had been so exhausted with everything that was running through it that she had fallen asleep quickly. Her breaths were starting to settle into a smooth and even pattern as she slipped into a deeper sleep until her eyes shot open at the sound of something being knocked over in the common room. She blinked, dazed for a moment.

_Damn Malfoy,_ she thought eventually before turning over and trying to fall back to sleep. There was another bang, her eyes opened again.

"Shut up and go to bed Malfoy." She shouted.

She returned to trying to settle back to sleep when she started to feel warm, far too warm for a November night when her bed covers were barely covering her. She could hear a strange hissing and spitting noise coming from the common room.

_Malfoy had better have a bloody good explanation for this!_

She climbed out of her bed and made her way to the door.

_When I get out there I'm gonna tell Malfoy exactly how selfish and frustrating he can be._

This was her last thought before she pulled open the door and was thrown back across the room by an explosion of flames. Her body made contact with the floor with a sickening thud as she was knocked into unconsciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12-Secrets Revealed**

Draco was back at the top of the Astronomy Tower. He had been pacing the room for 15 minutes and the tension in his body was slowly being released. This had definitely become his place, not many people came up here when they weren't having their astronomy lessons so it was always deserted once lessons were over. Blaise was the only person who knew he came up here and no one else ever thought to look for him here, not that many people worried about his where-abouts these days. When he was here it was like no one could hurt him anymore. As he stared out over the grounds of Hogwarts and the Forbidden Forest, he felt free, as though if he had a broom up here he could fly straight out through the window and keep going until he was as far away from Hogwarts, from his father, from all the things that were dragging him down, as he could get.

He stood up on the battlements and closed his eyes letting the wind blow through his hair. His fists were clenched around the bar in front of him, the blood on his knuckles was starting to dry now but his skin remained angry and red. He took a couple of breaths of fresh air before stepping back down into the room. After taking one last look at the view, he left.

Draco made his way back to the Heads Dormitories; he was in no particular rush. The walk to the top of the tower had helped to clear his mind. He was still angry at Granger, but the need to throttle her had dissipated. He hadn't planned on getting so angry with her, when she'd offered her help she probably hadn't meant it to be patronising but being Granger it had come across that way. He was so distracted by everything else he just hadn't been able to focus on his essay; the letter was still playing over in his mind leaving his anger at a constant simmer in the pit of his stomach so teasing her had been a good way to vent his frustrations and distract himself. As soon as she had started arguing back though it had gotten out of hand. She had taken it too far, way too far, even she had realised this. It made him wish she'd never seen his bruises, the last thing he wanted was her pity or guilt for bringing it up.

He stopped in front of the portrait and muttered the password, waking up Elphera who had been sleeping peacefully. She grumbled in her sleepy state about wanting to go back to sleep before opening to let the Head Boy in.

As soon as the portrait swung open, Draco was thrown back against the wall by an explosion of flames bursting out from behind the door. Lights popped in front of his eyes before he came to his senses.

_Granger!_

Draco pushed himself away from the wall and stepped towards the portrait.

"Hey Elphera, wake up!" He yelled at the portrait who was still yawning and groaning about her rude awakening.

"What is the meaning of this? What's going on?" She snapped.

"Is the Head Girl still inside?" He asked.

"Well of course she is,_ she_ wouldn't be out taking midnight walks!" She scolded.

But Draco was no longer listening as he stepped back before pulling his robes up over his head in an attempt to protect himself from the smoke and flames. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, he entered the common room with only thoughts of Granger in his mind.

Sure he'd been angry at her, was _still_ angry at her, but now all his conscious thoughts were of getting her to safety because he couldn't leave her to a fate like this.

As much as he hated to admit it, the blind panic he was feeling as he took in the scene before him - their dorm being torn apart by the hungry flames that seemed to surround him- made him all too aware that he was as panicked for her life as he was for his own.

The scorching heat was unbearable. His eyes were watering and his lungs felt as though they were on fire themselves with every breath he dared to take. He tried to keep as low as possible to avoid the blinding blackness of the smoke.

"Granger!" He shouted with as much strength as he could muster before coughing and spluttering. He felt as though he was breathing in ashes, his throat was now so dry it was agony even to cough.

At last he made it to her bedroom door.

_Thank Merlin it's open!_

"Granger.' He called as he pushed open the door.

"Hermione!" He spotted her lying on the ground unconscious, not noticing that he had just used her first name.

_Shit, please let her be breathing._

He grabbed one of her arms and pulled it over his shoulder before moving one hand behind her back and the other under her legs and picking her up off the floor. He held her closely to his chest and moved back towards the common room, bracing himself for the burning heat and choking feeling in his chest.

The smoke was blinding him now and he could only just make out the light coming from the corridor outside as he made his way towards it as quickly as he could with the dead weight of the unconscious girl in his arms. There was a crash from behind him and he ducked down to avoid a falling bookcase.

"Granger, wake up!" He said, shaking her, but it had no effect she remained still in his arms.

As quickly as he could manage he struggled to his feet before taking the last few steps and stumbling out into the corridor, kicking the portrait shut with his foot to keep the smoke contained.

He lowered Hermione to the floor and knelt next to her, feeling as though he was about to cough up his lungs. He put a hand against the wall to brace himself and put his other hand on his chest in an attempt to catch his breath. Returning his attention to the unmoving girl on the floor, he lowered his head to her chest feeling it rise and fall just slightly against his cheek as he listened out for her breathing.

It was there but only just.

If he didn't do something soon she was going to die. Remembering the wand inside his robes he reached for it while he searched his brain for any spells that might save her.

"_Anapneo_." He choked out pointing his wand at her chest. The shallow movements of her breathing became more pronounced and even.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Draco pointed his wand at her again muttering "_Rennervate_" as he leaned back against the wall to focus on his own breathing while he watched her come round.

Hermione sucked in a deep breath as she was brought back to consciousness. She raised her head slightly and rolled onto her side, coughing and taking shuddering breaths as her lungs battled to suck in fresh air. And then she felt it; pain searing across her mid-section. She let out a cry before clutching her stomach with her hands and bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Granger?" Draco questioned, noticing that she was obviously in some sort of pain. Had he done something wrong when he'd cast the spells? "What's wrong?"

Hermione said nothing but shook her head slightly, a tear falling down her cheek as she felt more pains. Draco moved his hand and placed it on her arm.

"Granger, talk to me." His voice had the slightest hint of panic to it. He looked up when he heard footsteps as Snape walked around the corner.

"What an earth is going on out here?" Snape's voice was stern and forceful.

"There's a fire in the common room." Draco told him quickly to get his side of the story across. "I don't know what happened. Something's wrong with Granger, she was trapped in her room, but I swear I had nothing to do with this. I just used spells to bring her round and then she woke up like this." He drew in a deep breath, his chest still craving the fresh air in the corridor.

Snape's eyes fell at once to Hermione taking in the girl curled up on the floor; tears falling down her face in obvious pain.

"What spells did you use?" Snape asked as he knelt down on the floor beside the students.

"Just _anapneo _and _rennervate_." Draco answered.

"I can't see why either of those would have this effect." He pondered. "She must be taken to the hospital wing at once. What about you? Are you hurt?"

"No, my chest is a bit sore from breathing in the smoke but I'll be fine." Draco replied

Snape muttered "_alohamora"_ at the portrait and shouted "_aguamenti maxima" _quickly extinguishing the fire that was engulfing the common room.

"Can you walk?" He asked Draco.

"Yeh." Draco replied, pulling himself up to stand.

"Miss Granger, if you can hear me we're going to take you to the hospital wing. I'm going to carry you there." He said before scooping her up and walking back down the corridor, Draco trailing along behind.

When they reached the double doors leading into the hospital wing, Draco pushed them open, holding them so Snape could get through with Hermione.

"Poppy!" Snape called to the school mediwitch.

Madam Pomfrey came out from her office and immediately set into action when she saw Hermione.

"Severus put her down on a bed." Madam Pomfrey ordered. "Miss Granger, is it the baby?"

"I'm not sure, I think so." Hermione whimpered as Snape placed her on a hospital bed.

"Baby?" Draco gasped.

_Granger was pregnant!_

"Sir?" He looked to Snape for answers.

"I have no idea." Said Snape understanding his questioning look. "It would seem however that our honourable little Gryffindors are not quite so perfect after all." He paused for a moment to ponder this. "You should settle down in a bed too. I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will be with you eventually." He said before walking towards the door. "I shall be talking to Professor Dumbledore about this of course. I'd make sure you have a good alibi Draco."

Draco had barely listened to what Snape had said. He was in shock, complete and utter shock. Granger was _pregnant._ Well that explained the pain she'd been in, he could still hear her sobs from behind the curtain. The times she'd been sick and fainted made sense now too, she hadn't had an eating disorder as he had suspected. Of course he'd known she wasn't as innocent as everyone made her out to be after the night they'd spent together...

_The night they'd spent together._

_No!_

A new fear was now spreading through Draco's body as the sudden realization hit him.

_This can't be... I can't be..._

He leaned back against the pillow. His eyes were wide in fear and panic.

_No, surely not,_ he thought. I mean what did he really know about Granger anyway. For all he knew she could be a complete slut. She'd certainly given it up to him easily enough.

_Because she was drunk and upset,_ another voice said in the back of his mind.

He quickly ignored this voice and tried to reassure himself.

_Why am I worrying? It's probably not even mine. I mean it was one time, what are the chances? And anyway by the looks of things she might be losing the baby. _  
At this thought a pang of guilt went through him. His own mother had lost a baby when he had been 9; he remembered how devastated she'd been. After that she hadn't been able to have any more children, he wasn't sure she'd ever really gotten over it. Sure he didn't like Granger, not really, but he wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even her.

* * *

Hermione lay back on the bed as Madam Pomfrey moved her wand up and down from her chest to her stomach casting various healing spells, before handing her a selection of potions to take. The pain was now gone and numbness had flooded her body. Her mind unfortunately was not numb, there was only one thought running through her head though.

"My baby, is it ok?" She asked weakly, dreading the answer.

"Yes, your baby will be just fine." Madam Pomfrey reassured her. "It was a close call though; you can't be taking anymore falls."

Hermione nodded and laid her hands on her stomach. The relief that had washed over her upon hearing that the baby was going to be ok was over-whelming. She didn't even fight the tears that were welling in her eyes.

"If Professor Snape and Mr Malfoy hadn't brought you in so quickly you and that baby might not have been so lucky." Madam Pomfrey told her before leaving to go and treat Malfoy.

_Malfoy! Oh great. _  
That thought had brought her back down to earth with a bump. He'd been there when she'd come round outside their dorm. There hadn't been anyone else there until Snape had turned up. Had it been Malfoy who'd saved her from the fire?

_Brilliant, something for him to gloat over._

But he'd also seen her in pain. Through the haze of memories, she recalled his hand on her arm and his voice asking what was wrong. It hadn't been his usual cold arrogant sneer but a voice that had seemed to be laced with concern. But this was Malfoy, so he was probably worried that he was going to be blamed.

This reminded her of what she had heard in the common room before the explosion; there had definitely been someone in there. It must have been Malfoy, no one else knew the password other than Dumbledore and McGonagall and Hermione highly doubted they'd had anything to do with it.

But if Malfoy had started the fire, why had he come to get her out of there?

_Probably changed his cowardly mind at the last minute!_

Now that she knew the baby was going to be ok, she was determined to find out exactly what he had done and why. Pushing her covers back and sliding her feet out onto the cold stone floor, she pulled her curtain open and walked towards his bed. His eyes narrowed as she approached him.

"Why did you do it Malfoy? Was it because of what I said earlier?"

"Do what?" He asked coldly his eyes barely meeting hers.

"Oh don't play dumb with me. What the hell did you think you were doing setting fire to the common room?!" Hermione accused.

"_What?"_ Draco yelled. "You think I did that. You're ridiculous! Why would I have dragged you out of there if I did it? Although maybe that was a mistake, I should've left you in there!"

"Whatever Malfoy." She scoffed, "Nobody else can get into our dorm. Who else would it be?"

"How should I know? But there are about 50 portraits who can tell you I was nowhere near our dorm tonight after our argument, so it couldn't have been me. And if I hadn't come back when I did, you'd be..."

"Miss Granger! What are you doing out of bed?" Madam Pomfrey cried interrupting him. "You and your baby only just survived tonight! You are not to leave this bed until I say." She fussed, holding onto Hermione's shoulders and leading her back to her bed. Hermione glared at him as she was led away.

* * *

_'You and your baby only just survived tonight!'_

So Granger hadn't had a miscarriage.

Big surprise she'd blamed him for the fire though.

"Ungrateful cow." He muttered.

When she had appeared from behind the curtain and approached him his panic had risen to breaking point. If she hadn't accused him of starting the fire first he might have burst out asking her whether the baby was his. Merlin the thought sounded sickening in his head. He was going to have to speak to Granger about it. He had to make sure his life wasn't about to take on yet another mess of a problem.

Looking across the room to make sure Madam Pomfrey was back in her office, he climbed out of bed and slipped behind the curtains surrounding her bed.

She turned her head to look at him. She was crying again, her eyes shone in the dim lighting of the Hospital Wing. He paused to look at her, his heart beat racing. He eventually found it in himself to walk over to her slowly and sit down in the chair beside the bed.

Neither said anything. Draco wasn't about to ask how she was. He only had one concern right now.

"You're pregnant." It wasn't a question.

Hermione didn't speak but nodded her head, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. As the silence continued, Draco looked at her as she stared straight ahead at the opposite bed, unable to meet his eyes.

"Granger, please tell me it's not my baby."

Hermione finally turned her head to meet his gaze, pure sadness evident in her eyes.

"I can't." She whispered, turning her head away from Draco again before she could see his reaction.

He didn't say anything. The room was silent other than Hermione's quiet sobs and Draco's heavy breathing. Draco leaned forward in the chair and put his head in his hands, running them through his hair. The shock of this revelation had left him numb; he wanted to shout and yell but found that he couldn't, not while his body was currently being flooded with overwhelming shock and fear.

_This cannot be happening_, he thought before getting up and walking out of the hospital wing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13- In Shock and Talks**

Draco found himself on the spiral staircase that led to the top of the Astronomy Tower for the second time that night, the 3rd time in less than 24 hours. Although it was now the early hours of Saturday morning. His body was tense as he clambered up the staircase before he burst in through the old wooden door barely even registering the loud slam it made as it hit the wall. He took a deep breath as he slowly slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. Madam Pomfrey was probably freaking out right now because he was gone. Granger would probably tell her he'd done a runner.

_Granger._

There were a million and one thought's running through his head. That night was never meant to have any consequences and _this_ was about the biggest consequence there could have been. It had been a one off between 2 people who didn't get on, but in that moment had needed each other to take away the pain they were both feeling.

His head was pounding. He couldn't handle this. He lowered his forehead down onto his knees and closed his hands over the back of his head. The effect the tower usually had on him was not happening this time. He couldn't have felt further away from calm and free.

He'd never considered having a child before other than for providing the heir his father would have eventually craved had he chosen to become a Death Eater, once he was old enough.

_Yeh, once I'm old enough! 17 is most definitely not old enough!_

This was not how his last year at Hogwarts was meant to happen. He had planned to just make the most of his last few months of school, where everything was simple and uncomplicated; a life away from everything he had to face outside of Hogwarts. He would of course be on the run once he left but that had been a hurdle he didn't have to face until the end of the year. And now. Now it was even more of a reality, now his life was in even more turmoil because of one stupid night with one stupid girl.

This of course brought him back to his earlier question; how many other stupid nights had she had with other guys?

She'd said it was his baby, but anyone could tell a lie. She had probably thought about his family's riches and figured he'd be the perfect candidate to try and land this on. He tried to convince himself of this; that she was lying and conniving. And perhaps if she'd been a Slytherin he would have, but no she was a Gryffindor, honourable and loyal.

Although if she had been a Slytherin girl, the situation wouldn't have been nearly as dire. Sure it would've taken him some time to get used to the idea, he could have coped with that though. But Granger, she was a mudblood and Harry bloody Potter's best friend. She was the absolute worst person he could have ended up in this situation with.

There was no way he was having anything to do with her or the kid. If this got out he'd be finished, quite literally, his Father would see to that with his bare hands before he even had a chance to run if he were to find out that Draco had sullied their precious pure blood line. He'd have to make sure Granger kept quiet about this. Perhaps if he denied it enough she'd even convince herself that he wasn't the father.

Draco raised his head sharply at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He jumped to his feet and pulled his wand from the pocket of his robe. He let out the breath he didn't notice he'd been holding when he saw Dumbledore walk in.

"I thought I would find you up here Mr Malfoy. Professor Snape told me of the events that took place tonight. You may be interested to know that the damage to your Dormitory has been rectified. The fire was contained to the common room alone; Professor Snape has repaired the smoke and flame damage to the furniture. Upon entering now you would perhaps never know such a disaster had torn through it." He mused.

Draco just stared at him at first. Did this man put effort into being a doddery old fool or did it just come naturally to him?

"I'm guessing that's not why you came all the way up here to find me." Draco replied keeping his voice as monotonous as he could.

"Alas no Mr Malfoy. I wanted to hear your version of what happened."

_Oh great!_ He was having the crisis of his life here and Dumbledore wanted him to discuss what had happened _before_ his world had been torn apart. Although he realised Dumbledore probably had no idea of this as he was sure Granger wouldn't have told Dumbledore that he was the father of her illegitimate child.

"Mr Malfoy?"

Draco refocused his attention on the old wizard before recounting his story as calmly as he could.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk. I came straight here and then went straight back after about 15 minutes to find the common room on fire." He told him bluntly keeping the main elements of how and why he had been out in the first place to himself.

"As it would happen, the portraits I spoke to on my way here told me the very same thing." Said Dumbledore. "Now I must get to the point where I convey to you why we have school rules about being out of your dormitories after curfew. Head Boy or not Mr Malfoy I cannot allow you to be wandering the corridors so late at night." His voice was stern yet still calm.

"As it is," he continued, "you were very lucky not to be in the Head's Dormitory at the time the fire was started, we can be grateful for that leading to your safety despite your defiance of the school rules. It would also seem that Miss Granger had a lucky escape tonight. I wouldn't want to consider what the outcome may have been had you not returned when you did."

Right, so that was what this was about. Dumbledore wasn't concerned about his safety. He was worried that he might not have made it back in time to save Hogwarts precious golden girl. Draco glared at Dumbledore refusing to dignify his comments with a reply.

"However, Professor Snape also informs me that if it hadn't been for the spells you cast on Miss Granger, there would also have been a most unsavoury outcome."

Draco turned his face away hoping that his cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"Saving another's life is not something to be ashamed of Draco." Said Dumbledore. "You did a good thing tonight. It proves to me how far you have come over the years and that my decision to make you Head Boy was the right one. I also feel that it would be prudent for you to return to the hospital wing.

"I'm fine I don't need to." Draco replied stiffly stopping himself from displaying any of the emotions he was feeling. He hoped the Headmaster would not make him return to the hospital wing. The last thing he needed right now was to be stuck in a room with Granger.

"I must insist I'm afraid. Even if Madam Pomfrey was happy to let you go, Professor Snape is still carrying out his investigation of your Common Room in search of any clues as to who may have started the fire."

"Fine." Draco said dejectedly before following Dumbledore back out the door.

Hermione was still lying awake in her hospital bed having refused the dreamless sleep potion Madam Pomfrey had offered her, insisting that she would be able to fall asleep fine by herself. Well that had obviously been a lie. She wondered if Madam Pomfrey had realised this as she had left the potion on the table beside the bed.

She thought back to her earlier conversation with Malfoy. He knew. His reaction had been what she'd expected. In fact it had been slightly better than anticipated. He hadn't been happy of course, but he hadn't hexed her or even shouted at her. Hermione was sure that once the shock settled in all that would come. She had been quite relieved when he'd walked out really.

In that moment when he had asked her to tell him that she wasn't carrying his baby she had half considered lying, making the whole sorry mess easier for both of them. But as tempting as it had been she hadn't been able to do it. She wasn't expecting anything from him. At the very most she hoped that once he'd got his anger out, he might let her get on with things without interfering. At the very least she expected him to demand that she aborted the baby.

That was one thing she wouldn't do. Yes the thought may have been high in her mind when she'd first discovered her pregnancy but she had started to come round to the idea of being a mum. And the near miss she'd had tonight had only confirmed this thought in her mind. In those moments of pain and fear of losing the baby it had been like her nightmare all over again.

She heard the double doors open and the sound of footsteps belonging to more than one person. The curtain around her bed blocked her view of who it was.

"You should return to your bed Mr Malfoy while I inform Madam Pomfrey that you are back." She heard Dumbledore saying.

So Malfoy was back. She wondered where he'd gone and whether he'd be ready to take out his shock on her yet. This made the sleep potion on her bedside table seem far more tempting. She picked up the vial and pulled out the stopper before swallowing down the potion and turning onto her side where she did indeed fall into a dreamless sleep.

**********************************************************

Hermione had remained in the Hospital Wing for 2 days before Madam Pomfrey let her return to the Heads Dormitories. Malfoy had only had to stay until the next day; leaving before she was even awake. Harry, Ron and Ginny had been to visit her during the day as it was the weekend. Naturally they'd all been shocked and concerned to hear what had happened but were relieved at least that she and the baby were going to be ok.

They'd all immediately blamed Malfoy for the fire of course, but Hermione had assured them that Dumbledore had proof that it couldn't have been him. This then raised the question of who it could possibly have been as no one other than the most senior Professors had the password to gain access to the Heads Dorm. Elphera had been asleep when the fire was started so she had been no help in revealing who the intruder was. They had discussed it in depth, none of them coming up with any plausible candidates. Hermione insisted that ghosts could not start fires and that it was very unlikely that Peeves would have had a death wish for her as Ron had suggested.

She walked up to Elphera's portrait thinking about how she couldn't wait to climb into her own bed and curl up with a book. Perhaps she'd get out _'Hogwarts: A History'_ and look up anything that might help find out how someone could have gotten into the Head's Dorm without a password. This thought was stopped in its tracks as she walked into the common room to find Malfoy sitting tensely in one of the armchairs. She met his steely grey eyes. She knew the moment where he was going to lose it at her had arrived.

"We need to talk." He said icily.

She considered telling him no, running into her room and not leaving until she was ready. But the longer she left it she knew it would only get worse.

"I know." She sighed wrapping her arms around herself. Draco got to his feet.

"I want to know who the father really is Granger because it sure as hell isn't me. It must have been one of the other notches on your bedpost." He sniped.

She let out a soft chuckle. This she had expected.

"I don't see how any of this is funny." He said.

"Trust me Malfoy, you're definitely the father. There's been no one else." She told him, her face straight again.

"Yeh right, I bet that's what you said to them all, that they were the only one. Well I'm not falling for it. How many guys have you had since me? Did they make you feel as good as I did?" He sneered.

"Oh for god's sake Malfoy get over yourself." She hissed. "It's you ok, believe me I wish it wasn't but it is. I'll do a DNA test if you want proof."

"A what test? If that's some muggle shit then you know where you can stick that idea!" Draco scoffed.

"There's a test Madam Pomfrey can do actually, it reveals who the father is." She told him narrowing her eyes.

"Oh you know what, no! Because even if it did turn out to be mine I want nothing to do with it! Or with you!" He yelled.

"And you think I want anything to do with you?" She asked disbelievingly. "You think I want my baby to have a bigoted _idiot _as its father! I want nothing from you Malfoy. I told you because you have a right to know and now I've done that I can at least say that I did the right thing but that's it." She shouted at him.

"Well good we're both on the same page then." He snapped before pausing while they both regained control over their tempers.

"I'll do the stupid test." He eventually sighed. "To prove it's not mine if not for anything else. You understand of course that even if it does turn out that it's mine, nobody can know. Can you imagine what would become of my reputation?"

"Your reputation!" Hermione cried, rapidly letting her temper take control again. "What about mine, you think even for 1 second I want people to know I slept with you? Get real Malfoy, as if I'd tell anyone what we did. That works both ways though, I won't tell people you're involved and you can't tell anyone I'm pregnant, not until I decide to tell people."

"Honestly Granger, you don't think I have better things to be doing with my time other than discussing you." Draco scoffed again.

"There's no use talking to you. If you're serious about taking the test meet me here at 7 tomorrow morning, at least that way we can avoid being seen by anyone. I'm going to my room now. Don't disturb me." She huffed.

"As if I'd want to." He replied before she slammed her door shut in anger.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14- The Enchanted Family Tree

They had left to go to the hospital wing early next morning so as not to be seen by anyone. They walked along the corridor in an awkward silence. Hermione decided to break it.

"Look, I realised I never thanked you for saving my life the other night." She started. "I'm surprised you didn't leave me after what I said to you that night."

"If I'd had more time to think I might have." He replied.

"I know, don't worry I wasn't accusing you of actually wanting to save my life." Hermione joked.

Draco laughed in spite of himself. Hermione wasn't sure how she felt about these near civil words between them, perhaps he was just biding his time before he lost it with her when it was confirmed that the baby was his. She was drawn from her thoughts by a small 2nd year boy. She was surprised anyone was around at this time, she'd thought they would be able to avoid being seen by people.

"Excuse me, are you Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger?" He asked timidly.

"Yes we are." Said Hermione.

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office."

"Well we're busy at the moment." Draco told him bluntly.

"Professor Dumbledore said it was very important that he needed to see you now." Said the boy cowering away slightly.

"Ok, we'll go there first instead then." Said Hermione. "Thank you for telling us." She told the boy as he left. "Come on then, let's go."

"I don't see why we should be at his beck and call." Moaned Draco.

"Uh I think it might have something to do with us being the head students." She told him. "It must be pretty important if he needs to see us straight away."

"Yeh well in the grand scheme of things I've got more important things to worry about." He replied.

She returned to silence after this as they made their way to the Headmaster's office.

****************

Draco and Hermione were stood outside the office.

"This is ridiculous." Draco was complaining. "We're supposed to be going to do this stupid test so I can prove that this baby has nothing to do with me."

"Will you shut up?" She said in disbelief. "The only thing it's going to prove is that it's your baby Malfoy."

Hermione shook her head at him before she tentatively knocked.

"Come in." Dumbledore said from behind the door.

"You wanted to see us Sir?" Hermione asked as she leaned forward to open the heavy door.

"Ahh yes, Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy, do take a seat. I'm glad to see that you are both doing so well after the incident the other night."

"Thank you Sir." Said Hermione.

"Now can I offer either of you a cockroach cluster before I start?" Dumbledore asked.

"Uh no thank you Sir." Said Hermione.

"Actually we do have somewhere else we need to be." Draco told the old man.

"Of course, I'll get straight to the point then shall I?"

"If it's not too much trouble Professor." Said Draco sarcastically.

"No trouble at all Mr Malfoy." Said Dumbledore, he turned to look at Hermione. "Miss Granger, Professor Snape informs me that Mr Malfoy here knows of your condition?"

Hermione nodded, she wandered where he was going with this.

"Would I also be correct in saying that he knows he is the father of your baby?"

Draco and Hermione gasped.

"Sir how did you know?" Hermione asked.

"I am not one to eaves drop but I couldn't help but over hear your conversation outside of my office."

"It hasn't been confirmed yet actually, we were just on our way to see Madam Pomfrey." Draco pointed out.

"As it so happens Mr Malfoy you no longer need to see Madam Pomfrey. It has already been confirmed that you are indeed the father."

"Excuse me." Said Draco indignantly. "Would you care to tell me how you have confirmation of this?"

"Professor Snape has been looking into the attack on your dormitory. Miss Granger were you aware of the raid on the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix?" Dumbledore asked.

Hermione nodded.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Draco questioned.

"The headquarters is the old Black family house. There is an enchanted family tree there." Dumbledore told him.

Hermione gasped.

"I don't understand." Draco said looking between Dumbledore and Hermione who obviously seemed to have grasped his meaning.

"As a descendant of the Black family you appear on the family tree Mr Malfoy. I would suspect that the connection between the 2 of you appeared on it the moment the child was conceived." Said Dumbledore.

Shock descended over Draco. Shock that it had been confirmed he was the father and shock that someone else now knew too.

"Who? Who raided this head quarter place?" He asked a frown deep on his face.

"I have it on good record that it was Death Eaters." Dumbledore answered.

Hermione was silent, deadly silent, as understanding washed over her.

"So what? You think You-Know-Who found out and broke into the school to kill Granger?

"No, I believe it to be someone else. I doubt Voldemort has even been told of the child. No, I think the person responsible for the fire would want to keep the news of you fathering a child who will not be pureblood to himself."

"Who?" Draco asked stubbornly, he knew perfectly well who the Headmaster was suggesting.

"It was your Father Draco." Dumbledore said gently.

"No." He said categorically, he didn't want to believe this, not of his Father. Draco knew what he was capable of though; had been victim to exactly what he was capable of. Of course his Father would want to destroy anything that would sully their bloodline and their standing with the Dark Lord.

"I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry." Said Dumbledore.

"Oh good well as long as you're..."

"I don't understand how he got in Professor." Hermione interrupted.

"I cannot be certain about anything, but I suspect he used his contacts at the Ministry to gain access to the floo network. Once he was inside I would imagine he used a disillusionment charm and watched you leave Mr Malfoy. It would be my guess that he blocked the door to your common room while under the charm just after you left."

"How did he know I was going to leave when I did?" Draco thought back to the night of the fire, he'd been so angry and distracted when he'd left the common room that he never would have noticed that the door hadn't slammed shut.

"He didn't. I think he was merely lucky in his plan. If you hadn't left of your own accord I'm sure he would have seen to it that you did by his own means." Dumbledore told him.

"Right so as soon as Malfoy was safely far away, he set fire to the common room to kill me and my baby." Hermione said.

"To put it bluntly Miss Granger, yes that is what I assume was his plan. It was a plan however that failed; he did not foresee you coming back Mr Malfoy."

"I'm sure once he finds out that I did go back to save her he'll wish he'd started the fire with me inside." Said Draco dropping his head into his hands.

"Yes, unfortunately your Father is not happy with you. Under the circumstances we will need to implement protection to keep you safe. As well as you Miss Granger, and the baby of course."

Draco grimaced at the mention of the baby.

"Look I don't need protection from your lot, ok. If he wants to kill me then he'll find a way to do it. I mean he already got in here, didn't he." Said Draco.

"He won't get in here again. We have upped security. We've disconnected every fireplace from the floo network and we have aurors patrolling here now." Dumbledore told them.

"None of that will help me once I'm off school property though will it."

"That is why I am insisting that you remain here during the Christmas holidays next month." Said Dumbledore.

"I wasn't planning on going home then anyway. I'm not stupid."

"He wasn't suggesting that you were Malfoy. What about me Professor, will I be able to spend Christmas with the Weasleys?" Hermione asked.

"Yes I see no problem with this."

Draco scoffed at this.

"You do realize she's in more danger than me don't you, with that _thing_ inside her."

"Why Mr Malfoy is this genuine concern you are showing for your child and it's Mother?" Dumbledore asked.

"What! No! It was not, and that spawn might be mine biologically but I have no intention of having anything to do with either of them."

"How many times do I have to say Malfoy? I want nothing from you." Hermione huffed.

"Mr Malfoy obviously you are still in shock, perhaps once you have come round..."

"No! I want you all to just leave me alone. I don't need any of this." Draco fumed before pulling himself to his feet and walking out the door.

Dumbledore and Hermione remained sitting there in awkward silence before Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"I would not worry Miss Granger. He is merely venting his shock and confusion at the moment."

"I'm not worried. Not about him at least. I meant it when I said I want nothing from him."

"I would not write him off so quickly. He grew up in a world full of prejudice and hatred, it is all he has ever known." Dumbledore said sadly. "He just needs time to come round to the idea that there is also a world full of acceptance and hope."

"He could have all the time in the world Sir but I don't expect anything from him." Hermione told him.

This was the outright truth. She had enough people around her who were willing to support her. She would actually have been more worried if he had wanted anything to do with the baby.

Imagine being tied to Malfoy forever.

************

Draco was sat up on the battlements of the Astronomy Tower. He was torn between shock and anger. His Father had been the one to break into the heads common room and set fire to it. He didn't know why it hadn't seemed like the obvious option all along.

Family trees popped into his mind. Of course Draco hadn't known that his Father knew about the pregnancy so he had no reason to suspect him.

If only he had known about the stupid family tree he would never have gone near Granger. This was the last thing he needed to add to his problems. His Father was sure to kill him now, with Dumbledore's protection or not.

He couldn't explain the anger he felt. He didn't care about Granger, sure they had been getting on better this year than they had in 6; had shared some civil words and helped each other a couple of times but it was mainly because they had ignored each other.

He thought back to the night down by the black lake. He had held her then as she'd cried. He wasn't good when people cried yet somehow he had felt...protective over her that night, he hadn't wanted to see her in that state. That didn't mean that he all of a sudden cared about her, did it? He'd even told her then that he didn't care. Perhaps it was what Dumbledore would call human compassion.

Draco wasn't sure if that was why he felt so angry at his Father. Was it because he had threatened Granger's life? Or was it the baby's life he was worried about. He didn't want this baby, he was sure of that. There could be no doubt; he could never be a Father to this child. Yet he felt angry at his Father for trying to destroy something that was his own flesh and blood. He had almost succeeded too; Granger had nearly lost the baby. He wasn't sure how he would have felt it she had. Relief probably would have featured; it would have been the easy way out. But would he have felt sadness over the loss of the child, _his_ child? He had seen his Mother nearly fall apart after her baby had died. He certainly wouldn't have shed any tears, but he wouldn't have been unaffected by it either.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he jumped out of his skin when he heard the door open behind him.

"Don't throw yourself off on my account." Said Hermione.

"I wasn't going to, things aren't quite that bad yet. What are you doing up here anyway?" He asked.

"I wanted to talk to you. Dumbledore suggested you might have come up here."

"That doddery old fool can't keep anything to himself can he?" He muttered.

Hermione ignored his dig at Dumbledore.

"Believe it or not I know how you're feeling." She told him as she came to sit next to him.

"Your Dad set fire to anything recently has he?"

"My Dad's dead Malfoy." She pointed out.

He turned to look at her, her face was surprisingly calm.

"Sorry I forgot." He said quietly.

"Sometimes I wish I could forget too." She said sadly. "But that's not why I came to talk to you."

"No? What could you possibly want to say to me?"

"Don't ask me why but I wanted to ask if you were ok?" She sighed.

"And why would you want to know that?"

"I said don't ask me why." She told him. "Look you saved my life ok, and I know it's not because you care or anything but you did it all the same and I'm grateful to you for that."

"Don't be, it was nothing." He said.

"But it was though, maybe not to you but to me it was. In saving my life you saved my baby too, well our baby I suppose." She mumbled awkwardly.

He cringed at this.

"Look Granger I don't want this baby. I can't have anything to do with..."

"I know." She interrupted. "And that's what I came up here to talk about. I really do know how you're feeling about it; scared, confused, regretful, maybe even angry. I know because those are all the things I've felt since I found out. I've never been more terrified about anything in my life. I even considered getting rid of it at first. But I know that I've got my friends and the Weasleys to support me and help me get through it." She drew in a deep breath. "So what I'm trying to say is that I meant it when I told you I don't expect anything from you. Not your time, not your money, not anything. I would never keep the baby from you, but I know you don't want it and I understand that. We can just go back to ignoring each other."

There was a moments silence.

"I am confused." He confessed eventually. "You know if this was one of your Gryffindor lot they'd do the brave and honourable thing and stand by you. But I'm not and I can't, even if I wanted to. Now my Father knows I'll probably be murdered before I even get out of school even if I became a Death Eater."

"But it's not you he wants dead is it, it's me and the baby."

"Don't think there won't be consequences for me in this. I'd say you know almost as well as I do what he's capable of."

"I do, and I'm sorry that it's that way. But are we agreed that nothing needs to change, we can go on ignoring each other as we have done all year."

"Yeh." He agreed. "Let's do that."

Hermione left him after that and returned to her bedroom to take in everything that she had just found out.

If Malfoy's Father knew, she and the baby were still in immense danger.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Warning: There is violence in this chapter.**_

Chapter 15- Revelations

_4th December_

It had been 3 weeks since the fire in the common room. Hermione's life had settled back into somewhat normality. Well as normal as her life could be what with hiding her pregnancy and knowing that Lucius Malfoy was still out to kill her. There were now strict rules on the Head's common room, she and Malfoy had to have permission before any of their friends were allowed in and more portraits had been moved to the corridor to make sure no one slipped through the door again.

Harry, Ron and Ginny were also adding their own security precautions by making sure that she was never alone in the corridors or in the library. She was grateful to them but if anything she was starting to feel slightly suffocated. She'd been spending more time in the heads common room just to be able to get some peace.

This had of course meant spending more time in the presence of Malfoy. He'd been surprisingly civil though, well he'd ignored her which in her book definitely constituted civil behaviour from him. If she was honest he was acting as though she didn't exist, he didn't seem to be able to even look at her. This didn't bother her; anything for a quiet life considering her life had been so crazy lately.

Tonight she had gotten permission from Professor McGonagall for Harry, Ron and Ginny to come to the common room after lessons had finished.

They had come back with her once lessons had finished. Harry and Ron were currently sprawled across the sofa. Ron had his feet up on the coffee table.

"I see you two have made yourselves comfortable." Hermione said as she came out of her room and sunk down into the armchair opposite where Ginny was sitting.

"Yep, you know us Mi'." Said Ron. "You've got it sorted in here. No annoying first years. Your own room. All this space to yourself."

"Uh I don't have it all to myself. I have an annoying Malfoy to put up with instead." She replied huffily.

"True, he must be as bad as the first years." Laughed Harry.

"You know truthfully he hasn't actually been that bad." Said Hermione

"What? Did you just defend Malfoy?" He asked.

"Pregnancy is obviously affecting her worse than we thought mate. Hormones screwing up her mind and all that." Said Ron.

Hermione scowled at him.

"There's nothing wrong with my mind thank you Ronald."

"Yeah but surely it can't all have been plain sailing sharing a dorm with him." He replied.

"No I definitely wouldn't say that." She shared a knowing glance with Ginny. "But actually we pretty much just ignore each other."

"Well I still don't trust him." Said Harry. "And I definitely don't think he deserved to get Head Boy."

"He's actually pretty smart you know. I mean he knew the spells to save me after the fire."

"Is there something going on between you two?" Asked Harry.

"No, of course not." She replied trying not to sound nervous. "We just ignore each other and that works."

"Right so after 6 years of you both hating each other and him calling you mud..., well you know what, you can suddenly just ignore each other like none of that ever happened?"

"Yes it's called being mature. And I don't think I ever hated him. Even when he tried to have Buckbeak killed. I was angry, yes, but hate is a strong word Harry."

"Mature! Malfoy?" Scoffed Ron. "I mean come on he's a total git and a prize idiot at that."

"He isn't like that all the time. I've seen another side to him. His life isn't as easy as he wants everyone to believe. But I really shouldn't be telling you that." She said remembering her promise to Malfoy not to tell anyone of his problems.

"Oh, so now you and Malfoy have secrets together?" Exclaimed Ron taking his feet off the table and sitting up to look at her.

"No." She lied, knowing full well that they did indeed have a secret; the result of which was currently growing in her womb.

"You're a rubbish liar Hermione." Said Harry. "There's something you're not telling us."

"No there isn't!" She defended herself.

"I agree with Harry." Said Ron. "Is he threatening you or something; making you lie so people don't suspect him as a Death Eater?"

"Will you two just leave her alone?" Ginny interrupted.

"No." Said Ron. "Hermione?"

"There's nothing." She told them feeling tears build. These hormones were traitorous.

"Hermione please if he's doing anything to you, you need to tell us." Said Harry.

"He's not _doing_ anything."

"Harry as your girlfriend and Ron as your sister I'm asking you to stop." Ginny pleaded with them.

"Right so obviously you know then Ginny." Said Harry. "I don't appreciate either of you keeping secrets."

Harry was looking between Hermione and Ginny.

"I've already told you it's nothing." Said Hermione.

"Obviously it's not nothing. Since when have you stuck up for Malfoy or defended him? If there's nothing going on then why is Ginny telling us to stop hassling you?" Asked Ron.

"Because she's _pregnant_ and you're stressing her out!" Ginny yelled before moving to sit on the arm of Hermione's chair and putting an arm around her. "Look you've made her cry."

"We're not trying to stress you out. We never meant to make you cry, but something isn't right here." Harry sighed.

"I can't tell you." Hermione whispered, her body was shaking with sobs.

"He has hurt you hasn't he." Said Ron.

"No it's nothing like that." She shook her head.

"Then what Mi'? I don't understand." Said Harry.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out." She gave in. "I know what you two are like." She added when she saw their protesting faces.

What else could she do but tell them. They had worked out that something was going on. She couldn't lie to them about this, there was no point. She also knew it was pointless asking them to make a promise she knew they wouldn't keep but she held onto a small slither of hope anyway.

"We won't freak out." Said Harry.

She took a deep shuddering breath. Once they knew she was worried that they would see her as a different Hermione. But then they'd handled the shock of her being pregnant pretty well. She could only hope for a similar reaction to this. She didn't think her wish was very likely to come true though.

"Malfoy..." She paused for another deep breath. "He's the baby's father."

Silence. Utter silence was what occurred in the moment after the words left her lips. She kept her head down, looking at her hands that were twisting in her lap. Just as she thought the silence might make her scream; Harry spoke.

"Tell me you're lying." Harry said in a voice more sinister than she'd ever heard him speak. "Tell me you're lying." He yelled when she didn't answer straight away.

"I wish I was." She whimpered. She shook her head before looking up to face them. Harry's face was stormy, a mix of shock and anger etched across his features. Ron hadn't spoken yet. He appeared to be holding his breath, his lips were pursed and he was turning a shade of scarlet that made him look as though steam should be pouring from his ears.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"You're sorry." Ron burst out. "You're telling us that you and Malfoy... I can't even say it." He fumed. "You're saying that you've _been_ with Malfoy and all you can say is you're sorry."

"What else can I say? I'm more sorry than you can imagine."

"How could you Hermione?" Said Ron.

"I don't know, I was drunk and upset."

"Oh god this happened the night you went to the Leaky Cauldron; the night I let you go after the funeral, didn't it." Harry realised.

She nodded hanging her head in shame again as more tears fell. Harry was shaking his head.

"Do you realise who he is Hermione. He's the enemy!"

"I'd had way too much firewhisky." She defended herself.

"Did he rape you?" Asked Ron.

"No." She said quickly before that thought had a chance to settle in their minds.

"But he took advantage of you." Said Harry. "I'm going to kill him."

Hermione realised that Harry and Ron were quickly letting their anger take over. They looked as if they were ready to go on the rampage. Ron was actually shaking.

"It wasn't like that." She tried to explain. "We'd both just had too much to drink and I was in a complete state after the funeral and Malfoy was upset too."

"Malfoy was upset?" Ron scoffed. "Why? Wouldn't Daddy buy him the latest broom?"

"Don't be ridiculous Ron. Believe it or not some people have emotional capabilities that stretch further than that of a toad."

"I really hope you're not defending him again Hermione." Said Harry.

"There's nothing to defend him for." She told them. "We made a mistake. It happened and I can't take it back. I _wish_ I could but everyone makes mistakes."

"No Hermione, you crossed a line when you went with him." Said Harry.

"You're the one _drawing_ the line." She cried.

"No! He was the one that created that line in all the years that he's treated you like dirt."

Hermione sucked in a breath to answer but found she had no reply. What Harry had said was true but how could she explain that things were different this year; things had changed.

"Does he know?" Ron asked.

"Yes but he wants nothing to do with it obviously." She replied.

"That sounds about right for Malfoy." Harry fumed. "He gets you pregnant and then abandons you to cope with it all by yourself."

"Would you rather it was the other way Harry?" She asked in disbelief. "Would you rather he was in my life forever because of this baby?"

"Of course not!" He retorted. His fists were against his thighs, Hermione was disturbed to see them shaking against the constraints of Harry trying to control himself. "I'm going to find him." He said as his resolve broke.

"No!" Hermione cried.

"I'm coming with you mate." Ron declared getting to his feet.

"Don't be stupid." Ginny scolded.

"Please, you can't go after him." Hermione pleaded trying to grab their arms. "You'll get in trouble. It's not going to solve anything."

"It's a matter of principle Hermione. He took advantage of you. He has to pay." Said Harry.

"Harry you don't even sound like yourself." Hermione whispered.

"Yeah well you haven't exactly been _yourself _lately either have you." He sniped.

"Harry, Ron, please! I won't let you do this." She said standing in front of the door.

"Move out of the way Hermione." Said Ron firmly.

"No." She said defiantly.

"Just move Hermione. I can barely even look at you right now." Said Harry.

What he said shocked her so much that she allowed Harry to take her gently by the arms and move her to the side. She knew that no matter how angry Harry got he would never physically hurt her. Harry and Ron stomped out through the portrait. She stood shell shocked for a short moment before turning to Ginny.

"Come on, we have to go after them." She said.

The two girls left the Head's Dorm and saw Harry and Ron turning the corner. They followed after them until they reached the next corridor. There, they saw that Harry and Ron had stopped. When they looked on further they saw why. Draco Malfoy was stood there.

"What are you staring at Potter? Cat got your tongue Weaslebee?" He mocked Harry and Ron before looking over their shoulders to where Hermione stood crying. His smirk fell.

"What's going on?" He asked suspiciously.

He wasn't given an answer as Harry rushed towards him and punched him right in the face causing him to fall back on the ground. He sat up, a line of blood trickling down his chin from his lip.

"What the hell was that for?" He asked raising a hand to wipe at the blood. He winced when he touched his lip. "Have you finally lost your mind Potter?"

Ron grabbed him by the front of his robes and dragged him up before shoving him against the wall.

"Harry's perfectly sane!" He spat.

Draco tried to push Ron away to give himself a chance to fight back but now Harry had joined him too.

"Ron, Harry stop!" Hermione screamed. Ginny was holding her arms to stop her rushing over to split them up.

"You're going to pay Malfoy." Harry yelled punching him in the stomach. "For what you did to Hermione."

"She told you did she?" Draco seethed through clenched teeth. "Which version did she tell you? The one where the big bad Slytherin took advantage of her or the one where she threw herself at me?"

"Shut up!" Ron shouted slamming him into the wall again. His head connected with the hard stone behind him. His vision blurred and by the time he could see again he was met with another fist in his stomach courtesy of Harry.

"Harry No!" Hermione and Ginny both cried from behind them. Their pleas were ignored.

"Don't you dare say that about her!" Harry growled his face contorted in rage. "You really are scum Malfoy, you know that. She was in a total state that night."

"Harry, I've already told you he didn't force me or take advantage. I knew what I was doing." Hermione sobbed.

"How can you say that Hermione? You said yourself you'd been drinking." Ron pointed out.

"So had he." She cried.

"I don't need you to defend me Granger." Draco choked out from behind the arm that was pressed up against his throat.

"Don't talk to her." Ron shouted. "Don't even look at her. She's worth 10 of you."

He delivered another blow to Draco's gut.

"She's pregnant Malfoy. You got her _pregnant_. She's infected with your _spawn_." Harry hissed getting so close to Draco's face that he could feel his breath against his cheek.

Draco didn't reply. He didn't need to be reminded of this. He could quite clearly see the slight curve of her stomach through the thin jumper she was wearing. It was barely noticeable to those who didn't know she was pregnant but it was blaringly obvious to him; a constant reminder of the mess he was in.

"Harry, Ron please stop. You're not helping the situation." Ginny tried to reason with them.

"He needs to be taught a lesson." Harry seethed.

"Are you really just defending her honour or are you jealous?" Draco returned to mocking them. "Jealous because it was me she wanted that night and not either of you."

Ron removed his arm from across Draco's throat and threw him forcefully back to the floor.

"Ron!" Hermione screamed.

"You know I really pray that that baby turns out nothing like you Malfoy!" Harry spat as he kicked Draco in the ribs causing him to pull his knees to his chest and choke for air. "This might be hard for you to understand but we don't see her as a body to take advantage off..."

"What an earth is going on here?" An authoritative voice called interrupting Harry.

All of the students in the corridor other than Draco, who was still curled in a ball from Harry's last kick, turned to see Professor McGonagall.

"Mr Potter just what exactly do you and Mr Weasley think you are doing?" She questioned.

Harry and Ron looked at her defiantly both breathing heavily. Neither spoke; how did you explain to a teacher that the reason you were beating up another student was for having sex with your best friend?

"Lost for words, are we? No explanation?" She said in a hard voice.

Her words were followed by more silence which she promptly broke.

"Get to my office now, both of you!" She fumed.

Harry and Ron turned to look at Hermione, their expressions cold, before stomping off up the corridor.

"I'll go make sure they don't burst any blood vessels while they're waiting." Ginny sighed rubbing Hermione's arm before walking off while Professor McGonagall was distracted by checking on Draco.

"Mr Malfoy are you ok?" She asked

"I'm fine." He replied starting to stagger to his feet.

He certainly didn't look fine. There was still blood seeping from his lip which was red and swollen. More blood mixed in from where his nose was bleeding and his left cheek was already sporting the beginnings of a bruise. He was obviously in agony if the way he winced and clutched his ribs and stomach was anything to go by. Hermione rushed forward to help him up.

"I said I'm fine." He muttered.

"Obviously you are not." Said Professor McGonagall. "You need to go to the hospital wing at once. Miss Granger you can make sure he gets there but first do either of you have anything to say about what just happened?" She looked between the two, neither willing to convey the truth.

"I can see I'm not going to get any answers here either." She sighed a few moments later. "The hospital wing Mr Malfoy." She nodded at him sternly before turning to leave.

Hermione turned to look at Draco once she was gone.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. "They knew something was going on and they wouldn't leave it alone."

"Yeah thanks Granger. I thought I'd left the beatings behind at home." His voice was bitter.

"I knew they'd be angry but I didn't think they'd do something like this."

"Whatever." He said before slumping past her and walking back towards the common room.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her voice was high from all the crying she'd done.

"To the common room. Where does it look like?" He said without turning around.

"You're supposed to go and see Madam Pomfrey." She called after him.

"You think I want people knowing I got beaten up by those idiots."

"It was two against one, it wasn't fair."

"Look just leave me alone." He sighed.

"No." She cried walking after him. "If you won't go to the hospital wing then at least let me help you." She said as they reached the portrait outside the dorm.

Draco muttered the password and walked in before turning around to face Hermione as she followed him in.

"I don't need your help Granger."

"I have some essence of dittany in my room and I know a couple of healing spells." She said completely ignoring his last comment.

Draco looked at her tear stained face and saw a genuine need to do something.

_This is typical Granger_, he thought. Her idiot friends beat him up because she just _had_ to go and tell them it was him who had gotten her pregnant and here she was trying to solve everything with a few spells and some potion.

"Ok." He sighed in spite of himself before sinking onto the sofa eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He hadn't felt pain like this since the last fight he'd had with his Father at the Manor.

"Right I'll just be a minute." She said wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand before walking into her room.

Draco kept his eyes closed and tried to mute out the ringing in his ears from being punched. His whole body seemed to be throbbing, from the back of his head, to his cheek, to his torso. He was sure that Potter and Weasley must have relieved themselves of a lot of their anger while using him as a punch bag. His mind was beginning to feel cloudy as if someone was pouring fog into his brain. If he just sat here for a bit longer and rested he'd be fine. He'd let Granger do her little spells if it made her feel like it was somehow going to make this situation any better. With this thought in his mind he let the fog take over as he fell asleep.

Hermione was searching her room. She knew her bottle of dittany was around here somewhere. She pulled open her wardrobe and reached down to pick up her wash bag, searching through the various muggle toiletries she always brought with her she found the small brown bottle of liquid she was looking for. She pulled it out along with a clean flannel and climbed to her feet. She couldn't explain the burning need she had to heal his injuries. Guilt? She suspected that was definitely part of the reason. Deep down she knew she shouldn't really feel guilty, she hadn't known Harry and Ron would react so severely and they were always going to have to find out one day. But still she couldn't stop thinking that if she hadn't told them then Malfoy wouldn't be sitting outside beaten to a pulp. She might not have been his number 1 fan but she didn't want them to do that to him, not when it was something he had faced countless times at home. With this in mind she quickly rushed back out into the common room.

She re-entered the common room with the bottle of dittany and the flannel in her hand. She looked across the room and saw Draco slumped on the sofa his head down towards his chest. His eyes were closed. Her heart jolted as she rushed across the common room to him.

_Please say he's ok._

She dropped the bottle of dittany and the flannel in an armchair.

"Draco!" She cried as she knelt on the sofa beside him grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. "Draco wake up!"

Slowly Draco opened his eyes and looked straight into Hermione's.

"You called me Draco." He murmured blinking at her as he was roused from his sleep.

Hermione quickly removed her hands from his shoulders and sat back on her knees.

"I thought you were dead or something." She breathed.

"I just closed my eyes for a moment." He told her leaning his head back on the sofa and wincing.

"Right we're going to Madam Pomfrey now." Said Hermione frantically. "You hit your head against the wall and you're not supposed to go straight to sleep if you've sustained a head injury."

"I haven't got a head injury." He insisted trying to sit up straight on the sofa, his attempts failing as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach and clutched his hand to it. "I've already told you I'm not going to the hospital wing."

"Look at you, you're in agony. Are you really that stubborn?" She questioned.

"You know I am Granger."

"At least let me heal any visible injuries. You can go to Madam Pomfrey after and tell her you hurt your head playing quidditch or whatever."

"Are you really that insistent?" He mocked her earlier question. Hermione noticed the smallest hint of a smirk appear on his face.

"You know I am." She joked back, shaking her head before getting off the sofa to retrieve her wand from her bag.

"Go on then." He sighed.

"Right, well I'll start with your nose. Does it feel broken?" She asked.

"I think so." He replied.

"Okay." She thought for a moment. "Well there is that spell Luna taught me."

"Loony Lovegood! Are you kidding me?" He said sitting up straighter despite the pain.

"Don't be silly. It'll be fine." She retorted.

"It won't be fine if you curse my nose off!" He gasped.

"Don't be a baby_. Episkey_." She cried before he could protest.

"Argh." He yelled clutching his nose with his hand. "What the hell did you do?"

"I fixed your nose. Here move your hand." She took his hand and moved it away. "See its fine. Good as new."

"Let's hope so." He muttered looking down at his hand held in hers. It felt foreign to him; he couldn't recall the last time anyone had held his hand. He tried not to be bothered by the loss of her soft skin against his when she moved her hand away. Merlin what was wrong with him? All she was doing was healing his injuries and his body was erupting in sparks at her touch.

"Now, what about your cheek? There's definitely bruising." She lifted her hand and stroked her fingers along his cheek to see if it was broken. She kept her eyes focused on the red swollen skin.

_She's touching me again._

Her fingers were gentle; the coolness of them soothed his sore skin. He watched her face, she seemed to be distracted by the feeling of his skin. He realised he was getting equally caught up in her touch. He cleared his throat bringing them both back to reality before the moment went too far.

"Umm I uh I don't think it's broken." She spoke quickly, flustered. "I can heal it with dittany.

She hastily retrieved the bottle of dittany and flannel from where she had abandoned them on the arm chair.

"I think I ought to leave your ribs to Madam Pomfrey, just in case they're broken. I don't know how strong the spell Luna taught me is." She told him.

"Oh great but it was fine to use on my nose."

Hermione rolled her eyes and opened the dittany before pouring some onto the flannel. She raised it to his cheek and started to dab at the injury. He gasped as the cold cloth touched his skin, it was colder than her fingers had been and the feeling sent a shiver down his spine.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" She asked pulling the flannel away from his face.

"No it's just cold."

"Oh sorry." She murmured.

"Do you have a quota of the word sorry to use up?" He teased her, this time his smirk was more pronounced on his face.

"I think we can safely say that the knock to your head hasn't damaged your ability to be sarcastic." She laughed lightly as she moved the flannel to heal his lip.

There was a brief moment of quiet as Hermione finished cleaning up the blood from his face. She was surprised to find that despite everything the silence was far from an awkward one. It didn't seem logical in her head that they could sit here in such comfortable silence in each other's company after everything that had just happened.

"I am sorry for what Harry and Ron just did. I knew they'd probably shout at you a bit but I didn't think they'd take it that far." She broke through the silence, no matter how comfortable it had been she still couldn't ignore her guilt.

"No offence or anything Granger but I think you might have underestimated just how much they hate me and how much they care about you. I mean that's my role isn't it; the bad guy for you all to hate." He muttered as he felt round his newly healed face.

"I don't hate you." She told him. "I mean I wouldn't say you were my favourite person in the world but you're not all bad." She continued with a chuckle.

"I'd say that's a compliment coming from you Granger." He smirked watching her as she laughed quietly and shook her head. "Anyway I should be on my way to see Madam Pomfrey before McGonagall comes searching for me."

"Do you need me to come with you?" She asked as he pushed himself up from the sofa with a wince.

"No I think you've done enough already." He said before turning round to look at her. "Thanks by the way Granger, for healing my face."

"Oh it was nothing." She blushed. "I hope your ribs are ok too."

She leaned back against the sofa as the portrait door shut behind him. She sighed, her life seemed to get more complicated every day. She and Draco had been more than civil just now; making jokes with each other. She didn't know how she felt about that, she was so sure that he would be fuming with her after what Harry and Ron had done but he hadn't been like that at all. Perhaps the bump to his head had done him some good after all.


End file.
